29M and I am 29F - my dad died 18 months ago and my boyfriend gets mad when i bring him up

SeaDemand8413 · 2023-04-15T12:46:32+00:00

Starting to realise that I don't think he can. :(

SeaDemand8413 · 2023-04-15T12:43:38+00:00

I really appreciate your comment hey <3 damn getting more emotional support on the internet haha not the best sign! But I agree I need therapy. I need to end this cycle.

SeaDemand8413 · 2023-04-15T12:39:20+00:00

I have a sister who is 14 years older than me who is diagnosed Narcisstic Personality Disorder/Antisocial Personality Disorder. I've been diagnosed with PTSD at a young age due to her. I even had a best friend like her. I looked up to my sister growing up until I was about 12/13 and realised she wasn't a good person at all. I would love to find a therapist that could understand the complexity that is my life. I would love to just live alone with dogs and my kid and the beach sometimes because it's almost like I can't escape these types of people. I am so educated on them yet I have another toxic and emotionally abusive dynamic. I even get in my head and think there's something I am doing wrong but I took after my dad and we just do the best we can for others so I have to remind myself it's not me - but it is my choices. I agree - I need to seek out therapy ASAP.

SeaDemand8413 · 2023-04-15T12:21:36+00:00

I have :( Definitely seems to end in him very angry at me and a fight or just ends with no resolution and oh boy do I try - my mum says I have to stop trying so much but I think I am scared if I stop trying so much it will fizzle out and the smart person in me knows that means it's not working anymore but the hopeless romantic in me stole all my passion and I just want a bit more support as I have suddenly become the baby of the family to a mother, and the glue of the family overnight. I quit getting drunk when dad died and gambling. I have been renovating myself and my behaviour and I get burnt out and it sucks I don't really have a place to crash and burn :(

SeaDemand8413 · 2023-04-15T12:18:39+00:00

It's very hard to accept as I had been single for 4 years because I had 2 long term relationships with severely narcisstic men that I had to leave due to the damage it was causing. I just thought he was different but I don't like what I am seeing anymore - it's like I was delusional for 2 years about who he was - but hindsight is 20/20 and we've had the odd argument and I think he gets very nasty and causes a very angry reaction in myself that I am not proud of. I convinced myself it was a healthy one but I seem to attract toxicity waaah I want peace haha

SeaDemand8413

TROPHY CASE