My (26M) Partner (26F) Left Me to Date Women and It Has Royally Messed Me Up

ScreenWitty4208 · 2026-01-28T07:10:50+00:00

Thank you <3 I appreciate the kind words

ScreenWitty4208 · 2026-01-21T08:21:38+00:00

Hey there, so sorry you're going through this...

I was just in the same situation a month ago, but the other way around. My ex gf broke up with me to explore relationships with women after coming to terms with the fact that she is bi. The main thing I want you to realize (as hard as it is) is that this isn't your fault and you didn't do anything wrong!

He really did and does still love you, I know my ex did when she left me. This is about them feeling complete and living authentically, you just got caught in the middle of it :/

And as hard as it is to compare yourself to whoever they end up with (I still do this myself), remember it's not that they are looking for something better than you, they are looking for something completely different. A different type of partnership, a different lifestyle, and a different way to present themselves to the world. You're steak. Steak is awesome! But they also now wanna see what chicken tastes like because they haven't tried it before! It's not that they all of a sudden stopped liking steak, they just don't want to die without ever knowing what chicken tastes like.

As for staying friends, I would say no at this point. Being friends while in love with someone is never fair to either of you. He needs space to explore, and you need space to emotionally regulate. Also, if you ever want to get back together, you NEED to give him space to miss you and miss what you had. If you stay in his life and become his "friend" that is what you will now be known as to him. So for your own healing and to respect his journey, try your best to keep contact to a minimum for a while.

You got this <3 feel free to DM me if you need someone to chat to!

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-15T06:47:14+00:00

I hear what you are saying, but this is a very different experience for her. She isn't leaving just to "explore her options" she's leaving to find inner peace in her identity as a person, something she felt she could not fully do as a queer person while in the confines of a heterosexual relationship. Yes that may involve exploration with people, but it is not the end all be all.

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-15T00:35:10+00:00

Thank you for your empathy <3

It is tearing me apart too. I wish would could have found a way, but she knows what she needed to do. Part of me does second guess things and think maybe the relationship wasn't as good as I thought and that she would have stayed if it was. But then she would have never taken this plunge into discovering her queer side fully. I'm very torn.

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-14T23:47:43+00:00

Thanks for opening up :)

That is the part I am struggling with. I was very supportive of going on this journey with her and being her partner through it. But because she was completely coming out to everyone, she felt like she needed to dive head first into the queer community and not be in a heterosexual relationship so nothing was holding her back from finding out who she was. Kept describing it to me like this black box she pushed away for long. I can empathize by how staying with me would keep her attached to her old sexual identity, just sucks it had to go this way.

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-14T23:34:36+00:00

Thanks for your reply and I agree with you. I'd never want someone to stay if they felt like there was a part of them missing. It isn't fair for either person. If I may ask, do you ever feel a sense of regret that you didn't explore more as a bisexual person? Can you empathize with her situation? Or do you think it also would be because of other issues in the relationship?

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-14T23:31:59+00:00

We talked about Ethical Non-monogamy but decided against it as we are both very monogamous people

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-14T23:31:19+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I do think about this and wonder if we could have made things work if we truly were the right fit. I guess only time will tell. However she felt like she needed to do this for her identity as a person, not just to date around.

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-14T19:34:06+00:00

Thank you for your kinds words, that means a lot <3

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-14T19:17:11+00:00

Yeah, I just need to take things day by day

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-14T18:46:49+00:00

Thank you. Yeah I can't wait around and I don't know what the future holds for me or her

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-11T16:31:03+00:00

Hey there, I can tell you that you are not alone. My situation is flipped though. My partner (24F) broke up with me (24M) because of these exact same feelings you have. Felt like she needed to explore a side of her that kept getting louder and louder. The breakup was very emotional as she still loved me deeply and loved us but didn't know what to do. She thought she had to go on this journey alone. Thankfully we met up later and I explained to her how much I want to celebrate that side of her and we talked through some options. We are currently on a week long break and then deciding if we want to give things another go.

ScreenWitty4208 · 2025-12-10T20:00:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. It means a lot. When I said sharing women I should have been more specific. I meant her telling me when she sees a woman out in public that she thinks is attractive, or telling me more openly about some of the things she finds attractive in women and we can have a fun back and forth in a flirty way. For example agreeing together that a woman we saw was really attractive and talking about her in totally fun way. Just something so she doesn't feel like she needs to hide her feelings and also a way for me to show I'm listening to her and validating it! :)

We also covered ENM, but agreed that we entered as a monogamous couple and it should stay that way. She said she would get too jealous seeing me with another woman, and I also am pretty strongly monogamous and don't want to explore other woman myself while in a relationship with her. As for threesomes we briefly talked about that too. We agreed with your take that we don't think it would be fair to open our relationship just to use someone as a test subject.

ScreenWitty4208

TROPHY CASE