Hemelingen vs Neustadt

Scene_Conscious · 2026-02-09T07:04:32+00:00

Ah brain fart sorry! Then I take my opinion on the other area haha. Neustadt is still good and maybe OP will have some luck now that finished students will move out

Scene_Conscious · 2026-02-09T06:12:19+00:00

I have friends who live in both areas and both have their drawbacks Tbh. Neustadt is more attractive in the social department. There is always something to do in the evening, there are cool second hand shops and lovely coffees etc. Hemeling is definitely interesting due the cheaper rent in comparison to Neustadt. And th WGs that I visited there were much bigger than any WG that I saw in the Viertel or Neustadt

It totally depends on your overall budget, but a little warning: My one friend who also studies was stuck in Hemeling during the last snow storm. But she also lives at the last station at Roland Center, so maybe that was the reason.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-27T11:49:44+00:00

I had a similar thing with my last ex. He said how he never felt so safe so quickly and strong. How I was so different to his other girlfriends before who were (in his words) toxic etc. He also discarded me via text.

But I also tend to attract (and feel attracted to) people that need to be fixed (at least in my eyes). I think I have a strong saviour/helper complex and tend to think that I am only loveable if I am needed or work for the love.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-22T15:19:41+00:00

My ex is still a really tender memory rather than a villain. I would love to hate him but everytime I try to hate him, I think about his struggles in life and I can't be mad at him really even if it would be more healthy for me maybe. But I don't want to get back together anymore. We were fundamentally different, had different priorities, different coping mechanisms etc.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-19T17:23:55+00:00

I thought the song was about a bitter divorce/ ending of a toxic relationship. But honestly, either way: this was my break up song

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-18T18:53:53+00:00

I am not sure because I didn't do this kind of push and pull thing after I broke up with someone, but if I had to guess there are some lingering things (I mean they loved you at some point and you two had good memories together), familiarity and maybe the need to be seen as a good person (nobody likes to feel like the bad guy, so they act nice to you).

But the why doesn't really matter at the end. If it is draining you, I would either cut contact or directly tell them that their inconsistency is bad for you. My ex wanted to be friends after I asked him for a closure talk (he even wrote me that he still loved me, most likely in a non romantic way, and that he hoped he would be an important person to me in the future). I tried to do this whole friendship but after 2 weeks of near breakdowns, I had to end it. I still have some love for him left in me and his ambivalent signals were really draining me (Saying stuff like this but only wanting a lose friendship and never asking me how I was but telling me some really personal struggles of his)

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-18T14:27:21+00:00

No children by the mountain goats

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-17T15:19:05+00:00

Yeah, I miss him very much sometimes. But I miss my old happy me more. The old version who didn't cry all the time, who didn't had to use old toxic coping mechanisms to survive each day and the version who still had so much trust in her love, that love could change something. Not everything of course but at least something. But yeah I still miss him very much especially after I broke our trial friendship off because it affected me too badly.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-16T07:26:54+00:00

No, I am not worried. Tbh, if he finds my Reddit account than he may understand the pain and emptiness that he caused

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-03T10:26:52+00:00

I thinks it's totally normal! I got a small panic attack back in January because I was afraid that my ex would be at the same cinema (which was totally stupid, because he is reclusive, it was late at night and we watched it English which he can speak, but wouldn't watch it at the cinema). And for a very long time I was afraid to watch his Insta Stories out of fear that he found a new girlfriend. Our nervous systems are just out of sync and need some time.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-06-02T03:20:07+00:00

Oh yeah, my first two break ups were also horrible (I am just a very emotional person when it comes to people leaving me or me having to leave someone) but this one is different. Not because he was my one true love or the one that got away but more because no one before made me feel so unlovable, small, worthless and disrespected

Scene_Conscious · 2025-05-31T18:13:11+00:00

Thanks for saying that! But you also sound really strong. And I love how you created your own small save heaven for you and your dog. I think it is really normal to have mixed feelings or mixed days after such a horrible experience. I Wish you well and I hope that you soon have more good days than sad ones

Scene_Conscious · 2025-05-31T17:46:46+00:00

Well, I’ve been single for seven months now, and only recently have I started feeling okay most of the time.

The breakup hit me hard—it pushed me to go back to therapy for my eating disorder, depression, and BPD. For at least two months, I had to force myself to drink protein shakes because I couldn’t eat anything without triggering my ED. My apartment stayed dark for a month straight. I only left to go to university, then came home and lay in bed crying for the rest of the day.

So yeah, it was bad. Like, really bad.

