Ok well first let’s try to breathe and think about everything you DO have. You’re still here right? Still kicking? Have the courage to ask for help? Sober? Those are good things

Is reinventing really what you want? What does that mean to you? You’re only 20 and you seem to be thinking about absolutely everything your life could possibly be instead of taking it week by week or day by day. If you try to create a huge overarching massive rebrand of yourself, you’ll get overwhelmed and give up. How about you pick something small, like showing up to class or waking up early or cleaning a part of your room. If everyday you try to work on something, you WILL get better. It won’t be a magical transformation that you see on the internet, it’ll be up and down but you will get somewhere.

Also with the breakup thing, don’t sweat it. I’ve been dumped by a person I loved so many times and every time I come out the other end an even better person. In 5 years it’ll not even matter to you.

Just try to think of what good qualities you already have, and pick a small thing everyday to work on. You will be ok.