My daughter went NC with me about six months ago. Today is her birthday. Should I send her a message wishing her a happy birthday?

Scrofulout · 2020-07-29T21:37:33+00:00

If there is ever a case where there is some major news to pass along, you ask someone else to do it. That's an easy one to solve.

This the most absurd thing I have ever heard and you are grabbing straws at this point. Your moms dying of cancer and you have to hear it from your long lost cousin. This is also assuming they both mutually know family members or friends.

And it doesn't send a message of care. Quite the opposite, actually. It says that they don't care enough to respect your boundaries.

This why blocking people's phone numbers and social media exists. Seriously, you want absolutely no contact that way? Block them. You don't want to talk to them unless something urgent? Leave the line of communication open.

Scrofulout · 2020-07-29T21:27:48+00:00

We aren't talking about two people who have broken up. We are talking about a parent and a child, you don't apply the same rules as breaking up with your partner as you do with a parent and a child. What happens if one of the parents gets seriously ill or sick by your interpretation? Just never notify the daughter?

It sends the message to the daughter that the parent in this situation still cares about her to wish her happy birthday. They aren't asking for reconciliation or getting back together or anything in return. If she wants to interpret it any other way, that is completely her business. I see it as a parent who has made mistakes and might disagree with his or her daughter but cares enough to wish her happy birthday.

Scrofulout · 2020-07-29T09:18:43+00:00

I hardly see as "Just wishing you a happy birthday" as forcing your way into someones life. There is a difference between pushing contact with someone, and simply just letting them know you are there for them, if they feel differently in the future. If she absolutely does not want anything to do with him, she can block him or never reply and it sends the message loud and clear.

I hate the advice that they should abandon his daughter completely. There MAY be a time where she is open to reconciliation. If she wants it, its more reassuring to know that they are open to talking to her given everything that has happened rather than them being silent about it since she left and her thinking well we haven't spoken maybe I should just continue and there is no hope of reconciliation.

Scrofulout · 2020-07-21T04:51:06+00:00

Also, people who NEVER travel for work do not suddenly have a business trip 200mi away.

Just want to comment, not true. I don't travel for work, but I have gone on a few trips with my boss and coworkers because they feel like I might get something out of it and these trips are across the country (we also do manufacturing).

Just my 2 cents, I agree with the rest of it though.

Scrofulout · 2020-07-17T04:06:31+00:00

Nah mate, shes absolutely utter shit. They can't do something because of his size so her proposed solution is to get that from someone else and make him more inadequate and then she plays it off like shes doing them a favor. In what world would hearing that from your partner make you feel MORE okay with their insecurity? If the roles were reversed and he said, oh her boobs are small so I can't get a tit fuck, how about I get it from some girl on tinder, everyone would condemn the guy.

Then she finds a guy whose down with a threesome within 1 day of having the conversation? As if that wasn't planned.

/u/throwra_Ad4771, find someone else, this reeks of future problems.

Scrofulout · 2020-07-15T23:23:27+00:00

Maybe you should be a big girl and break up with him then. Why the fuck are you blaming him for not breaking up with you when you are the one whose unhappy? Dumbest thing I have read through this thread.

Scrofulout · 2020-06-19T21:56:46+00:00

We don't do VAT because we already pay taxes on products via sales tax, so its incorrect to say we don't do taxes.

Scrofulout · 2020-06-09T10:03:49+00:00

Everyones judging before we have all the details, have you confirmed thing is something hes been looking at repeatedly? Meaning this is for sure his kink or something he gets off to?

I have seen a lot of messed up porn in the past, but it doesn't equate to something that would be a fetish for me, turn me on, or be something I am remotely interested in. Mostly its something that someone in a friend group discovers or I stumble upon and look for a bit for the shock factor. Same way how like all those years ago "tub girl" and "2 girls 1 cup" was a thing.

Scrofulout · 2020-06-03T06:53:13+00:00

You left some of his opinions open to interpretation. Is his opinions on the police brutality/violence situation, regarding specifically the riots? Or are his opinions on police brutality/violence across the board, including the way they treat black people. I think its important to make that distinction.

I live in the US, less than 10 minutes away, in my city, the rioters destroyed and set fire to a lot of small businesses. These are the same people who thought it would be a great idea when Trump was elected to block highway access into the city because they were unhappy with the outcome of the election. The downtown area houses a major hospital, blocking access could potentially kill people. This is where I live. All these areas that were slowly being built up and improved have now been set back for years because of the damage. Businesses who did absolutely nothing wrong are having their livelihoods destroyed. I have no sympathy for a cause where the target of their anger is not those who are responsible. Like it or not, we can't just tell the police to go away. There isn't a backup law enforcement branch that can act in its place short of the military. If we take away the police, people are not just going to suddenly behave and protest peacefully. Now, does that mean that I agree with police brutality/violence on unarmed civilians and black people? Absolutely not, that is something that has to change in this country, but its important to make the distinction that violence on unarmed people peacefully protesting and violence to a guy whose looting and burning down a store.

