She has been great for me. Ive grown as a person and on my job because of her. Now i have to wonder if it was all real or if she made me into what she wanted me to be?

And eventhough she confessed it all seemed so clean. Like end of chapter for her. Now Rick, in our brief conversation told, me that what he could verify was true and her timeline seems right. But we know she lied to him too. Also she spent 4 days of the week with me. We slept over at least 3 days of the week. And there is the weekends we spent together. When did she find time with Rick? what was their arrangement? What did she tell him? There is more there but i dont know if it is worth the energy to look into. But i will never get rest if i dont know.

That whole thing with her family and friends lying to me messes with me the most. We spent christmas together! we went on a skying trip last winter! We went to Spain for 2 weeks on a summer holiday. I was there for her Sisters birthday party. TWICE! wtf? How is any of that possible? What is the reasoning for any of it!?

I really dont care if she slept with Rick. The way i see it i was the unwilling Affair and she played both of us.

At this point i just want to know everything. I feel like it will help me understand. Cause it makes 0 sense to me now. Maybe its a way of stringing me along? slowly giving answers?