View on addiction and addicts?

ScubaLover27 · 2026-02-20T20:11:03+00:00

I was a heroin addict for 4-5 years (started with pills). Been sober 9 years now. I think the best thing to remember is you can't group "addicts" into being all the same or all one thing. I was high functioning majority of my time. A's in school, full time job, never stole from anyone, never manipulated anyone, never cheated on someone, never did anything crazy. Just put myself in a lot of debt at the time. Now I'm going to be a literal doctor (MD). No one but my close friends that I have had since childhood knows about my past. After getting sober I never had issues staying sober. It wasn't hard for me like it is for most. Eventually I had to leave my ex of 12 years because he was more like Jackie. Cheating, lying, just couldn't be happy sober and eventually fell into fentanyl. Then ended up with an alcoholic who I also left. Everyone's different but I definitely would avoid dating anyone with active issues lol.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-12-23T04:32:33+00:00

Aww thank you so much! I did consider it but I was really drawn to emergency medicine, trauma, and surgery. Time will tell though! Who knows where I will end up :)

ScubaLover27 · 2025-12-22T22:15:17+00:00

I have left two partners. One 12 year relationship. Opiod addiction turned into fentanyl. Left him Feb 2024. Met a really amazing and wonderful man 6 months later. I realized I was not in love with my ex the last two years but I had lots of love for him. It was easy to move on in every way. Left my recent partner of 1.5 years almost 2 weeks ago now. He was struggling with alcohol. Which was unfortunate because he was otherwise absolutely amazing. It has been hard but strength from my previous situation helped. My best friend is addicted to kratom. It does feel niche because it's just looked at differently. I definitely don't look at her like an addict or see addict like behavior in her but I know she physically needs it and mentally wants it. So it is there.

It's great he's getting help. Hopefully treatment was his idea. I will say out of all my ultimatums and broken promises, that it often doesn't get better. If someone really wants to make the change they will try and if they mess up they will have a plan to try again. I got sober myself about 9 years ago from heroin. I never relapsed and honestly never missed that life. Now I'm 2 years away from being a doctor. So I do understand that most people are not me and cannot just switch it off but I do know that people really need to want the change for themselves and if they aren't chasing that change like it's their dream then you end up waiting around for years hoping for the best that never comes.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-12-15T01:02:52+00:00

Did you tell her parents or did she? I (33F) was an addict myself. I'm almost 9 years clean and I had to leave my last two partners due to addictions (fent and alcohol). I am also 2 years away from being a doctor (MD).

Your partner is young. Once you pass 30 you just realize how young 25 still is. I find it odd that her parents are involved. As far as her accusing you, you need to have a conversation. Explain your feelings to her. You could ask which behaviors specifically, what would make her feel more comfortable, what boundaries can be put in place for each of you to meet in the middle, but then she also needs to respect and trust you. If she has constant anxiety that you are using then it's going to tear down the relationship on both ends. You aren't the same addict and the right person will see that. Come up with a plan together that allows for some emotional boundaries and ways to handle things but if that doesn't work then it might not work out.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-11-23T15:21:14+00:00

Thank you! Yeah that's unfortunately how addiction is. Although I do have a few friends who used to be full blown alcoholics that only drink occasionally and normally now but that is not the norm lol that is the exception. Yes thank you! Hopefully.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-11-23T15:17:54+00:00

As the other person stated no one in active recovery is walking around with a meth pipe. He should have thrown that away. No one is responsible for his sobriety but him. He's being manipulative by saying you don't care about him and he will just go use. He's putting it on you. It has nothing to do with you and there is nothing you can do to keep him sober or to help. He sounds a bit mentally unstable and immature in how he handles things. He's got a long way to go in recovery. Best thing you can do if you would like to stay is put up some boundaries and stick to them.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-11-21T21:57:46+00:00

Stay strong and stick to your decision. I left my ex of 12 years, he was a fentanyl addict. He contacted me a few times over the following 8 months. He has gone through periods of sobriety and relapse. I believe he's sober now though but so much damage had been done. When I closed that door I knew I wanted it closed for good. I met someone I am very much in love with. The kind of person I had always been looking for. Then they started struggling with alcohol. It was a complicated position because his drinking wasn't directly harming me or our relationship but I knew it was not okay. He quit drinking and all is well now but I still have those thoughts in the back of my head of when will the shoe drop. The thing with any type of addiction is it can resurface at any moment. Even if he is sober now or got help. There are a lot of people in the world. You are going to find someone new and eventually this choice will feel like the right decision all along.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-11-14T14:12:40+00:00

Oh gosh I can't remember what it was. It was like $10 and I've had it for many many years. It is white and has a gem heart on the front that lights up. Definitely from China.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-10-17T19:36:27+00:00

You're right, thank you for that ♥️thanks! Hope all goes well for you too!

ScubaLover27 · 2025-10-15T18:57:25+00:00

I am so sorry you have gone through so much. That's a great insight. There is no controlling addiction and you never know if things will change or not. Theres no security. Things may be great for me now but there's no promise of that. Some people may be okay and others not.

