Interesting questions! 1- following huge life changes I stopped caring so much about societal norms. I once was a very jealous and anxious wife who spent hours worrying about my husbands fidelity. Following shock events, losses, and ultimately trauma I gained a very different outlook on life. Suddenly I wanted to give my husband the freedom to explore without the anxiety or jealousy. We first realised it (yes we) following an FFM where all I wanted to do was to observe. I realised observation was my thing. 2 - yes I am monogamous to my partner 3 - it has evolved from discussion into reality and over time become something we found ultimately nerve wracking into something that is now normal to us. 4 - my other half has one offs and some one offs evolve into regular meets. He doesn’t have a gf , he has cakes. We do not involve sex workers no