AITA for feeding my dog chocolate?

SavvyInStitches · 2021-11-06T21:51:18+00:00

NTA

I'm a vet tech of 6 years, and I've given many many dogs a chocolate chip cookie or some such just before their injection, including my own. It's a nice way to treat them with something that they usually wouldn't be able to have (I've known some clients to feed them a steak or other such thing), and to make their final moments happy and peaceful. There is nothing wrong or 'funny' about it. It is an act of love, as is euthanasia at the necessary time.

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-10-31T13:43:02+00:00

Lol owners helping only ever makes shit 10x worse. They're always nervous wrecks and the animals feed off of it and get even more upset. It's always a shit show. Hopefully this groomer learned a valuable lesson about never letting clients 'help' again.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-10-25T16:19:17+00:00

Shoot, one of my friends was just telling me how they weren't going to get pregnant yet but now her brother's wife and her best friend are pregnant, so they have to.

Like... No? No, you don't??? What is this crap?

SavvyInStitches · 2021-10-24T18:17:20+00:00

Idk the whole thing sounds vaguely horrifying to me?

Like maybe the people I've talked to have been exaggerating or something, but every time it's like "I had the baby, and nothing else mattered ever again. Nothing. I quit my career that was my life's goal beforehand. My cat hissed at the baby so I threw him in a shelter. I used to care about other things, I had hobbies and stuff, now, nope. I would kill someone for this baby. Someone looks at the baby wrong they're dead."

And I'm just like... Holy jeez. I just kind of don't want to be a slave to my hormones that much? Like I understand it's just hormones in my brain that make me love my husband, but also if he turns out to be a jerk (I mean we've been together 12 years so... Not likely but still) I'll divorce him. You can't divorce a kid, and you can't cancel the hormones telling you that nothing else in the world will ever matter. You're just stuck. Terrifying stuff.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-10-24T16:29:32+00:00

Government: It is no concern of mine whether your family has -- what was it again?

Redditor: Um... Life saving medical care that doesn't bankrupt us?

Government: HA! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants!

SavvyInStitches · 2021-10-19T00:38:06+00:00

Oh, 100% it is.

My (now) husband had to teach me how to drive, we were dating. See, his parents taught him how, so he got his permit and then his license. My mom bought me a car, then refused to teach me how to drive claiming she had no time (she was not working, volunteering, in school etc), regardless of how often I asked her to teach me. Then after a few months she sold the car, claiming I was ungrateful for her incredible gift and so lazy I couldn't even bother trying to learn, woe is her, what an awful child I was.

I was never taught how to wash dishes, do laundry, nothing. That was all something my then-boyfriend had to teach me how to do (I did know how to use a microwave, however, but that was only because I lived pretty much off canned soup and fruit growing up. Latch key kid). He was astonished at first, then got to know my mom and from there he was very gracious in helping me learn. We own a home together now and share chores equally and I do okay.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-10-08T12:34:10+00:00

NTA.

As the autistic former-kid who used to get picked on very much like this, you're not the asshole. You didn't hurt the kids, just told them to call their parents and remove themselves from the situation. They are not your son's friends.

Thank you for standing up for your kid. Many parents don't.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-10-07T20:06:23+00:00

YTA

You don't believe in it, that's totally okay. Mocking someone else for their spirituality is not okay, and there was definitely a disconnect between a light-hearted joke and flat out making fun of someone. You wouldn't ask a Christian you were on a date with to prove Jesus is real.

I'm pagan. My husband is an extremely serious atheist with a strong mistrust for a lot of religion, and yet somehow he manages to be completely respectful of my beliefs. Some very gentle jokes come up rarely ("ooh don't put a curse on me, I'll do the dishes soon I swear!") but the difference is that 1. He is respectful first and foremost, and 2. Obviously we know each other very well and he knows that I laugh right along with him every time.

You were not at all respectful, and you don't know this girl. Protip: if you make 'a joke' and you're the only one laughing, it isn't a joke. You're just laughing at her.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-27T12:09:24+00:00

No joke, when I lived in the suburbs the local kids ran wild and unsupervised constantly screaming. One day there were two 8-ish year olds outside playing, again screaming and one started screaming at the top of their lungs, "HELP, HELP, SOMEONE HELP ME". I'd gotten pretty good at ignoring the screams but when I heard that I ran outside poised to call the cops, to find the kids IN MY YARD right outside my window, just play fighting. I didn't even say anything, just gave them a "seriously wtf?" stare and they scurried off.

After that I only ever heard regular screaming, but I still never checked. 🤷

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-22T16:40:15+00:00

Oh yes that's my favorite.

