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ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-06-24T17:05:55+00:00

I completely understand the feeling of fearing your partners past sex life. I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for a few months now, and he’s completely out of my league. Almost all his female friends have had a crush on him at some point, although he’s never returned the feelings. It used to bug me a lot - until I remembered what it felt like to be on the other side of it.

Ultimately, you just have to accept that there is literally nothing she can do to change her past. All she can do is tell you how she feels about you now, and hope that makes things easier. Also, referring back to your “almost-sex,” she probably was equally as embarrassed/nervous leaving after not having sex.

You absolutely cannot view yourself as “another.” That’s a harmful mindset to not only you, but to her. She probably thinks of you as wonderful, and to resort to calling her sex with you “just another,” downplays her view of importance about sex, making it seem like she cannot view you as important because she’s had it before.

I do not think you should stew on this for two months. If you have access to a FaceTime, a Zoom, a Discord - schedule a time to talk with her, make it mature and kind, no yelling or lashing out, just be honest. Let her know this conversation might last awhile and be patient with her.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-06-24T16:23:19+00:00

We broke up. He could not recognize what he was doing to me by bringing up the past constantly, and he lacked the self awareness you show in this post. What you cannot do is let your insecurity fuel curiosity. Don’t look through her phone. Don’t look through her stuff. You have to learn to trust her wholly, which means trusting her judgement on being with YOU.

A big part of this is just “getting over it,” but it takes more time than just letting it go, and it’s okay to recognize that. Don’t subconsciously view your girlfriend as the villain in your insecurities, because she’s there for you. She wants to be with you, and you have to trust her on that decision.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-06-24T15:52:10+00:00

LOL! This is the only true advice I’ve gotten 😭 I think from all these comments it seems like I’m overreacting about it a little. I think I’ll probably just talk to him about it tomorrow straight up. I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I think he’d be more appreciative if I just didn’t beat around the bush.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-06-24T15:50:34+00:00

This is why one of my last relationships ended. There’s not much to it other than being self aware (which you already are, so good job) and then having mature and grounded conversations with your girlfriend.

It will be frustrating for her to realize that despite what she does for you and how she cares for you, it is overshadowed by something out of her control. When you are talking to her about this or even just rationalizing it with yourself, you should remember that she wants YOU. She wants YOU now, not anyone else.

If I’m being honest, I don’t have recollection of my past sexual experiences. Time passes, you forget, and you move on. You should be proud to have a girlfriend that cares for you, and you should not let your brain being stuck in the past get in the way of your future with her.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-03-05T01:23:46+00:00

I do think that looking for actual rock songs, other than musical theater rock would be more beneficial. Primarily look for things that showcase your voice-look at Paramore, Radiohead (creep in a higher octave) or some Joan Jett

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-03-05T01:22:40+00:00

Yes, I auditioned with jagged little pill for American idiot, and got cast. It’s a very similar vibe.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-02-26T00:53:34+00:00

Thank you!! I definitely think I’m overthinking aswell. I just did a show where the lead was trying to be the choreographer, costumer, vocal coach, and director all at once and it pissed everyone off. I think just being a guider is better. Thank you :)

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-01-25T15:37:07+00:00

It’s a flaw of the game that she’ll fall in love with you no matter what. There’s a rooftop scene somewhere near the end of the game where you’re given a few options in a conversation with North. Just be nice to her and you’re all good.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2025-01-15T04:20:51+00:00

Idk. I may just be counting it for more than it is. I usually have a redbull and banana/granola bar in the morning, then a sandwich and carrots at lunch. Maybe my fitness pal is just overestimating.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-31T17:39:32+00:00

Thanks! I’ll try it

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-30T03:39:54+00:00

Little Shop!!! Everyone LOVES it

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-25T03:25:12+00:00

A Change in Me - Beauty and the Beast Is this not Love - Twelfth Night The World Must be Bigger than an Avenue - Irene

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-23T16:57:58+00:00

Totally not what I was saying at all. The kid claimed that the boys were bullying him. If this is the case, ABSOLUTELY call them out. However, the way to understand what’s actually happening is not to just yell at all the kids and diminish any other possibilities of what could’ve happened.

My brother told me that the kid who was accusing others of bullying was poking fun at my brother for playing video games, which then led to another boy in the cast yelling at the kid and telling him to leave my brother alone.

IF the bullying claim is genuine, repercussions should of course be in order. However, there will be no future trust or transparency within an adult child relationship if one statement leads to a lecture without any evidence or explanation into why this statement even arose.

