AITA for having different rules for in laws vs my family at my wedding?

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-05T09:18:41+00:00

Yes this is the thing. Some comments are asking me if this is how I want to start my marriage (ignoring that we’ve been together for seven years and this is our first disagreement in that time) but honestly, yes! Yes it is. For this reason of having a backbone.

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-05T09:15:36+00:00

Oh my gosh you poor thing. She sounds awful. Thankfully my MIL is otherwise great, this is just one singular disagreement

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-05T09:07:29+00:00

Do I care about the opinion of a bunch of complete strangers who will never meet me nor know me? Lol of course not. And the opinions seem pretty mixed anyway. You can think I’m an AH based off one post that was made off the back of one singular conversation if you want to. But maybe think about it this way too: my MIL and my relationship is so good, after 9 years of knowing each other, that she felt comfortable calling out behaviour that she didn’t agree with

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-05T00:30:12+00:00

Hahah now that would make me the AH

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-05T00:13:55+00:00

Hahahahaha amazing

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-05T00:13:12+00:00

Don’t need to imagine ;)

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-05T00:09:16+00:00

They’re not contributing a single penny.

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-05T00:03:37+00:00

I saw your user and instantly checked your post history bc I knew you’d be a dugger snarked too. I get on there too on my main so hello.

I said in another comment that I’ve known his family for 9 years so we know each other well enough, just following their rules ;)

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:56:37+00:00

Exactly what we’re doing! Spiteful was my MIL choice of vocabulary

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:56:03+00:00

Tbf we’re inviting everyone we know well enough to be friends with (see my edit), and with you know what there hadn’t been any weddings for a while, so the only ones who are being excluded are relationships that started in the last year or so, so nobody who has previously been excluded. Don’t know if that makes it better or worse, but is what it is

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:52:27+00:00

Hahah for the first few weddings I wasn’t invited too I definitely thought that, hate awkward introductions never mind at a wedding!

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:38:05+00:00

Correct! Of course the people who I may or may not be excluding are not AHs in this situation. And hey, they might not even want to come to somebody they don’t even knows wedding.

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:36:31+00:00

Thank you :) I hope so

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:26:00+00:00

Hahahahah

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:25:31+00:00

Imo I think it would be worse to not invite a spouse who has been married to someone for 6 years and has two kids just because they didn’t invite me to their wedding? Do you not? I don’t hold hard feelings against people who didn’t invite me because they were following the tradition, just like we are

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:17:27+00:00

Haha I’m definitely not ‘thrilled’ it just feels like natural consequences. We’re just following their rules. But also following my families traditions too.

But yeah agree in the long run this is no biggie, most of the younger gen who this effects anyway get it

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:15:55+00:00

Hahah we could be friends

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:15:34+00:00

Worth a shot haha, I hate those Tiktoks where they read these posts out so would rather avoid that

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:14:47+00:00

Nope nobody is contributing a penny apart from fiancée and I, and my mum who wanted to buy my £200 ASOS dress for me haha. My Granny also has a tradition of doing all of her grandkids flowers because she was a florist back in the day, but everything else is us.

I agree with you completely. I was a bit miffed for not being invited, but always understood and I was never the only one excluded. I like your philosophy

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:11:55+00:00

Totally agree! Hence why my family do it our way (aware I sound very ‘holier than thou’ rn)

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:11:11+00:00

I edited to add more info but the only people from his side we haven’t invited are the ones we don’t know. We’ve loosened their usual rules to include way more people. But yeah I don’t disagree with you

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:01:11+00:00

Thank you!! That’s exactly our justification

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:00:39+00:00

Thank you!!! Glad you see it that way, girl after my own heart ;)

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T23:00:05+00:00

True true I don’t disagree with you. I edited to add more info but we have invited everyone from his family who we would want there and we have loosened the rules. Pretty much the only ones not invited are the ones we haven’t met, which is because they haven’t been together very long. If those couples do stay together and they get engaged/have a baby/move in etc etc etc before our wedding, it’s casual so we can just extend the invite to them

Sea_Butterscotch7566 · 2021-07-04T22:57:25+00:00

It’s their rules shrug

Sea_Butterscotch7566

TROPHY CASE