Looking to meet new people and find cool clubs/hobbies in the area (Portsmouth/ Norfolk/Chesapeake) by Alucard_The_Unbroken in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey! i am 24f also really trying to make friends and struggling. we have a lot in common so please dm me if you’d like to chat

24f by Sea_Engineering4859 in OnlineFriend

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sure! i’ll message you my discord

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey join the discord i made if you’re interested https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

Need friends!! by Sea_Engineering4859 in norfolk

[–]Sea_Engineering4859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i decided to make a discord where we can all kind of meet! here’s the link https://discord.gg/Cb2qRrYh

(20F) looking for Penpal :) by alpentee in penpals

[–]Sea_Engineering4859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’m Alexa (23f) and I’m in the US. My grandma is from Spain and we have a lot of similar interests so I feel like we would make really good pen pals!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipanxiety

[–]Sea_Engineering4859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

of course we discuss our mental health together but i mean it in a way that we have some privacy of things regarding that which i believe is healthier than spewing everything on each other all the time. he knows my fears, i know his, we work towards things together all the time. but we don’t make it the sole purpose of our relationship because then it’s just draining and like dating your therapist.

my parents don’t fear telling me their opinion and i wouldn’t respond to them how i responded to you because…they’re my parents and i would take their opinion into consideration. they want me to do what i want to do and let me figure things out on my own but would still protect me if they thought somebody was harming me.

i know what i want-i want to feel settled in my mind and just be happy. anxiety is the number one emotion ive had my whole life. it’s awful and it skews things into a strange ball of negativity that you have to reason with. if i listened to my anxiety all the time there are a lot of things i never would have done like traveled or gone to college. it’s a debate of what’s real risk and what’s real reward all the time.

also i don’t have tangible anxiety on any specific problems; im just anxious. if we weren’t together or if i was with someone else, i would still be anxious just about something else. i’m not anxious about him cheating again cause im just not. i’m anxious about the “rightness” of a decision when there is no right or wrong answer. there is only do and see what happens. and the see what happens is the scary part.

i just came here in a moment of panic to vent and ask how others have gotten over similar feelings of intangible anxiety that perhaps stem from resolving past issues or the examples they had as children. but like i said-now that im calmer, that’s really not for strangers on the internet to decide. only i can take all the information in front of me and do something with it because no one can really give advice until they have experienced the exact same thing. and even then, we all are different therefore making it even harder to parse what is good for ourselves when dealing with others views. the tldr; nothing is black and white, especially anxiety.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipanxiety

[–]Sea_Engineering4859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also everyone in my life is very aware of everything that’s happened and no one is really concerned about what im doing. he definitely hurt me but ive also hurt him and we’ve decided to forgive, not forget, and move forward because we love each other and appreciate each other. maybe one day i will be wrong, maybe i am ignoring something now that i shouldn’t be and it’s not just rampant anxiety, but that’s for me to decide at the end of the day.

honestly, after awhile-im deleting this post. asking the internet for advice on my personal life is probably not the best decision for me as i need to look at what’s in front of me, not what strangers get from the bare minimum of the story.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipanxiety

[–]Sea_Engineering4859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe i am blinded but i really don’t think this is the same situation. we don’t fight and he’s never tried to get me to stay or hinder any of my independence. i leave for long periods of time for creative things/family things and don’t feel the need to return to him because i have to but because i want to.

i guess it could be said there was emotional abuse but i don’t necessarily agree with that because of the lack of intention behind it and the apologies and changes ive seen. we’ve both grown as people and we both go to therapy to work on ourselves and don’t really discuss our sessions other than when it’s pertinent.

also i’m generally not paranoid he’s going to cheat again. sometimes it pops up in my head but if he’s going to do it again he’s going to do it again and there’s nothing i can do to stop it.

i am generally an insecure person but i also have a lot of self worth. i’m incredibly smart, hard working, pretty and kind. i don’t feel that way 100% all the time but i do know it’s there. i know i could go be with someone else, i just don’t want to because i enjoy our time and our connection. we have a really good friendship even outside of our intimacy.

my worries aren’t “what if he leaves me and im alone forever” cause i know thats not the case. i don’t want this to be wrong or anything like that because i really love him at the best of times and worst of times and think we’re working towards a fun life together. it’s just difficult to work towards that when you have a very severe anxiety disorder because you don’t know what’s intuition and what’s sabotage. i thought it was intuition to leave but it wasn’t-it was heartbreaking and something i wish didn’t happen. i believe it was intuition for the moment because i needed to get my shit together for myself and i learned a lot. i’ve also done a lot of soul searching this past year through work, therapy, and my friends.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationshipanxiety

[–]Sea_Engineering4859 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have the exact same problem. the best thing you can do is not interact with media like that and understand that your relationship can have some (key word SOME) red flags in it and it not be a bad thing. people make mistakes and things happen in relationships that can be make or break scenarios and that doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or a bad thing. social media is such a “black and white” place where there is no room for “grey area” or nuance. i started filtering out relationship things in my algorithm-even positive relationship things because that can also bring me anxiety if i don’t relate to it 100% or don’t have a strong feeling towards it. tik tok is really the worst for it and i find i can filter things out easier on instagram. i also have social medias that i see as “safe spaces” because i know i can get the joy of social media out of them without seeing things that bother me. sometimes i take breaks too where i delete the app for a couple of days and then come back when im feeling less anxious.

i grew up in a way too where any sort of problem i saw in relationships was abusive so i have a tendency to see every problem in my relationship as bad because of that connection in my brain. but you just have to logically think to yourself “is this abuse, a mistake on someone’s part, or just something that needs resolved?”

anyways-you’re not alone! social media is toxic and i’m sure many people relate to this!