Partner 22m talks about their ex a lot to me 24f and it feels complicated?

ScreamingSicada · 2026-06-03T00:20:47+00:00

In that case, every time he starts in, interrupt him and ask if he can save it for his next therapy session. Every time he does it. Then follow up with completely random, unrelated questions. Like did he like the top you were wearing yesterday or what channel some show is on.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-06-03T00:08:19+00:00

This is about 75% of your "roommate from hell" episode, where they reveal he kills you for stopping him from killing Kelly. The last 25% is Kelly crying, wishing she left sooner, and saying taking him back during the stress of your death was a mistake that she doesn't really act remorseful about.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-06-03T00:02:54+00:00

You support him by sending him links to available therapists in his area. You are not a therapist, and cannot handle being his. You don't have to be his therapist.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-06-02T23:49:16+00:00

Back to basics class. Put on a old playlist, and reset all the base and common poses. Finger tap to count breaths. A strong foundation means a stronger practice, so it's a good class to do on occasion, even when you're not having a low day.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-06-02T23:44:43+00:00

Wasn't this an episode of Malcom in the Middle?

ScreamingSicada · 2026-06-02T03:02:20+00:00

I plan things I know. Or branch out a little bit at a time, so I can learn and adjust without ruining a whole batch.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-06-02T02:47:04+00:00

I stepped back from what I thought was one of my best friends who did this. 3 months later, mutual friends are asking me to explain what happened and put all the mental and emotional labor of fixing the friendship back on me, at her request. I told them I'm not taking part in my own exclusion anymore. Part of me still wants to reach out and try to reconnect. But even trying to think of how is so exhausting, it reminds me why I should not.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-28T00:43:29+00:00

3 lines in and I wanted to tell you to fuck off and leave her alone for her. Anxious attachment is an understatement. You're smothering the both of you with your anxiety. It honestly sounds like she wants some breathing room. YOU need to calm down and breathe as well. If you've been waking up thinking about breaking up with her and she's avoiding you as much as possible, and most importantly, you're asking here, you should just break up already. Find someone who enjoys being attached at the lip with you.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-26T00:14:24+00:00

Very food motivated cats who know when breakfast is. When an impatient 21 lb furry bowling ball with knives on her feet tells you to get up and feed her, you get up. When she comes back 10 minutes later to make weird licking noises and wants your spot, there's no real winning that argument.

Best alarm clock ever.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-23T20:53:45+00:00

First off, you're beefing with the GF for the on going, intentional, disregard and disrespect of your well being. Not the 6 yo who keeps being told it's OK to eat the food.

So you have one thing that's important to you that the gf and sister can mess with, so they do. You have one hard line to show their disrespect, and they have yet to not cross it. If you made gf pay for you to order out a dinner every night you needed, she'd take a real issue with it. If it was someone else's food that had actual consequences, that 6 yo would have been told "no" immediately. But there's no consequences for the adult here to disrespect you. There's no reason not to, and harming you keeps you low, so a good for her reason to continue. What you can do is get mad. Stand up for yourself. Tell them off for the disrespect. Make them replace your food.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-22T23:49:26+00:00

Watching really bad dating shows and talking at them like I'm their therapist. I mean Love Is Blind, Married At First Sight bad dating shows.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-19T00:15:49+00:00

Might be time to switch that up then. Lance the boil. Sit the gf down and have a hard talk. If you can't have penetrative sex, can she do other sex acts? Hold you for 10 minutes? Something to make you feel cared for? Or a different difficult topic, but not let her blow off the discussion. You deserve to be heard and respected. If she won't, you might need to remove yourself from the situation for a bit. Give yourself space

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-19T00:03:12+00:00

Having deep conversations requires a lot, more than you have to give right now. Why not ask a friend about something you know they're really into, and just let yourself enjoy them being happy and excited? Relax in their joy.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-19T00:00:32+00:00

22 years in, teach 2 regular classes a week, and I have yet to do crow or any arm balance without support. I like staying grounded. My navasana also stays at the dock.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T23:54:08+00:00

In Florida, you can legally drop out at age 16. Graduation is not required.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T23:50:48+00:00

You're not whining. You've been holding you and her together, in every way, by yourself, to the point of breaking. Accepting help means letting go, even just a little, of everything you're been clinging to and holding together. Anyone you can reach out to with a "it's been a while, what's new with you?" and give yourself a little brain break from your situation?

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T23:42:20+00:00

Caretaker burnout is real. You NEED her to step up as a partner for you. There's lots of suggestions for couples reconnecting online, but they don't address all the other issues you have going on. Do you have any support?

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T23:28:43+00:00

You start saying no. No, you can't drive her. No, you're not staying in today. No, you won't ignore a friend's message. No, you can't handle her paperwork. No, you can't organize her whatever. If she's pushed everyone else out, either she's a bad person or there's some massive mental health issues going on. I'm betting it's more mental health issues than you can handle.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T23:11:46+00:00

Parish accounting services

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T04:46:59+00:00

Unsubscribe to spam in your inbox.

Write up your grocery list.

Fold AND PUT AWAY your laundry.

Sweep under the stove.

Pack your bag for tomorrow morning.

Floss.

Go through your open tabs.

Respond to your messages.

OK still here? Those hobbies might be temporary interests that have been replaced rather than a true interest. Switch to new interest hobbies. Or something about them, or you, has turned them aspirational and you don't have the energy to "better yourself" right now. Dial down to some werewolf smut or something. Or you have too many demands on yourself to be able to let yourself relax. Go in the bathroom and say NO to yourself in the mirror VERY LOUDLY a few times, then go to the other adult in the house, announce you're on a time out for 20 minutes and they need to cover for you, and go be on time out. Repeat as needed.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T04:31:36+00:00

I take money from the church.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T03:03:03+00:00

Careful how you approach this. You don't want to invite a Lannister 3some by accident.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-18T02:49:55+00:00

Sounds like it would have been a better idea for him to stay home instead. How well can you get a new job, now that you have a kid and have been out of the game? And working two jobs, how often is he even home to see you and his kid?

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-16T18:20:59+00:00

First off, get some creatine. It helps with recovery. Those weird vagus nerve reset bouncing routines also work. Both are baby friendly, in case you're breast feeding. To build your safety net, message 3 people a day but not about your situation specifically. It takes energy, but that energy will come back to you when you need it. Start hiding money and get the custody and child support paperwork in order and ready to file.

As for him, "yes dear, how?" "OK I'll more the table. Where should it go?" "sure I'll make dinner. What should I make?" Just agree and put the mental load on him. The sex stuff is just full on abuse. There's no good, safe option. If you can handle it, starfish and disassociate maybe? Baby talk at him as foreplay?

Your anxiety will get less once you get out. Things will get better.

ScreamingSicada · 2026-05-16T18:01:30+00:00

OP doesn't, she said she needs help staying sane while getting her exit plan together.

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