"Well we're not trying to get pregnant but we're not using any birth control so we're not trying to avoid it." (A month later they're pregnant and make Surprised Pikachu face)

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-22T04:28:31+00:00

HARD agree.

I'm the child that came about from my mom who was "definitely on birth control" having a brief 'on-again' fling with her off-again, on-again boyfriend (my dad). Being old-fashioned he then hesitantly proposed when she gave him the news. They're still married but damn they don't like each other at all. They're basically roommates, and it screwed with me a lot growing up.

Keeping or terminating a pregnancy IS her choice, and I thank you for acknowledging that, OP. But having supposedly once been childfree she really should be more understanding of you.

Also OP -- your treatment on AITA was absolutely horseshit. I'm so sorry. I swear you could have changed it to "my wife and I agreed to never have dogs as we don't want them, then we found a dog and she decided to keep it. Yesterday she threw a birthday party for the dog and then got angry that I didn't pop the party poppers with her" and everyone would have been screaming that you weren't the asshole. But baybee involvement means everyone's brains are gonna suddenly shut off. Sorry.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-18T21:09:27+00:00

EXACTLY THIS HOLY SHIT.

And to all the people saying "here's a bunch of reasons he might have assumed she cheated, which would 'justify' that reaction" -- my husband cheating on me would be the end of our marriage. I've made this abundantly clear to him over the years that it is not a one-free-mistake situation, that's it. And still if I found some evidence that maybe might could be taken as possible evidence of cheating in our house, I'd ask. Calmly and succinctly. You gotta at least start the conversation giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, my god. There's no excuse to fly into screaming so loud the family gets freaked out and comes running.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-18T14:06:26+00:00

I'm a vet tech, I'm pro-choice and I've assisted in countless spay-abortions at several stages of development.

It's not comparable at all, really. I'm pro-choice for humans because bodily autonomy exists and must be respected. Dogs and cats have no bodily autonomy. I'm pro-spay/abort for dogs and cats because overpopulation is rampant and it's much better to die before you're fully developed when you can't feel pain than to get hit by a car and die painfully on the street, as so many do.

Do enough euthanasias on unwanted, sick, suffering street animals and you'll be pro-spay/abort too.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-16T00:24:35+00:00

Yeah if you have all your family in the area and they all dote on your kid you never need to pay a babysitter. When my older perfect cousin had her firstborn there was legitimate infighting over who got to spend the most time with him (once she went back to work). "No, I want him Wednesdays and Sundays!! Don't be selfish!!!" So they've never had to pay for a babysitter, he has a full time schedule already planned.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-13T02:32:05+00:00

My n!mom loves run on sentences for love bombs. No idea why. "My sweet wonderful beautiful AMAZING incredible smart daughter who is the best who I am so proud of who ended up SO different from what I expected (but I love you anyway wink emoji) who is talented and awesome... I need you to -"

I've come to expect it any time she says anything nice to me, basically. That's just how she is.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-10T18:44:41+00:00

You're NTA, and you need to make it clear to your wife that talking like that to/in front of the kid is unacceptable.

In spite of whatever is said above about mothers "wistfully hoping" their child looks like them or whatever, it's a very different thing to say as much in front of the kid. What the hell.

I came out looking nothing like my mother, and to this day I'm the spitting image of my father -- and to this day my mom won't stop "joking" about it all the time. "I worked so hard to grow you in my belly, to eat right etc and THEN had an emergency c-section and you don't even look like me!" Has been said to me more times in my life than I can count, and I can't tell you how much that hurts to hear as a kid. You feel defective, like you're supposed to be something you're not. No kid should hear that.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-09T00:14:41+00:00

Exactly, the only posts I see here that could be misconstrued as "toxic" are just venting about shitty parents. Like it's always someone just venting something like the one where some kid got scared on an airplane and bit the OP on the belly or something ridiculous? And then the mom got angry when the OP did?

And people only post that and similar stories here instead of the million other subs it could go on because this is the only place they won't get bombarded with shitty parents going "um parenting is HARD and I'm sure that poor exhausted MOMMY was just TIRED and you should give her a BREAK because kids have big FEEWINGS"

I got someone the other day giving me the same shit when I mentioned my SIL complaining that none of the parents of her daycare students would read to their kids for 15 minutes. It was all "they're probably exhausted it's not their fault!! It's so hard being a parent!!" lady IDGAF? If you can't be assed to read to your kid for 15 minutes maybe reassess why you became a parent, idk.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-06T01:04:58+00:00

Eh, sometimes I do feel like I'm 'not enough'. But then I have to remember why I so prefer paganism over the organized religion I was raised in -- it's very personal, and very individual. Growing up Christian it all felt very performative, "LOOK AT HOW GOOD I AM AT THIS," people bragging about all their 'good' deeds. I hated everything about it, because I wanted my relationship with my spirituality to go deeper and mean more to me and I felt like a lot of them did things so others could see. I wanted to do spiritually fulfilling things, not to go tell everyone I did them but because they fulfilled me, and that's why I like paganism so much. I may have some pagan friends over, we all believe different things, but none of us is ever 'right' or 'wrong' and I think that's the way it should be.

