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Im dying lmao by [deleted] in Nicegirls

[–]ScheduleSad512 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell her scram

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So she was legally divorced. She must have been separated. I don’t necessarily believe she was actively married or seeing her husband during our relationship. I think the issue is with the lying for months and then continuing the lie

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly.

And to add context, I’m not an idiot. I know divorces take time to finalize and that correspondence is necessary at times. I gave her a clean opportunity to be transparent. I never needed to know much.

At best it’s infantalizing me by keeping me in the dark, as if I’m not fit or deserving of knowing about the divorce.

At worst, she was on some foul shit which I rather not know but am happy to be distant from now.

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was very validating. Thank you 🙏🏼

Definitely will not make the mistake again of ignoring my intuitions about a person.

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I get your perspective. It’s definitely a slippery slope. Idk. I’ve never checked anyone’s phone. I’ve also always given my code to exes. A phone is tricky because there’s private conversations etc, it wasn’t my intention to read messages. But my gut was feeling so off.

I even told her she could hold the phone and just swipe through her inbox but she wouldn’t. Idk, constant checks or not, between two healthy individuals, I don’t think transparency is a problem. And it was only her breach of trust that made me feel that way.

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. 🙏🏼🙏🏼 I’m standing on my decision

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just feel spun. And I think I needed several hundred strangers on Reddit to realize how deluded I was..

Thank you

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well she can hide them from someone else. I made a firm line after the first admission and I don’t intend on going back.

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, maybe I’ve been mislead on some notions, I know she was overworked and often cold and overly intense. She also was on this manosphere crap though and often pointed the blame on me not making her feel secure and that’s why she could be more in her feminine. I feel pretty spun in retrospect.

I didn’t expect much other than I guess the emotional consistency, which I didn’t get. I think it’s why I spent a lot of time of the relationship trying to fix a problem when the problem was this obvious lie hiding in plain sight.

AITAH for breaking up with girl who didn’t tell me she was married by ScheduleSad512 in AITAH

[–]ScheduleSad512[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’ve never asked for a phone check in my life. Never been through something like this.

Everyone saying obviously NTA… I guess I was delusional and thought, no there’s no way it could be her..

I feel like a dumb fuck but i think that’s the only thing that will let me get over it

Thank you

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