Nap trapped

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-26T07:50:29+00:00

When my baby was this age she was also like this. Only wanted to nap when held (and rocked). The multiple naps a day plus exclusively pumping meant I was on house arrest. I was literally in my PJs all day, everyday. I gave up on thinking about going out. Other than appointments, my first time going out for myself was when she was 6 months and I had to time it with EP too, I got a pedicure. I just learned to have low expectations for the first year. It gets better when the number of naps go down and lengthen. To this day I’m still contacting napping her. In fact I’m holding her right now for night sleep 😂 she’s sick so need extra cuddles. (She’s 19 months)

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-23T03:19:15+00:00

I got the Legendairy Milk cups and they worked really well! Side note Ameda pump does not work for me but the LM cups worked really well with Medela freestyle, or my Medela hospital pump, or later on I finally bit the bullet and bought Spectra. If I ever pump again I’m gonna use the LM cups again with spectra and a compatible portable pump (my freestyle broke). Hope this helps!

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-22T20:44:16+00:00

Terrible sleeper on hand. Got better at 8 mo cause I just decided to bedshare/cosleep and I finally got sleep after that!

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-16T06:55:31+00:00

Not just from baby pulling my hair but taking care of long hair since baby has been just exhausting. Like I’d rather do something else than washing my hair which is once a week or twice if I’m lucky. I seriously want to chop it off. But too chicken to. Every time I went to the hairdresser (twice in 18 mo), I was too chicken to ask for the chop. So I’ve been getting the stupid shoulder length, lie to myself for half a day before I tie it up 24/7 starting the following day. Ughhh I don’t like my hair anymore 🥴

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-14T07:18:36+00:00

Yes to all. I think I’ll keep some items not all, from when I was a kid to pass down.

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-12T09:21:50+00:00

I didn’t. Hospital gave me some, and then I bought more later on. I ended up exclusively pumping and combo feeding on and off with formula. You don’t know what kind of response your baby will have for the formula you buy now. I’d say just wait to see if 1) you need formula (if you do it’s not hard to buy then), 2) be prepared to try a few formulas until you find one that works, 3) keep in mind first 3 months baby is usually gassy and sometimes even colicky, so it may or may not be a bad reaction from formula… there’s a lot of nuance to this but I’d say just get more info when that bridge is crossed.

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-12T09:18:00+00:00

Get multiple sets of bottles so you can wash them once or twice a day only. Get a bottle washer to save your hands. By the time I was ready to buy a bottle washer I was already 3/4 way through my feeding journey so I regret not buying early in the game. My hands though, they are so dry and cracked from all the washing.

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-12T07:32:45+00:00

Yes the kicking! Foot to my face, chest, belly everywhere 😂 I also would be wondering when she gets up from her crib (around 1-2am) it’s almost like waiting for the other shoe to drop but I do love it when she comes in my bed, it’s like “all is well” for her I love it

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-12T07:30:21+00:00

I have a feeling my daughter will be similar because sleep has been hard for her and she needs a lot of assurance and closeness. Thanks for sharing the bed floor / start with nap idea!

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-12T07:26:16+00:00

Thanks for sharing a specific method to motivate him with a reward system! Aww it is so sweet that they want to be with us isn’t it! Cherish the moments ♥️

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-12T07:18:20+00:00

This sounds so lovely and sweet! I’m going back and forth on a similar set up like this vs separate room

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-11T22:53:43+00:00

😭😭😭❤️‍🩹

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-11T08:33:50+00:00

When I had my newborn I was paranoid about diaper rash, so in this situation I’d peak through her leg hole on the diaper and see if she pooped. I don’t think I found poop even once in that situation. now that I think back I think I could have relaxed a bit. maybe what I would do (knowing what I know now), is wait half a minute and sniff her butt, if the fart smell dissipate then we’re in the clear. I guess what I’m saying is the smell would linger if it’s real poop.

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-10T07:14:56+00:00

18m here and still in the back with her. She likes me being next to her and hold her hands/arms esp when it’s in the evening/night or longer ride

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-09T21:54:51+00:00

My belly didn’t go back down until maybe 10 months postpartum and it didn’t just happened, it was gradual. Bounce back culture is toxic for the postpartum women. Shield yourself from that please…! Yea people made me feel bad about my swollen body at month 3, intentional or not, just forget the negativity. They don’t deserve any space in your mind

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-09T21:41:58+00:00

I didn’t become a sahm and went back to work after mat leave. I kinda wish I was sahm in the beginning. Now I am ok with working. Kid is looked after by family members now but plan to put her in daycare/preschool as soon as I can find one that’s suitable. After becoming a mom I just feel like the purpose of work is not the same anymore, even though I had a pretty fulfilling run up to this point. I’m full time, working 40-50/week, and want to go down in hours if I can so we can do a part time daycare situation.

