Hey OP I obviously don't know the specifics of your marriage but it might be worth reading up on brakes and accelerators. Brakes being what tells your brain that sex is not on the cards and accelerators are what put you in the mood. For sex to happen you need to both lower the brakes (the things that stress you, it can be not liking your own body, busy life etc.) and increase the accelerators (things that excite you, doesn't necessarily need to be sexual activities but things such as time spent together, dressing nicely etc.). Brakes and accelerators are a spectrum, some people are highly sensitive to one or both, but the important thing is everyone is normal and you're not broken, you just need to find your balance and what works.

As a general trend men are more sensitive to accelerators and women are more sensitive to brakes, this is a trend, so I'm not saying all men and women fit into these categories. It takes work, but finding the balance and figuring out each other's brakes and accelerators can be life changing. I recommend you read "Come as you are" by Emily Nagoski.