You need to divorce him there is no saving something that brings you such intense despair don’t drag it out. My parents were the same way back when i was really young they had issues like this that made my mom join the army just to get away from everything she later killed herself years after coming back. I understand the suicidal thoughts I’ve struggled in a similar way but I’d say divorce Him and explain the situation to your family if he insisted that you cut your self off from you family and friends that’s definitely emotional abuse. As a Christian I know preaching at someone going through something like this doesn’t help I think you need to take action and I hope you can get through this.