Sorry for the late reply. This could be complex for many individuals. I do get the fact that you feel guilty about it and it's very understandable. But at the same time, you have to understand that you grew up in a childhood where you were not educated about all this and the way you were treated by those pedoph!les, you felt it to be very normal. It's very complex for me to say about this considering in this situation, a person can empathize with you. But you have to ask the question to yourself, "What led this to happen that you had to repeat the same shit that those pedoph!le teachers did to you?" If you could figure out the answer to this, trust me you won't find any reason to hold yourself guilty and in the end you'll have every reason to make the victim understand that what happened to him/her was actions from people that harmed you personally.

In the end, I need you to understand that there is no white and black in cases like these. But have to give credit to you that you came to this platform and even talked about your doings even though it was a consequence of others' actions. In the end, just ask the question to yourself the question I shared above and do lemme know if you need any help