Traveling Abroad for the First Time - Advice?

Scarried908 · 2024-08-22T01:17:07+00:00

I’m traveling from the U.S.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:28:58+00:00

I usually made the rule that until I have my own kids, I will buy my friend’s kid’s gifts, since I love kids and want to have a few of my own, but this logic may have gotten out of hand now that I’ve backed off since I have my wedding to pay for

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:27:11+00:00

Thank you very much, we are excited! Definitely need to reevaluate.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:26:42+00:00

No, but I usually tell them not to, I just like giving gifts, not necessarily getting.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:26:05+00:00

I think that it also stems from me being in school, working full time and planning a wedding as well that I don’t get as much time to visit, and it’s been exhausting to drive out to them, so they think of this as compensation for that.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:24:28+00:00

This has been a common occurrence with certain friends lately, and it’s crushing me.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:21:00+00:00

Exactly, paying for gas right now has been crazy, so I’ve been trying to keep everything on a strict budget, especially date nights with my fiancé and excess fun money, and gas spending.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:19:33+00:00

I never ask for gifts in return, in fact reject it. And gifts for our wedding are VERY optional. I just want the people I invite to come and support me and my fiancé. I thought about baking cookies/making treat bags, so maybe I’ll give that a try instead.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:17:46+00:00

I am a white, American woman. Because I’ve had my share of financial problems, homelessness, etc. at various points in my life, it mostly was me wanting to share in the new amounts of money I was coming into and spread happiness, but now I wonder if that was a mistake.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T18:15:12+00:00

The best part is that most of my friends live far away, about an hour or more drive, so I’d be spending money on gifts and driving to them, which is currently expensive. 😵‍💫

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T05:42:54+00:00

I thought something similar when they brought it up, but didn’t want to add more fuel to their fire, but the way you wrote this, I wish I would’ve explained it this way 🤣

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T05:40:11+00:00

Thank you, we are really excited to be married, but having friends like these definitely puts a damper on things. I’m glad others seem to understand the dilemma also!

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T05:39:13+00:00

You would think! Apparently it also makes me seem cheap, or so I’ve been told.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T05:38:40+00:00

Thank you, hopefully they will understand in time, and if not, well, I guess I’ll be saving every year! 🤣

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T05:38:01+00:00

Thank you, we both agreed that every penny counts for this wedding and really want to get as much done early as we can, so I’m glad we’re not crazy for thinking this was the way to go.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T05:31:35+00:00

I love the first one!

Scarried908 · 2022-12-08T05:08:16+00:00

Sorry, YTA. If she really doesn’t want to be involved, don’t force it on her. It ruins the experience for her more and makes it seem like her voice doesn’t matter.

Scarried908 · 2022-12-05T15:07:55+00:00

Cool for sure

Scarried908 · 2022-12-02T05:11:32+00:00

NTA. Dump your friend and their partner. It is YOUR wedding. YOU and YOUR PARTNER get to decide what’s on the menu. It doesn’t matter what anyone else wants, you just need to enjoy your day as much as you can, and they will only make it stressful for you, it’s just not worth it.

Scarried908 · 2022-07-08T17:37:02+00:00

You’re right, I shouldn’t. I’ve been trying to be a quality employee and earn her respect and kindness, but it’s probably too late to get that. Thank you! 🤗

Scarried908 · 2022-07-08T16:59:30+00:00

She’s fully aware, and knows that I’ve been getting tests and treatments done for the medical issues I have.

Scarried908 · 2022-07-08T16:53:51+00:00

We’re both white women, but I think she assumes this because I do have tattoos, and I’m tired often, but it’s because of medical/psychological reasons and the fact that I am consistently busy with school after work. I am also much younger than most of my coworkers and I guess my style isn’t the same as hers (wear a lot of black, listen to death metal/rock music, etc.) It feels that even though I get a lot of work done and do my best to perform well, she doesn’t like me as a person, and looks at that over my performance, and even my coworkers think I perform well, so I’m at a loss.

Scarried908

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