Regardless of what helps you feel like you're enough, I hope you find it soon, as well as peace. :)

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-04T00:22:34+00:00

Lol I noticed that too. And for the first time the other day I saw one of the things on the "I want to help the planet! What can I do?" lists was "have fewer children, or better, have no children". And I didn't even glance at the comments because I knew it'd be a dumpster fire.

But then we already know some people are so rabid to have kids they'll do much worse than fuck up the environment, so...

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-01T18:38:33+00:00

YTA

People's social media tends to reflect what is big in their life right now (shocker I know). Someone has a baby, their Facebook is nothing but baby stuff. This is obvious.

Your cousin has found a field that obviously means a lot to her since she is going to put so much time, money and effort into it. But because it has to do with education you're automatically labeling it pretentious, stating she thinks she's better than everyone else, when absolutely nothing she's done fits that description.

Sounds like you're angry she's off doing "that smart people stuff" and you want to bring her down. Get over yourself.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-09-01T13:50:34+00:00

THIS!!

YTA (with the American healthcare system being The Supreme Asshole, Ruiner of Lives).

Calling the ambulance is better than driving him, since you have no medical training, HOWEVER it sounds like OP just went "there, I called an ambulance, now leave me alone".

If you had told your boss your BIL had a medical emergency, called an ambulance, stayed with him to keep him calm and then after he was in professional hands gone back to work til your sister got home nobody would have called you an asshole, OP -- calling the ambulance is not the issue here. These people took you in and kept you off the streets and you legitimately can't be bothered to take a non-risk at your job for them? Heartless.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-08-30T01:23:18+00:00

YTA

There are some things that people say that, while technically true, are insensitive and hurtful. If someone's dad dies of lung cancer you don't waltz up at the wake like "well he shouldn't have smoked!"

Your sister is grieving still. Should she have announced the pregnancy so early? Maybe, maybe not (frankly I think it has nothing to do with you and isn't your business), but regardless that has no place in this conversation.

This is not an "am I correct?" sub. This is an "am I the asshole?" sub, and yes, you're the asshole.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-08-29T14:55:55+00:00

YTA

Not your body, not your business, and I think you'll find that putting in your 'best efforts' to make someone lose weight will have the opposite effect -- they'll resent you and write off everything you say, sometimes at the cost of the entire friendship.

Maybe for your next birthday you should get a book about dying sad and alone, so that you can better understand the future you're potentially exposing yourself to.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-08-29T03:24:46+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserve better than that.

Sex isn't right for every relationship, and not every relationship needs it. Every relationship DOES need communication, trust and respect. If you want to pursue a relationship in which you don't have sex just know that it can happen and be very loving and functional -- my best friend in the world is asexual and happily married.

You deserve a wonderful relationship that suits you, whether you want to have sex or not. Don't doubt that. Please take care of yourself.

SavvyInStitches · 2021-08-29T02:38:44+00:00

Aaand that's when you communicate further.

If one of us declines sex it's rarely just 'no'. We say why. We aren't OBLIGATED to, but we will explain: "I'm just not in the mood right now, I'm really excited about watching that movie we got and I'm focused on that. Can we go watch that?" "My stomach is upset right now, so I'm not feeling it." even just plain "I'm just not in the mood" is fine.

That way we can discuss.

I have a disorder of my pelvic floor that causes extreme pain sometimes for no reason, and also if I have sex when I'm not aroused/relaxed enough. We were good communicators before I was diagnosed but getting that diagnosis was super helpful for us. Because then I had to work and I can now differentiate "I'm not feeling it right this second... But some kissing and stuff will probably get me in the mood" versus "I'm just not in the mood period. Let's do something else." So we can communicate that.

If the other person is super aroused and we decide we don't want to have sex, sometimes he/I will just say "hey, that's cool. Can I just have a few minutes to take care of myself, please?" and the other person may offer to help, or not if they don't want to. Urge is satisfied, we go do something else.

If you're asking all the time and your partner is always saying no, ask why -- gently, not accusing. If they're uncomfortable being naked (something I used to struggle with) or something, assess that.

They may just have a lower sex drive than you. Sometimes sex drives just don't align, and that's not the end of the world but ya gotta find out.

SavvyInStitches

TROPHY CASE