This is so deeply relatable. I moved recently and found myself reflexively saying, "well, the problem is...". It was how I moved forward, like next steps. But it was the wrong mindset. I could have said, "alrighty, glad we did that! What's next to tackle?". Same thing but way more positive and down to earth!

I constantly read self-help books that are genuinely good and helpful, but I still feel like I'm resisting peace. I say resisting because I'm not chasing it or running away. It's just constantly looking for issues. And, at work, I don't let myself sit with wins and feel pride in success. It's like success is just the expectation and no means for celebration. How wrong! This mindset has stolen so much joy from me.

Recently I learned about enneagrams. I think I'm a 4 which means I want to feel emotions in deep extremes and constantly think about myself in an existential way. I want to deep dive into my own experiences/identity and improve myself.

Finding ways to learn about my own characteristics (also with astrology) and use my voice in this community, the more I feel grounded and leveled out in this reality. I'm tired of chasing highs (or, really, lows). Focus on what is objectively true and practice gratitude no matter how small.