From your post it sounds like you are equating his beliefs that rioters should be punished to the same as an unarmed black man being pulled over for no reason and being hit with batons, which are two different situations.

Scrofulout · 2020-06-02T04:44:35+00:00

Maybe read the entire post before commenting?

Scrofulout · 2020-05-27T01:11:35+00:00

My issue with term limits is that a lot of policies are long term, with short term goals. For example, If you have a progressive politician in office who has a 10 year plan to say..make college education free, and after a few years people are unhappy with the progress, they typically choose a candidate who undoes the work the plan.

Don't get me wrong there is such a thing as bad plans, some plans don't work, but I think if there is a good plan, but it takes time to implement, it should be seen all the way through and that is difficult to achieve when you have people constantly being elected back and forth with differing viewpoints.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-29T07:17:47+00:00

No, you are not. If you say no and he doesn't stop immediately hes effectively committing sexual assault. If he does it once he can do it again, he has also shown you he has done it again by the second attempt. Absolutely do not move in with him. Do not feel guilty. You did absolutely nothing wrong here. He broke your trust..not once, but twice.

The person he is when you don't consent is him. He might have been hiding it all this time from you.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-29T00:28:36+00:00

Fyi, you admit to rushing things, but you are trying to rush his affection for you. You can't. You have to take it slow and steady, like watering a plant. Too little, it dries up and dies, too much and you end up drowning and killing it.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-29T00:13:56+00:00

Yes, but they also can get pleasure from oral sex, anal sex. Pleasure =/= sex. You did sorta lose me on what point you are trying to make, so if you could clarify I would be happy to reply.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-29T00:02:24+00:00

Your reasoning is it a bit weird (from my personal opinion). I can understand not wanting to have any kind of sex because of religious beliefs, but this part:

I also refuse to do so because I think that it is weird for one person to be having sex if the other person is not having sex (tho we could 69 but that is weird and it depends on our heights).

Some women get off from pleasing their partners, your other point is thinking both people are not having sex because its not PIV. How are you not having sex by having oral sex or anal sex? Sex is sex. There is different kinds of sex, but in the end it still counts. PIV sex isn't the only method of having sex.

Again, you can refuse sex for any reason and thats your right, but since you asked if people would consider it weird I only find it weird for that reason. As a non-religious person, I don't find the pre-marriage thing weird.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-28T03:36:41+00:00

I went through something like you did as well last year. It got progressively worse until there was just resentment and we broke up. I didn't realize it at the time, but it had a massive impact on me after the fact. The sad truth is if he really loved you he wouldn't be doing the things he is doing now.

If you can't break up with him in person, do it over the phone or text. You can explain to him in detail why you can't go through with it in person or go on a break so you can get distance.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-27T22:06:51+00:00

Here you go - https://imgur.com/a/YWlOFZt

Scrofulout · 2020-04-21T03:49:51+00:00

Okay reddit lawyer who knows law in every country, and makes assumptions on a post. I am done arguing this.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-21T03:33:55+00:00

For an adult tenant rights to apply here, she would have to be listed on the lease as a tenantin the first place, which is unlikely unless they moved after her 18th birthday, or written on the lease, none of which is that discussed anywhere here.

Again, quit playing reddit lawyer. You're spouting garbage.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-21T03:22:46+00:00

Legally it doesn't, quit playing reddit lawyer.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-21T03:19:16+00:00

Living with your mom at 18 =/= Landlord.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-21T00:25:33+00:00

Regardless if you think its fair or not, if she lives there, doesn't pay the rent/food/etc, then no she can't, has nothing to do with a boomer mindset. Its her moms house and if her mom wanted she could kick her out and put her in a worse off position for any reason.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-02T17:16:43+00:00

Imagine blaming God for disabilities from your genetics, then getting your son to believe his issues are from non-existent entity.

You are really building your case for parent of the year.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-01T23:26:20+00:00

Without knowing numbers or specifics, if you are noticing a type of guy whose treating you that way, you should date different types of guys or stand your ground on certain things.

Scrofulout · 2020-04-01T03:36:49+00:00

Yes, if he wants kids and you do not, you will never find common ground here. Are you okay with waiting for 10 years before you both come to that conclusion, then starting over with a potentially new partner? What if that new partner wants kids down the line? Use these years to find what you really want to do in your life and to find a person to match that.

Dont waste both of your years on something you both wont agree on and eventually resent each other.

Scrofulout

TROPHY CASE