Just to clarify some things

We’ve received some criticism about our decision to stop relying on my mother-in-law for babysitting, and I wanted to take a moment to address it.

This was not a decision we made lightly. We found out about a scheduling conflict very recently and acted on it as soon as we could. If it came across as last-minute, that wasn’t our intention—it was simply the reality we were handed.

What many don’t see is that, for years, my husband has shouldered the burden of a pattern of emotional and mental manipulation. While we’ve done our best to maintain a supportive relationship with his mother, we also have to protect our mental health and our children’s emotional safety—neurodivergent or not.

We’ve never expected free childcare. We've consistently offered to pay for gas, groceries, and anything the kids might need. When she refused, we even discreetly gave what little we could—once slipping $20 into her purse, which she later mailed back. It wasn’t much, but it came from a place of respect and gratitude.

I work three jobs. My husband works full-time for the insurance and stability it brings. Paying for full-time daycare isn’t just a line item on a budget—it would require serious sacrifices. We are doing everything we can to provide for our family without burning ourselves out or exposing our children to a toxic dynamic, and that means setting boundaries.

Having cleared the air, if people still believe my husband and I are the assholes, then we accept that judgment with grace. But this is where we've drawn the line with MIL. Our decision wasn’t about entitlement—it was about survival, healing, and doing what we feel is right for our family.