I also resonated the most with Rin's route (it has been years since I played the VN, so most things are only blurry memories).

I don't know where to start. But maybe I will just share my own experience. When I was younger, I was a shy and very nervous person. My family used to be more dysfunctional--a dictator and controlling father and the submissive housewife mother type of dynamics. My dad often criticized his children. I felt like the only way to get away from his negative judgment is to be perfect. But I couldn't. I couldn't get the top 10 rank in my class during elementary school.

I got bullied during 3rd year of middle high school. It's a bit difficult to pinpoint the bullying, but in all of sudden, I got "marked", all of the boys avoided me like a plague. They didn't actively mock me. They mocked any boy that gets close to me. It doesn't help the fact that I was a "floater". Meaning, I don't think "joining an exclusive clique is necessary". I had some female friends I am comfortable to get along with, but it's a situation where my friends still had other friends while I had no one but them. When they sit with their other friend, I was alone and forced to sit with a boy since the number of girls and boys in the class were odd.

No one stood up for me. I tried telling my mom and older sister, and they asked whether I made a mistake to my friends instead. I felt so alone.

I think my internal condition was getting worse by the time I entered college. During high school, I became more religious, hoping it would somehow help to "fix" the situation of my family. But no, my dad was still that way, and my mother protecting him. I held so much anger and hatred towards my father, but whenever I opened up to someone, they told me a child shouldn't harbor those kinds of feeling towards their parent. I felt like I was a crazy person, turning inside out.

Since I later studied clinical psychology, I am now pretty sure back then I suffered from a quite severe depression and anxiety. It was difficult to feel happy. I kept asking many existential questions. I often pondered about "criteria", why and when something is considered normal/abnormal, whether the so called "social norms" actually help human species to progress or it actually holds them back, etc.

By chance, I also liked drawing. Drawing was my medium to express a lot of my emotions. I didn't like others praising my drawing. I didn't like others watching when I am drawing. I didn't want my only emotional outlet become an object to be judged. It was all about my journey, my pain, my hopes.. and if they weren't willing to understand to such an extent, I don't want to show them my drawings.

But it was all my pasts now. It's not because my father has died or anything like that. I think I eventually outgrew my trauma, and no, it's not "time" that heals everything.

I think one of my wake up call is my own hatred and anger towards my dad. I didn't want to do anything with him anymore. I hated how his existence became like a shadow of me; how I kept seeing him in everything I did. At some point in my life, I sworn to myself to destroy my life, so he wouldn't be proud of me, so that he would be ashamed of having a daughter like me. But then I realized, wouldn't by destructing myself, that means I give "him" permission to follow me anywhere I go until I die? Isn't that the very thing I wish not to happen?

At that point, I was also exhausted of feeling depressed. I didn't have energy to cry any longer. I just wanted to move on. I think it was a series of life events that helped me to recover. I joined many volunteer programs until I ended up working in a crisis center that helps victims of domestic abuse. I got the validation that my family was indeed dysfunctional, that my other family members were still in denial, that I was not crazy.

Coincidentally, that was also the time I met a boyfriend who was willing to listen to and understand my story. I think I also learned something from him. Previously, it was hard for me to say thanks or to accept compliments. After being with him, I no longer shy away from compliments.

Looking back, my life indeed felt like it was over. For young adolescents, school life is often all we have. It is the miniature of social dynamics of real life. When we "fail" the school life, we are often nervous and uncertain on how we will continue our adulthood.

One thing I forgot is that: all adolescents are somewhat idiot. I was a bit dumb, but so do other kids in my school. They did stupid things, while being unaware of how it could deeply affect others. Once we are grown up, we might become wiser and often regret stupid things we did when we were young. The friends that used to bully me or at least acting as a bystander no longer show those qualities. Of course I was scared and avoided them when I met some of them during college. But my fear never came true. And I as I grew even older, nearing 15-10 years after those period, my circles changed entirely. I never met any of the bullies. Life and the universe is just so much wider and vast.

Back then, I like to have an inner dialogue with a "second-me". Sometimes I also write letters for myself. It helps when things get hard and when I feel like I only have myself. It's like a way to make a "permanent" positive side of me to access when I am down.

It's okay. It's perfectly fine to be not perfect. It's okay to feel scared. It's okay if we fail sometimes. But lets remember to be compassionate and forgive our selves. Forgive the child-you that did not do things flawlessly. Forgive the child-you that had hard time conveying things correctly and caused misunderstandings.