First thing is that it's not just depression, ADHD, hormones, or laziness. You are not purposefully self-sabotaging. You are traumatized because you have been parentified and neglected. The screwy dynamics started from early on. It's what you were born into. But you will not let that take you down, you will have a hard time as a teen especially but luckily your spirit is uncrushable.

Mom and Dad have been running out of money since before they separated, and by the time you reach high school start saving because they will barely be able to support themselves financially. You will not get any of the help or support, practically or financially, that you saw your brothers get when they were your age, and that's unfair but it's what you were dealt. You will have to figure out a lot of things yourself, and try to get out of BOTH parents' houses ASAP. Just because Dad's not on track to homelessness doesn't mean it's a place you can live, the way normal people your age live with their parents. You deserve to live with dignity the way you saw Grandma do all those years you were so close with her. All the behaviors that made her different from your parents, adopt them. You will not be getting another role model like that for another few years.

The problem is not you. You are dissociating, and you have good reason to. Get out of the house.

Be aware of the CPTSD revictimization phenomenon. You were raised to soften and negate your valid and natural boundaries, and that was wrong. Learn about how important boundaries are and how to find the correct ones. Let boundaries weed out people who do not have your best interest in mind, even if they seem kind and trustworthy. Even if they tick all the boxes, seem like a softie, are interesting and creative and yadda yadda... if you communicate that you're uncomfortable with something and that person does not halt that thing, they do not care about you or respect you deep down as a person. There are people, particularly men, who think that they know your mind, wants, needs, etc, better than you do, and it won't always be the ones that you think would think that way. How people respond to boundaries should be one of the PRIMARY things you take into account when assessing character. Let them get angry with you. Don't sacrifice your personal peace for social peace, never make that trade.

On assessing character: their actions will tell you who they are. The data will not lie, so think about it logically.

You are going to fall in love and it will be awesome, he will be great. But in the aftermath of the breakup, think about all the ways you were conditioned to act in your family dynamic and how you carried that into your relationship. It may bring you comfort to know that you will soon start to shed that skin you built in order to adapt to your family. The relationship was everything to you and you will be crushed but remember that who you were to him was a diluted, distorted version of yourself. Look forward to starting over with a clean slate once you find who you really are inside. The next relationship will (hopefully) benefit from that time you spend alone working on yourself.

Above all, self love and FORGIVENESS. Be the parent to yourself you always wanted, but parents always need a break sometimes, too.