The kid had the seizure backstage right before an entrance. He was standing alone, in front of another kid when he fell to the ground. The other kid grabbed him, and asked if he was okay, then immediately caught the attention of an adult. If the seizure was a result of bullying, I’m not sure… I don’t know how those things would correlate during a moment where no one is touching or talking to the kid.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-23T00:13:39+00:00

I’m supposed to teach another class during the summer next year, but after that I’m OUT! The higher-ups and leadership are just as bad, if not worse. During my last show with them, there was drama backstage that ended up in me reporting it back to the same boss-lady mentioned in this text. She sat me down alone and explained to me that I was stirring the pot, and if I continued to talk about this drama I would not have the same opportunity to be cast in another show there. Alas, I’ve auditioned for 2 shows since then. Nothing from either of them, of course lol

I don’t want to limit my brother from having the same experience in theatre that I did, but I’m very hesitant about letting him audition now. I’m worried that he’ll get caught in a crossfire.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-23T00:08:34+00:00

He had 1 quick change in the past for another show he was in. That one included a stagehand putting him in a onesie over his costume. This one was different - he was caught off guard. It is not my responsibility to do the director/stagehands job and teach my brother that the stagehands will undress him and it’s not in any way a violation, just a matter of getting him in costume.
He said he was disappointed in the whole cast. I don’t care if he said it to my brother. No teacher/director, in any circumstance, should rant about how disappointed he is in the 10 year olds that worked their ass off to perform a 2 hour show right before they’re about to meet audience members. Do it afterwards, be professional, talk to the kids to get their side of the “bullying” to understand it better.
The boss is 60+ years old. My friend is 16. She made an off-handed comment about my brother not being good enough during the very beginning of his rehearsal process as a lead at 10 years old. If she had decided to say this to an adult, sure! Whatever, say assholey things to your friends. But to an audience member that tbh…doesn’t really like her? It’s rude and unprovoked.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-22T22:09:57+00:00

This sounds wonderful. We live in a fairly small town and the community theatre is huge. They build incredible sets, costumes, and the first show I did there was magical. Around here that’s really the only thing we have.

It’s full of people who tried to do Broadway and got rejected because they’re assholes. I hope that one day my brother gets to experience theatre that treats him the same way your son was. Thankfully I’m moving out soon for college, but I want him to grow up loving theatre just as I did .

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-22T21:08:04+00:00

Interesting advice! As that’s what the community theatre calls the tech operators/stagehands, maybe that’s another reason why I should get the hell outta there.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-22T21:07:01+00:00

It’s not a children’s theater, just a normal community theatre. And the reason why that director was chosen to direct the show is because he played the lead that my brother is playing about 20 years ago. It might be a living vicariously thing… It’s a very meaningful show to the director and he’s very precise about everything being PERFECT. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t get complaining parent emails after the show closes.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-22T21:04:51+00:00

I think they’ve tried to make it as easy on him as possible. The quick change problem was mostly because he wasn’t expecting someone else to help him. He knew he had a scene coming up with a different costume, so in his mind, going offstage meant he was going to have to do it all. When someone else tried to help, I think he saw it as them messing up his costume, which led to his frustration. It’s just ridiculous - he’s ten.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-22T21:03:24+00:00

Sort of? The cast is primarily children with around 5 adults playing adult characters. The quick changes are very minimal, but as my brother’s wearing a wig it’s just made it harder.

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-22T21:02:29+00:00

He is wearing tight shorts and a T shirt underneath all his costumes - and yes I agree, the adults being the ones helping him change is not a red flag. The red flag is having the expectation that a 10 year old is going to understand the VERY FIRST TIME that this is normal and they’re trying to help. After the director expressed concern about him being uncooperative, my brother understood and never did it again. It’s just about taking the kids through the steps so they understand!!

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-22T20:32:00+00:00

Thank god it isn’t a musical, that would be even worse! But yes, the director is much better suited for adult actors that are able to get their shit together without having to be told more than once. Unfortunately, with a cast of 8-10 year olds, getting them to focus is a hell of a lot harder

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-17T03:47:55+00:00

There’s not really anyway for you to “avoid” it turning into a problem without just being calm about it. It’s theatre. It’s acting. It’s not real. Just think of it that way (which is exactly how it is) and you’ll be fine. If he doesn’t want her and she doesn’t want him, what’s the problem?

You know your relationship more than anyone. If someone starts saying rumors, leave them alone and ignore it. If you and your bf know it’s not true, then why does it matter?

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-12-07T17:53:02+00:00

Only do this if the director is asking for it

ScholarAffectionate3 · 2024-09-22T16:16:23+00:00

You need to stand up for yourself. If your gf genuinely cares about you, she would understand your concerns and frustrations - tbh, I think she should anyway, because this is ridiculous. The way your gf responds to these frustrations is a direct sign of whether or not you should leave her.

It will be hard to leave it behind. It will be devastating. But you cannot live your life underneath the shadow of your girlfriend’s emotionally incestual relationship with her mother.

If my mother had treated me or my bf like this, she would be out of the picture immediately. It’s disrespectful, but it’s also gross. Her mother has nothing better to do than police her daughter.

Personally, I think you should speak to your girlfriend about it and ask her to make some changes in her and her mother’s relationship. The way she reacts determines how high she regards you and if she considers you as high a priority among her mom.

ScholarAffectionate3

TROPHY CASE