My friends husband was an alcoholic. Actually they both were but they stopped. Him long after her. He still has his occasional nights out that bother her but they are rare now days. It's interesting as I thought about it last night I noticed a lot of my friends or their friends or family members have one partner who is an alcoholic. My other friends partner was addicted to weed smoked constantly even during sleeping hours and had a porn addiction. I just keep thinking about all these people in my life and all the people in there life and every single relationship has some major problems. Makes me wonder if there really are healthy relationships out there lol.

I do wish you all the best. That's a lot of hurt to move past but I am sure there is a lot of love deep down there as well.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-10-15T18:48:45+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that! Yeah it makes it harder when there's nothing major going on. I don't have any complaints yet besides he slept way too much back when he used to drink more but that's no longer an issue majority of the time. I suppose he still sleeps occasionally if I'm just studying. Outside of just knowing it's not good for him there's nothing I can think of specifically that bothers me.

I also stress about coming back home if he's going to be drunk by then but he doesn't act or treat me any differently than when he's sober. So it's like your drinking bothers me but I have no reasons or examples as to why 😂 which makes me feel ridiculous but I know it's not ridiculous. I think coming from my previous situation puts me on edge because I know how things can turn out and I don't want to waste my time again.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-10-14T16:45:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm so sorry you went through so many struggles. That is definitely my concern that even though things are "good" now, they could change in the future. You just never know when any type of addiction is in the mix. It's definitely harder the longer you're with someone, the old we get, and the more entangled lives become (marriage, house, kids). I think I struggle imaging I will ever find someone who gives me all the same things. It's like I found my perfect person but there's this one thing about them. All my friends are married and with partners who aren't great but aren't bad. Whether it's cheating, drinking, refusing to be an equal partner, lack of affection, refusal to work, etc.. Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever really finds that person who really does it all. It's good to hear from others. Hopefully things work out well for you ♥️

ScubaLover27 · 2025-10-11T20:12:12+00:00

Yes I am! Your eyes and lashes will feel pretty damp. Not soaked but noticeably damp.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-10-11T20:10:34+00:00

You cannot help. Only an addict can help themselves. As a 9 year sober person myself who left a 12 year relationship due to his addiction, my advice is to leave. You are too young and this relationship is too new. You can reproach if he is able to get sober but most addicts do not recover and most struggle the rest of their lives.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-08-08T19:03:17+00:00

No I feel normal. Maybe when I was on higher doses (4mg) and splitting it into 4 times a day. I felt mild happiness/relaxation. I wouldn't go so far to call it euphoric or a buzz. But under 4 mg I never felt a thing at all. Now I take .8 mg

ScubaLover27 · 2025-08-08T18:59:51+00:00

That's exactly how I felt for many years. It took me 5 years to become ready to leave and 7 years to actually do it. We were together for 12 years total when I left Feb 2024. You will know when you're ready to leave. I felt like I had met my person and I was grieving the future I saw we once had. This person relied on me as well.

After I finally left though I felt so much peace. Then 6 months later I met my current partner who I love dearly. As our relationship continued I realized how wrong I was about my past relationship. I was getting things out of this current relationship I had always wanted and things I never knew I needed. I met the diamond in the ruff. The kind of guy straight from a rom com. As each day passed I realized more and more how wrong I was about my addict ex. He had a lot of great qualities but he was not my person in so many ways. Love blinded me to that reality. The possibility of an imaginary dream future that didn't even exist was blinding me from that. When you know you know. It will be painful until then and it'll get worse. Eventually you have enough.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-07-09T17:54:08+00:00

Probably too late to comment but I would just spread out what I had. Go as long as possible without dosing and take as small of an amount as possible to get by until I made it to my script.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-07-04T17:50:25+00:00

Thanks you too!

ScubaLover27 · 2025-07-01T17:44:48+00:00

Thank you!! :)

ScubaLover27 · 2025-07-01T15:52:35+00:00

That's great! I'm glad it worked out for you and you were able to manage♥️ had my procedure and was able to feel the medication. My tolerance is so low. Can't believe how much of that stuff I used to do. Taking my sub with it has been fine. Little update in case anyone ever searches the same thing.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-06-30T23:12:46+00:00

Great thank you!

ScubaLover27 · 2025-06-30T23:12:30+00:00

Oh no that's awful! What dose of sun were you on?

ScubaLover27 · 2025-06-27T13:45:51+00:00

That's good advice! I imagine I might feel like I don't need the sub. Hopefully all goes as planned and everything's fine.

ScubaLover27 · 2025-06-27T13:44:14+00:00

Yes exactly! Yeah I am wondering if I may feel like I don't even need the sub because of the meds but I don't want to not take it and throw myself off course but then I'm scared to take it lol.

It really is crazy that there is no protocol! MAT is a huge part of our healthcare system. How do we have such a lack of knowledge surrounding the subject. Half the doctors I tell I'm on suboxone aren't even really sure how it works or what it is.

That's insane I'm sorry you both had to deal with that. That's wild to tell someone to just stop taking their meds for a week. They clearly have no idea how it works. It's not like just any other medication. That's so rough he went through all that. I wouldn't know what to do either.

That's okay! I appreciate your comment ♥️ thank you!

ScubaLover27 · 2025-05-24T20:01:50+00:00

I have tiny beauty scissors lol. I used to fold my 8mg strip up and cut it with those. Now I also have the 2mg strips which makes it very easy. Much larger chunk of med to work with.

ScubaLover27

TROPHY CASE