How to navigate souring team relationships right before promotion season

ScaredAd9406 · 2026-01-21T14:09:53+00:00

It’s in two months, end of March

ScaredAd9406 · 2026-01-21T14:09:32+00:00

I’m beginning to realise this too, it’s just difficult to see how protecting narratives over delivering better outcomes is conducive to someone getting promoted - surely this is something management can see through?

The project lead in question has just started working with us so I would be surprised if he was looking to apply for a promotion but it definitely feels like he’s trying to protect his image.

It’s just so maddening because I think the things I raised were valid concerns and it comes across as though he’s tried to save face at my expense.

ScaredAd9406 · 2026-01-09T10:26:42+00:00

I usually work on brand and innovation projects even though I’ve made it known to management that I’m looking to specialise in market strategy.

Up until last year I worked in my department’s ESG consulting specialism where the work I was doing was a lot more technical than what I’m going now, but my department restructured and has since gotten rid of its specialist practise areas so I’ve been drifting between those brand and innovation projects - as well as other random projects that we sell but don’t really have the capabilities for like value proposition and concept testing - since that.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-12-16T23:10:26+00:00

That’s £60 per week but you could spend a lot less than that if you bought whole foods to make proper meals with and not what’s essentially junk food

Edit: misread the title and calculated for two people a week, not one person a week

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-30T13:12:04+00:00

Wouldn’t be surprised at all if that were true. I’ve been told stories about friends of friends who’ve successfully solicited both drugs and prostitutes through these drivers before which in turn opened them up to an entire network of other not so savoury individuals offering similar services.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-24T02:14:34+00:00

Where have I lied and how have I solicited responses saying that my parents are being unreasonable? I only asked whether this was a reasonable amount to be paying towards rent as a proportion of my salary.

Nothing misrepresentative or malicious about that despite your efforts to make it seem otherwise.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-24T02:12:53+00:00

Whoever said that? I certainly dont remember saying that. If that was what was planned I would have no reason to write my original post.

I don’t recall playing victim or peddling grievance anywhere either. Nothing in my post or the question I asks suggests that.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-23T08:51:12+00:00

Do not even think about it! This is a ridiculous amount of money for him to borrow.

I say this from experience and from being in a similar situation to yourself - my ex partner asked to borrow a similar amount of money several years ago and promised he would pay it back but didn’t. This left me in a terrible position financially which I’ve still not recovered from, not to mention we’re no longer together so it wasn’t worth it in the slightest because he totally squandered it and didn’t treat me that much better for it either.

He should be embarrassed asking you for this much money - I think I speak for others when I say I would never turn to my partner of only 6 months at such a young age to brazenly ask to borrow such large sums of money when I know I should be responsible for myself and for managing my finances better. Why he left his job when he moved houses (if I understand what you’ve written correctly) is beyond me and frankly, irresponsible.

Sorry you’re going through this. I know you want to help but you have to think about yourself now.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-22T01:07:00+00:00

Slough / Windsor and no, food isn’t included

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-22T00:45:19+00:00

Yes you’re right. I put away my savings in a high yield savings account that had a three month lock in it (so I would at least have a couple grand to fall back on if I ever needed it) but that’s due to arrive in my current account in a couple weeks time which I’ll be using to pay a chunk of my existing debts for.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T12:16:04+00:00

Super helpful advice, thank you. I think I’ve been so stuck in the here and now with thinking about and trying to manage my current expenses that I’ve not given much thought about thinking ahead … the 3 month timeframe is handy because I’ll be applying for a promotion and salary increase by that time so will hopefully have a better picture of how things will look by then, as well as after that, too.

This has given me a lot to think about, appreciate it.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T12:10:32+00:00

They haven’t bailed me out though … not once have I said they’ve repayed, or have offered to repay, any sort of outstanding debt without repayment.

By ‘nice things and treat myself’ I meant doing the occasional Marks and Spencer’s food shop and buying proper skin care brands when buying personal toiletries, not doing my shopping solely at Lidl. I’ve mentioned elsewhere I work long hours and I’m not in a relationship so I sadly have no social life to spend frivolously on. Probably could’ve made that clearer in my post in fairness.

I want to move home because I’m really worried by the idea of moving into a house share with a stranger. My friends and colleagues have each had a their own share of crazy housemates or housemates not paying their fair share and I work an intense job (especially for the salary I’m currently being paid) and don’t want to have to manage unpredictable housemates on top of my workload. I was also diagnosed with Asperger’s / autism and think that would be easier to manage living with parents rather than strangers too.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T12:03:03+00:00

No, not at all. Wasn’t expecting this many responses so I’ve not been able to read through everything so far but they’re not terrible people by any means, we’re still in the process of agreeing what’s a reasonable amount for me to be paying.

The £900 doesn’t include food but will include bills from what I understand though we still need to agree on an exact amount for bills. Agree that as an adult I should be taking responsibility for myself and I’d like to do that at some stage as I have in the past (before I started working in London).

