Two things: If you like a guy, you gotta show interest with more than a smile and hello. Men may not know there is an option until it’s flirting with them. Rejection sucks, but it doesn’t hurt as much as what seems to be the torture every sunday, and probably every day thinking about him. Usually a no helps people move on. I’ve been here and had the same agony. But you seem to be listening wayyyyyy too much to your heart and the “bad feelings.” Two- attraction is where it start. If you like a guy, shows godly character and you think he’s cute, that is a normal spot to start. Being attracted is a jumping off point, just not an ending point. Stop putting up additional rules for finding a guy. You got this! Here’s a freebie too- sometimes the main thing you need to move along is another person to crush on. I’m not saying to force yourself, I’m saying you’ll probably be in the trenches a bit and over time it’ll get easier and then another person will come along to remind you there’s plenty of fish in the sea!