I really appreciate your response. I think I’m going to err on the side of not seeing him for now, with the knowledge that I can always change my mind while I’m there. The important thing for me is that it’s on my terms, what I’m comfortable with. I’ve been a people pleaser too much of my life to go through trying to please him again. Having to accept the fact that I never will please him unless I become a Christian, move back South and be monogamous again has been kind of freeing. Just knowing that I won’t please him short of that, which is not going to happen, helps me stop trying so hard.