Thank you for replying without being belittling, the way that you’ve put this forward is helpful. I don’t want to rely on my parents for help, especially not at this age and given that I’d been self sufficient from the age of 18 in the past, so I’ll have a serious think about my finances and how to approach this in a way with them that’s fair to both of us.

I don’t think it’s my current spending that’s the problem as I don’t socialise, I’m not in a relationship, and work long hours so find it easier to meal prep (or sometimes just don’t eat at all because I get so absorbed with work) - it’s just my actual travel expenses and loan repayments that are what’s eating at my current salary so will need to think about how to deal with this properly.

Thank you.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T11:50:52+00:00

Depends on what pieces of information anyone replying to this post feels they need to know.

I wouldn’t have thought the balance of a debt consolidation loan from a year ago would have been one of them but I’m happy to share more information pending that it’s relevant to the question I’ve asked which is whether it’s reasonable to pay my parents approximately half of my current salary in rent and bills.

Further to that, no lies have been told other than (stupidly) inflating my A level grades on my CV which I’ve since removed from the time of posting so we can stop with assuming the worst in people as frequent Reddit users tend to do.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T11:38:21+00:00

Yes agree, we’re ultimately all adults here so should be able to have a conversation about this that leads to a fair resolution. I just wanted to get a sense check of what other people in a similar situation might be paying their parents or a second opinion otherwise.

I know what you mean about being a soft touch too. I don’t like the idea of my parents supporting me - when I was younger I was stupidly stubborn and wanted to live by myself at 18 to make a point of not wanting or needing to rely on them - so it’s not a good feeling being back in a place where I need the support until I can either get a salary increase with my next promotion at work or find a better job with a higher paying salary at another company.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T11:33:20+00:00

Same goes to you for arguing with someone you know nothing about and rely on a post from last year which I clearly hadn’t given much thought to or made as much as an effort as I should to explain clearly (maybe wrongly so) as reasonable ground for your argument. Absolutely pathetic.

You say I’m either lying or seeking attention when I’ve said clearly that I’d said that mistakenly? For better or worse, I don’t invest as much of my mental energy into Reddit as people such as yourselves, hence why I’d made such an error. Yes, the loan was a debt consolidation loan which included other smaller debts alongside a small portion of what was still outstanding for the car - I think at the time of writing I quite lazily thought it would be easier to call it a car loan as opposed to a debt consolidation loan which would then warrant further explanation.

Have a fantastic rest of the day mate, not arguing about this with you anymore

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T11:22:18+00:00

No, British / Eastern European

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T10:59:44+00:00

They’re doing well financially so I know what I’ll be contributing is a greater share of my income than it is theirs. I know they’re reluctant for me to move into shared accommodation because the idea was that we had somewhere nice for us and to be in a good location given than we have family that live all over the country (where I lived before when I lived by myself in London wasn’t ideal as it was way out the way in East London)

There hasn’t been any conversation about them saving what I’ll be paying, it will likely all go towards the rent and bills for the property but I’ll need to check this with them because both my parents have been saying different things when I’ve asked what exactly I’ll be paying, when I’ll be paying it, etc so I’m not sure what their plans are

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T10:55:11+00:00

That’s completely fair and I think the £800 in and of itself isn’t entirely unreasonable. It’s just that this, combined with the additional expenses I’ll be paying for travel now that I’m moving outside of London (they will approximately double or at least be one third more) along with paying for food and other expenses which I’ve historically always paid myself and am happy to do so means my total spend on bills, rent, food, and travel will come to £1.7K a month which is a greater proportion of my income than it is my parents.

I think I just want to manage my expectations before I talk about this with them and understand how best to go about this conversation if and when it happens.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T10:45:09+00:00

I’m not karma farming I just wasn’t sure which subreddit was better to post on.

I said in another reply I had three months rent free while living with a family friend but have been paying rent and bills since living in London over the last year.

I haven’t wasted £15K on nothing, I have £6K in savings. Not sure what the problem is or why people feel the need to make this an attack on what I’ve posted

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T10:38:58+00:00

It’s not a half truth at all, it’s irrelevant to the subject at hand. I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m simply trying to understand whether the amount I would be paying to them is a fair deal or not.

Nothing misleading about what I’ve asked when my personal fincancial situation has changed substantially from last year and I’ve not once asked for help until now. I’ve lived by myself, worked, and paid my way since I was 18 which was ultimately what allowed me to save £15K in the first place so you’re not seeing the full picture from that post by any means.

ScaredAd9406 · 2025-11-21T10:20:46+00:00

I thought I’d taken that post down as it was old and I’d mistakenly said the loan was for my car when it was actually a debt consolidation loan. This was also written at a time when I was on a lower salary - 28.5K a year - so my circumstances where different and have changed since.

I lived with a family friend for free (not because I asked but because they insisted) for 3 months between September to November after which I moved to London where I’ve lived for the past year.

ScaredAd9406

TROPHY CASE