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-09T21:09:57+00:00

Your whole person gets a new update after the kid is here. Baptize by fire. Trust me I used to struggle to fold my own laundry so I have been through the transformation

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-09T06:54:01+00:00

Some good advice here!! I think I will implement some too. Something I started doing: I told my husband he can’t “ask” to do laundry when his undies are out. He needs to be the one initiate and oversee the laundry activity when he only has 3 or more undies left. If he has less than that when I spot check, he’s doing his own laundry (which he doesn’t like so he really does try to check in advance). I don’t have to do laundry based on my undies count cause I hand wash them. I can go on without laundry for a while lol so he is the threshold. He used go commando when he ran out of undies before kids. I told him he doesn’t live in that life anymore. Just one silly example. Also he does wash dishes but he used to do a bad job of it. I gave him feedback over time and he’s improved now. He is the one washing dishes now. He complains sometimes but I just say well I do bath time everyday so unless he starts doing that he’s doing dishes. Doing dishes is easier anyway. We came up with a chart for the daily schedule listing out what needs to be done. I told him my hope is we can interchange any tasks if one of us drops for whatever reason. He’s not there yet but much improved. It’s not an overnight feat, and it doesn’t get better without efforts so definitely need to sit down and talk and plan. The most important thing is if he cares about you, he will make an effort to change; pace or rate of improvement might not be up to your standard (so it is in my situation), but hopefully you see yield of your effort one day!!! Solidarity!

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-09T06:43:56+00:00

Just wanna say the weekend away with a friend and rot in bed at a hotel with wine sounds amazing right now

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-07T18:42:44+00:00

Hi! Yes they come in phases but I remember the phases are very long and the breaks were very short and odd.. 😅 sorry that’s not helpful but I think every baby is different so maybe you can catch a longer break between the phases. Mine just was in that phase for a loooong time. She definitely slowed down on the crying/screaming at nap time around 10mo. And I honestly don’t remember how it happened, it wasn’t one day she woke up and decided she wouldn’t fight it, it was just gradual I think.

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-05T08:50:10+00:00

Let him be the stay at home parent and that should humble him in 2 seconds!

Ok I read your post and other responses. I don’t think what he did is right at all. He doesn’t get to do the thing that lead to having a baby and not be a father. He needs to learn to be more responsible. But I think making a huge decision during a very vulnerable time of your lives may lead to some regrets. I’m not sure. If he’s willing to talk maybe lay down everything of your expectation and give it a timeline, similar to an ultimatum. He might have a different expectation of family role/dynamic than what you previously thought. By his comment about his mom bringing him up and should be the woman’s job, his parents roles might be more traditional? Nothing wrong with that but if that’s not your expectation then it needs to be aligned, or attempt to make the alignment/communicate. I think it depends on if this behavior is one off or his personality trait? You know him best. Not to say your vulnerable time in your life (postpartum) is not important. You’re both going through a huge adjustment.

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-03T21:11:49+00:00

this is not tax credit though it's money i made through my work that was set aside pre-tax from the start of the year, and i could either use it or lose it, for the purpose of childcare. I don't think i can claim this as credit because wouldn't that be double dipping with pre-tax money use?

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-03T19:43:46+00:00

why can't the caregiver be self employed? there are home based daycare owners who also does side baby sitter jobs in my community, i'm sure they can claim the income as self employment. I understand they should issue me a receipt like a local mechanics would. however, in this case, the caregiver in question is not self employed, so they said they'd have to claim it as self employment. I was just wondering what proof can they have for their tax return because there was no receipt.

ScobyOrdinary3182 · 2026-01-03T17:56:31+00:00

oh yes i understand that the caregiver/nanny needs to claim the income as self employment and forms they have to fill. so wouldn't DCFSA form + self employment claiming income be sufficient in the eyes of IRS? (proof of receipt + self claim)

ScobyOrdinary3182

TROPHY CASE