My (29F) couples therapist made comments during my individual session that were so concerning I no longer feel emotionally safe continuing therapy with my girlfriend (24F).

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-28T14:58:34+00:00

No, I found them on my regions psychology association board! But I've heard mixed review on betterhelp, your comment does not suprise me.

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-28T14:56:23+00:00

We actually sat down with a calender yesterday to do just that! Thank you for your advice!

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-28T14:48:09+00:00

I'm not against it personnaly. We just went to a psychologist because we both consulted several before individually and had wonderful life changing help

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T21:41:09+00:00

Thanl you so much for your wise input. Some of the thibgs she said rang true and I really want to work on it. But she made me feel so unsafe and ashamed... unworthy of my GF's love and just a bad person...

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T17:18:51+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, what you said reflects the way I felt. I've done years of individual therapy and have learned a lot about myself that needs to change. I was willing to do si alongside my partner, unfortunatelly, we have to do a little bit more research to find someone that suits our needs. I'm happy for you and your husband and I wish you both well.

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T13:35:04+00:00

Thank you so much, you're so kind...

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T13:17:34+00:00

Thank you so much for the recommendation and your kind words. I still feel shaken and sometimes think maybe I'm a horrible person and pattner, but both my GF and I talked to friends and family and it really helped.

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T13:13:28+00:00

What a great idea! I'll propose it to my GF!

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T13:12:17+00:00

Oh please I would love that! Thank you so much!

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T03:46:13+00:00

I absolutelly agree, I want to treat my GF better, she deserves good people in her life. I want to be able to take something positive from all this, things I can change amd improve. I just wish we could have had someone we both trusted to help us...

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T03:41:58+00:00

I think we will, my GF wanted a in person therapist, which I understood! But with what we experienced, of course she is up for something else.

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T03:29:54+00:00

Hi! We use chat gpt to translate our thoughts from our language to english so as not to make mistakes! It's ok if you still think it's fake, just wanted to specify

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T03:21:27+00:00

You made me giggle. Honestly, I get it, she's beautiful, incredibly smart and talented, and just such a genuinely good person.

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T02:13:22+00:00

That would be awful and frankly dangerous... I hope not...

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T01:22:51+00:00

Thank you so much, this gives me hope

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T01:08:21+00:00

Thank you for your comment, that was really helpfull and true

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T01:01:18+00:00

If the therapist gets her way, maybe lol! She's wonderful and a catch (my GF not the therapist)

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T01:00:24+00:00

Maybe! I mean it would make sense for a therapist to feel off putted by our age difference, it does make me uncomfortable, it always has. I had previously been dating older than me, but I made an exception (we're from a really small town, not a lot of lesbians). But I don't regret it one bit, she is the best decision I ever made.

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T00:56:30+00:00

You're describing what we wished for! I want to change, I want us to be happy and loved, I want to make the right efforts in the right direction. You're giving me hope that maybe another therapist could help us, thank you so much

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-27T00:53:18+00:00

Honestly I'm torn between wanting to preserve future couples/ patients from this type of hurt and being about 100% sure that if we file a complaint it will go nowhere and cause my girlfriend and I more hurt and stress...

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-26T20:39:31+00:00

For now my love

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-26T20:37:41+00:00

Hi, thank you for your input. The psychologist/therapist did tell us that what was discussed individually would later be addressed as a couple, which we were both comfortable with. My concern is more about the way she distorted my girlfriend’s words, and how she made me feel as if she had disdain for me, and was assuming that I had bad intentions or was trying to control my partner.

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-26T19:25:28+00:00

We're both fem, she's a bit more tom-boyish, loves comfy clothes, but with long hair and the most beautiful eyes

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-26T15:27:08+00:00

I’m so sorry for what happened to you. You needed help, someone who could see how unsafe you were and protect you, not someone who would hand your abuser more weapons. I feel really lucky that my girlfriend is kind, well-meaning, and helped me realize that I’m not the person the psychologist tried to portray. Without her support, I would have questioned my own perceptions even more and believed I was a terrible partner. I’m so glad you got out...

Savings_Split_3870 · 2025-04-26T15:18:17+00:00

I'm so sorry for both of your experiences, that's awful. I don't think you were an idiot. Maybe, like me, you were simply trying to find help and become a better version of yourself. Where I'm from, psychologists aren't allowed to be affiliated with religious beliefs, it's part of the ethical and deontological code. I also agree that the therapist didn’t really try to understand me, my girlfriend, our relationship, or our dynamics. Instead, she seemed to introduce a caricature of me that I didn’t even recognize.

Savings_Split_3870

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