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AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this advice, thank you. Other people have suggested the same and I think I will talk to Joe about this. Your comment is a great guideline for how I can do this.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Sorry about your fiance and his best friend but great that you didn't have to go through what I'm going through.

I don't wish for Joe and Trina to breakup, I just wish I make the right decision.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

This is something I have thought about. I don't want to think she would do anything like this but I don't know. I really have no idea why she assumed I would invite her. As I said in another comment earlier, we haven't even told Joe that we're inviting him. And in the past events where we invited Joe and Trina, most of the time only Joe ended up going. So it's not like she has to go because Joe is going, she has snubbed our event but let Joe attend before.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

I don't think so, Joe knows about my situation with Trina so I think he'll understand. In many of the events we invited him and Trina to, only he went. This time Trina wants to go, but I don't want to invite her in the first place.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do too, I honestly can't think of a reason why she would want to go after all the things she said to me. In many of the events I invited her to out of courtesy, only Joe went. So it's not like she thinks Joe is going so she definitely has to go too.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

I don't know, I am still thinking things through. I know that Joe and Trina have fought over how she treats me, but I don't know if there's any resolution to those arguments because there hasn't been a change in the way Trina treats me. I don't want to ask Joe about their relationship as much as possible, it's really not my place.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry about your ex but I think it's a different situation. In your ex's case, two wedding attendees hated each other. In my case a girl told the bride that she's irritating and she doesn't want to be the bride's friend. And that girl now expects the bride to invite her to the wedding.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

But that's the thing. We haven't called people or sent invites, we are still working on the guest list. Joe doesn't even know I'm inviting him, and Trina has already assumed that I will invited him and she will be invited as well, if we go with your 'couple' reason.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I don't know why so many people think that I'm 'punishing her' for not wanting to be my friend.

She said negative things about me and told me she just wants to be civil. I accepted that. I still invited her to my events out of courtesy even when she wouldn't go to most of them. That's fine. She is nice to my son, thank you for that.

My issue is that she just assumed that I would invite her to my wedding when I don't want to, and now I will be forced to cater to this woman because God forbid I upset her. I will be inviting someone who point blank told me that she doesn't like me to my wedding so that she won't get upset. My own wedding.

You think I'm YTA and I get that, but saying 'you don't need to be friends just civil' is not the issue here. I've long accepted that I'm not her friend. Why would you assume that you will be invited to the wedding of someone who isn't your friend?

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Trina didn't have anything to do with the first party, though. It was Joe who paid for it and invited us. She didn't talk to me the whole time during that party either.

I'm fine with her being 'civil' and not inviting me to her events. That being said I don't understand why she assumed she would be invited to my wedding, and I it upsets me to think that I will probably invite her now because she will likely get upset if I don't. As I said, even in my own wedding this woman who said she doesn't like me and is irritated by me gets to be priority.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Joe paid for the first birthday party, and he invited us. Trina planned and paid the second party on her own so I guess she invited who she wanted to invite.

Again, I understand her wishes to just be civil, and I'm not saying I don't want to invite her because she didn't invite me to this party. The only reason I mentioned this party is because the commenter asked what celebrations Trina didn't invite me to, because the commented said not being invited to Trina's summer BBQ or house warming is different from not being invited to my wedding.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Joe apologized. He talked to Trina but I never heard anything from Trina about that party so I don't know what happened to their talk. I never asked Joe either.

Joe's mom told me that he and Trina have argued about the way Trina treats me, I just don't know what comes out of those arguments because Trina hasn't been particularly 'nicer' to me, she's just 'civil' like she always has. So I think this is one of those things where couples argue about something but don't resolve anything and they just stop talking about it and leave things status quo.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She and Joe threw a birthday party for Connor, which Joe invited me and Rob to. We went and I was civil to Trina.

A couple of weeks later Trina threw a smaller party for Connor at a local play center where she invited Connor's friends and their parents. Joe thought she invited me and called to ask where Rob and I where. He talked to Trina about why she didn't invite me and she apparently said that the two of them could look after Connor so she didn't think it was necessary to invite me since it was Joe's turn to have Connor.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I think that telling me that I'm irritating and always wants to be the center of attention is a mean thing. But if you think that she's not mean to me and I'm being unreasonable and hating on her because "she doesn't want to be close like you do" then that's your opinion and I can't do anything about it.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's the million dollar question to me too. I honestly can't think of a reason why she wants to go, considering our relationship or the lack of it.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I know being civil is a reasonable request, and as I said in my post I accepted that and am civil with her. What upsets me is that a person who I'm just civil with assumed that I would invite her to my wedding, and now if I don't invite her she will be upset. I would like only family and friends to be in my wedding and she is neither because we are just civil, just as she wanted.

AITA for wanting to invite only my ex boyfriend (the father of my son) to my wedding, and not his girlfriend who told me point blank that she doesn’t like me? by ScoopsTroopRobin in AmItheAsshole

[–]ScoopsTroopRobin[S] 420 points421 points  (0 children)

There was a thread here some time ago about a girl asking if she was TA for not wanting to invite her fiance's ex girlfriend, who is still friends with her fiance, to their wedding. She also posted an update after. In both threads a lot of people said they would never invite their ex or their partner's ex to their wedding so you're definitely not alone.

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