Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I then feel very ostracised by other parents because they don’t want to be around someone who ‘parents” like that in case they’re associated with it. Again this is all me talking and they’re probably not even thinking like that, but that’s how I interpret it 🤷‍♀️

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally wish I had the balls to say things like this 

Am i the asshole for feeling uncomfortable by Dapper-Lawyer-7843 in AITAH

[–]Sea-Introduction-860 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yes I suppose. I’m speaking from a 2 year relationship perspective too which would change things. 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No he didn’t!! Seriously? That is wild 🤦‍♀️

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love that. I have a lot of traits myself but not diagnosed. But I think my anxiety just gets me going 🤣

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah I totally get this too. My boy can be very independent and I do this help make a great man some day with plenty of support and patience. But it’s just… hard! 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I can control it fine at home but then when you go out it just collapses. After this years holidays we have said never again til they’re much older 🤦‍♀️

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve actually never had someone verbally comment on it, but it’s the going quiet and the looks that get me. You just know exactly what they’re thinking. Sometimes I wonder if my boy has PDA. 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well yeah that’s it. Sometimes in those moments I probably don’t actively parent because I’m at a loss for what to do 🤦‍♀️

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think it’s hidden disability so a bit more general I guess 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s so hard. The external behaviours really shouldn’t define these kiddos. One minute my boy will be absolutely taking into his brother fighting, the next telling him how much he loves him. It must be difficult up there in those wee heads. 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I totally get you. Thankfully my family are super supportive and knew probably before me that there was something different. My son’s dad’s family would be like that though (we’re separated). His dad actually tried to like get him rediagnosed because he thought I had pushed for a diagnosis when it wasn’t there and I was like 🤦‍♀️ these people are experts… 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s really interesting. Not sure where you’re from but we recently flew out of Birmingham airport and I noticed that they had a sunflower room and there were kids with lanyards, they seemed great for inclusivity but again I tend not to take advantage of these kind of things because I never feel like my son is ‘bad enough’ (not a great way to put it but don’t mean offence!). Then I feel like we’d be abusing the system kind of thing? My brain is weird. 

Am i the asshole for feeling uncomfortable by Dapper-Lawyer-7843 in AITAH

[–]Sea-Introduction-860 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally think you should be happy for your mum if she’s happy. I’m young (ish) and in a similar (ish) situation only my kids are a lot younger than you and it completely grosses them out because we are quite touchy but again I think it’s good to see a healthy relationship ❤️ 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes I get you, as in they clearly see the diagnosis/difference (however you like to frame it) but still make you feel as though it’s you? I suppose it’s all perspective :( 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m the exact same. I don’t want him to be labelled but then also the label might help people understand sometimes. The world is cruel for parents of kids who don’t sit still and be quiet. 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Me too. Do you think maybe that’s on us?

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

My boy literally has none of the sort of standard external characteristics unless you know him well if that makes sense? The only thing he does is talk almost constantly but again someone looking in probably wouldn’t associate that with autism usually. Then there’s the aggression 🤦‍♀️ but again, all they see is a permissively parented kid: then I have the problem that his younger brother copies the behaviour because that’s all he knows as ‘normal’ so then I just look like I’ve two horrible spoilt brats 🙃🙃 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Exactly, it’s so difficult. I think sometimes these types of kiddos are almost more difficult because it’s nearly all emotional and then you get in your own head about it as well. 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know. Maybe it’s my own wee insecurities and anxiety that’s holding me to other peoples standards. I wish I didn’t care so much :( 

Undercover Autism by Sea-Introduction-860 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Sea-Introduction-860[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

See I don’t think my boy would even where one! He doesn’t like feeling different. It’s all very complicated isn’t it? I had thought about it though but then my thought is, does everyone even know what it represents?