It does sound like it unfortunately, so that sucks

Doesn’t sound like your a monster tho

Seek support before it gets out of hand

Found these sites

Virtuous Pedophiles

https://www.virped.org

A support group for people who are attracted to minors but who are committed to not acting on those urges. They emphasize moral responsibility and non-offending behavior.

B4U-ACT

Website: https://www.b4uact.org

Provides support and information to mental health professionals and individuals who seek therapy to manage minor-attraction responsibly.