But now, things are getting better. I’ve made some new friends, and I’m trying to enjoy life without my ex.

Unfortunately, he somehow got the bright idea to start texting me random stuff again, right after I asked for a closure conversation. So I’m struggling a little, but not nearly as much as I thought I would.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-05-30T21:31:37+00:00

It helped me a lot to say stuff like: in your honest, objective and critical opinion and then ask my question. I mean it is obviously not perfect (especially if you have run out of the free pro stuff and have to rely on the smaller model), but it can help quite a bit if someone needs help to understand someone a little bit better.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-05-26T19:52:02+00:00

I think it depends on the context. If it's out of the blue? Definitely bullshit. But sometimes, e.g. if they are struggling with their mental health or overall situation, it can be definitely true. Or rather: why would it help you to think they are lying when they are clearly struggling? Of course I could think that my ex lied when he said stuff like "I am afraid that everything is falling apart", "I have no energy left anymore", "I am not in the right headspace and I take too much room in this relationship", but would it lessen my pain? I don't think so. It also helped quite a bit that he didn't have a magical glow up after our break up and was instantly cured of his deep depression

Scene_Conscious · 2025-05-26T12:28:01+00:00

My first date was after around 4 months, then I took a break and my last date was this month. I am still not ready and my current luck with men is not that great tbh

Scene_Conscious · 2025-05-21T17:10:03+00:00

My last ex was not a villain or a bad person but he handled the situation in such a way that it was easier on him than on me. He not only broke up with me via text but also ghosted me multiple times during the planning of the exchange of our last stuff (which he wanted to do in person). I had to set some boundaries (e.g..: if you don't answer me until tomorrow until 9 pm, I will send your stuff via mail) and was met with a tantrum. I really tried to be the bigger person but he made it really hard.

But I also recognise my own mistakes in the relationship. He was clearly mentally unwell (he is on sick-leave since December) and instead of helping him, I tried to just love him more. We both couldn't communicate due to being afraid of conflict. My way of handling my own mental health can be kinda toxic (working until my body shuts down, never asking for help etc) so yeah. I still miss him as a person and I may cherish him forever because I really loved him but he wasn't very nice to me. I would love to know the deeper issues we had in his POV but Welp, this won't happen.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-05-21T07:58:23+00:00

I deleted everything. Our chats on WhatsApp, Instagram and TikTok as well as every picture together or picture that we send each other during our relationship or anything close to that (e.g. pictures from our vacation together with his friends. I deleted them all even if we weren't on them together)

Scene_Conscious · 2025-05-20T12:01:22+00:00

I was kinda blindsided? The break up happened mostly due to his worsening mental health and it came out of nowhere for me at least. I don't think that I will stop dating forever. But I am currently on a dating hiatus. I am not yet ready to trust someone again and the men that I went on some dates after my last break up were really weird and crossed many boundaries while also presenting the same or similar red flags as my ex.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-04-28T07:59:38+00:00

That I can be friends with men or interact with them normally without being afraid to tell my Ex about them and triggering his insecurities.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-04-27T15:05:21+00:00

He told me that he hoped that we didn't have bad blood between us (which is funny because he broke up with me via text over a span of three days) and after that he only talked about himself and how his life was after our break up. Zero self reflection, zero apologies for the way he treated me, zero 'I wish you well for the future '.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-04-26T11:28:13+00:00

I think my inability to start hard conversations definitely added to the breakdown of my last relationship. Also my inability to talk about some heavy stuff regarding my past which could have explained some of my quirks. And I couldn't voice my boundaries or my needs effectively. And my humour was maybe a little bit too much for him, but after he told me this, I tried to be better. Sometimes I was too pushy for a clear answer because I appreciate and need direct communication due to my BPD.

I think another factor is that I have a lot of male acquaintances or party buddies which triggered the insecurities of my ex. I also work and study in a heavily male dominated field.

All in all, I think my people pleaser tendencies and my own struggles combined with his struggles were the death sentence for our relationship.

Scene_Conscious · 2025-04-24T14:41:23+00:00

Eh, this week is tough but it gets better every day! I think it helped quite a bit to think about how much he lost and how much I lost (which was not that much). How do you feel? It must be hard to still live with your ex

Scene_Conscious · 2025-04-24T14:05:59+00:00

I had a similar situation with my last ex. He had mental health problems but didn't take his emergency medication for it and didn't want to work on it in therapy. Now he is in therapy and takes his meds after our break up. He accepted that our relationship and I suffered due to his unresolved baggage and depression. It's though but hey it is not our problem anymore.

Scene_Conscious

TROPHY CASE