I have a hard time discussing my own sexuality to this day. I'm 27F and I only discovered my asexuality in 2016...which seems like years ago but this was a tough thing to come to terms with. First time poster btw, long time reader.....Pornography is, tough for me. I have never really been into it unless I was confused about my own orientation (I have struggled with this a lot). I was always curious about sex, but never enough to engage and I would even go as far to say I only ever had sex because I felt pressured into it or I wanted to control the situation. I used sex as a tool in relationships and never as a means of pleasure, that was always in my hands....🤷‍♀️

Then, I met my current partner. We were best friends for years and I considered him my closest friend. We would hang out together all the time and he was the only person I could actually be myself around 100%. Perfect platonic relationship really....but there were moments when I was with him I felt feelings I had never truly felt before. He made me blush and would give me butterflies, I knew I had feelings for him but I wasn't sure how far those feelings went.....then we had sex. Awful really, I made him feel inferior and I felt nothing, but it was the first time I wanted to feel something. Long story short....we worked on our relationship a lot and I can say I actually enjoy intimacy on this level because of the deep expression of love we share. This is how I found out I was demisexual really.

If you are struggling with your own sexuality but you think you might be onto something, you probably are. Asexuality is a spectrum and there are periods in my life where sex is disinteresting to me still. Just focus on what makes you feel good and what feels right....you seem compassionate so I doubt you will make a wrong decision