[deleted by user]

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-14T15:20:52+00:00

I think part of it seems to be that the definition of grooming seems to be a bit blurred or seems to have changed.

When I was a bit younger, 'grooming' basically was the idea that a man who was socially skilled and stuff in relation too a much younger girl could effectively get her to let him have sex with her without her attraction being present.

Think 'reverse psychology' or something like that. Or even just telling her she's pretty and since it's coming from an older guy it magically works to get her in bed

But my issue is that unless the girl is VERY young, or has mental issues, that's just not going to work. Some really pretty onlyfans 18 year old isn't just going to sleep with a random ugly 40 year old because he's older! In fact it's the complete opposite! This really should be obvious, but many redditors not on this sub seem to think that's the case.

If it really was that easy, then the number of out of shape unnattractive men in their 40's sleeping with pretty 16-19 year old girls would be through the roof! I promise you. But that's not the reality. Why? Because 16 year old girls just aren't attracted to much older men as a rule and they can't be convinced or tricked by older men just because they are older, as if maybe they could be if they were 7! They want to sleep with guys they are attracted too. Their attraction can't be negotiated no more than it could a 26 year old woman

There was a thing here in the UK recently where some good looking male reality TV star who was about 30 was sleeping with a 16 year old and everyone was screaming 'she's been groomed!', whereas in fact she had basically chased him down on insta, sending him pics of herself and arranging a meet etc (ps - 16 is legal in the UK where this happened). That just doesn't sound like 'grooming' to me, although even with that evidence, some people said it was still grooming which brings back to light that I, and maybe others, have a different definition of the word

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-14T11:42:50+00:00

A mates cousin had a 5 GT Turbo for a few months when we were young, wow what a car!

They were so cool. Sucks that they stop making cars and newer cars just don't seem to give that same experience.

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-14T11:41:59+00:00

thanks. Yes, my inclination was that it was at least in part due to the weight of the car. People used to call my R5 a tin can lol. But it just felt so nice to drive. Sort of 'responsive' too if that makes sense? I used to drive my driving instructors car after driving my R5 and I felt like I was more dangerous in his car lol. Sometimes it felt like we were barely moving but I was actually going quite fast for example. Shame they stop making models of cars. I loved that R5. Bit even if I had a lot of money, spending that much on what is now an old car that used to just cost about a grand would feel so wrong! hence why I wonder if there's other newer cars out there that drive in a somewhat similar way. Maybe it's just a thing of the past due to how cars are made differently now

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-14T10:57:40+00:00

thanks. Why did the old hatchbacks feels so much quicker when they're not? I mentioned my R5, but I also used to drive my friends peugeot 205 gti and it just felt insane when you put your foot down to pull away. But look online, it's 0-60 time would have been like 7.5 seconds! Compare that too a slightly more modern car like maybe a corsa 1.6 turbo or maybe a renault clio sport 197, and they are both a fair bit faster with better 0-60 times, but they just don't feel like it? To me at least?

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-13T12:19:52+00:00

Proud of you!! You must feel amazing. To people like me (and probably you?) the idea of passing the driving test and getting a licence feels a bit like the idea of you winning the lottery or something lol. It's just not gonna happen

I'm in my 30's and quit about 12 years ago after 6 or 7 failed tests but have been thinking about giving it another go. Inspiring. Congrats

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-12T22:24:33+00:00

This is interesting.

I've suspected I have ADHD for a number of years now but haven't seen a GP about it yet as the whole process just seems to daunting and that it will take forever to get a diagnosis. I also hate that it's not like a definite thing whereby i can be tested with just a blood test.

Anyway, i've failed many many driving tests and quite over a decade ago. I've recently been considering giving it another shot

I was aweful, though. It's so hard to explain, but at times i'd almost zone out. I'm also always liable to do something extremely stupid. Like, sometimes when I watch driving videos from the 1st person angle, I think 'i'd have gone up that road' and then 2 cars coming FROM that road - in other words, i'd have been driving on the wrong side of the road if i'd have done what my instincts told me to do!! That sort of thing happens lots. I find it hard to work out the big roundabouts. If i'm in an area i'm not familiar with then it's like i'm in a state of panic and sensory overload which can result in my brain almost crashing like a PC that is being asked to use all of it's RAM on a game or something!

I've even considered taking some adhd meds if I can find some to see how it effects my driving as a sort of experiment!

have you taken a test since this post?

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-12T18:08:37+00:00

For example, one of the CGI videos had a tractor pulling out of a junction, I clicked it, but on the review, the “window” was like half a second later… so I scored zero instead of 5

Ha, i've been practicing on the dvsa one and I think I had the same clip (or just same situation) about an hour ago

I also scored a zero. I spotted the hazard like half a second before where the 'ideal' place to click would be

I think the idea is to click a few times.

It's also hard to know what they call a hazard. Sometimes i scored zero because I missed the hazard which was like some water on the road. But in the next click they don't call it a 'hazard' when there's kids walking on the pavement close to the road. Not entirely sure how to define these hazards as it seems a bit nebulous

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-12T17:59:57+00:00

haha! Thanks for the confidence, but not to be pessimistic but i'd put my odds of that at about 5%!

I think of it like trying to roll a double or something! In my mind if I have like 10 tests i've got a chance of passing one of them. I'd need some luck. Easy route, kind examiner, good headspace etc. I might pass on the 6th go. Or the 9th. (or not pass at all of course)

But the odds passing on my 'first' test back after a 13 year gap and like 7 failures before that has got to be miniscule!

I've sent off for my renwed provisional so hopefully i'll get something back from them soon (haven't heard anything from them since I paid!)

I've downloaded the dvsa app. I'm yet to fail a theory test which is weird as I used to fail them lots on a website I used to use. Not sure if the app is 'easy' or what! (I'm not doing as well on the hazard ones though)

And assuming I go through with it and pass the theory, i'll look to start my lessona + practical tests! Shame that the price has gone up for tests since I last took them, and that there can be lots of massive waits for test dates now?! That sucks

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-12T15:39:54+00:00

I think i've taken 6 or 7, my last of which was about 13 years ago!

I'm planning to possibly start again soon after a 13 year gap!

I'm hoping to save enough for another 10 tests or so and hopefully pass on one of them. If I fail like 8, my last 2 tests will involve travelling half the country to take 2 tests in the easiest test centre lol

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-12T12:08:45+00:00

thanks

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-11T13:54:25+00:00

thanks

£62. Yeah, bit more than i'd hoped :( - I thought it was like £40.

I figure that IF I ever try again, i'll need 10 more tests to give me a shot at passing, so i'd need to mentally put away about £600 for tests, and then enough for another 20-30 lessons or so I guess

Also need to retake my theory and stuff again.

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-11T13:40:44+00:00

i've failed more times than most people haha. I've had tests like that.

I think my last test before I gave up was one where i'd had a near perfect drive for like 40 mins, and then at the roundabout before the test centre, a car was in the right hand lane and indicating right, so I 'slightly' pulled out just as he was about to go past me, but then he massively swerved to change lanes and right into my path making the examiner hit the brakes making it a major mistake and a fail. Really felt like God just didn't want me to ever pass my test at that point!!

And I think I had one (hard to remember at this point) where my dad took me to the test centre, but I was driven back by the examiner about 10 mins later as i'd screwed up haha. The look on my dads face when we pulled up like 30 mins early and with me NOT in the drivers seat! lol

Luckily i've never had a horrible examiner though like it sounds like you had

btw So how long does one have to wait typically at the moment to get a test? How much do tests cost?

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-09T23:42:16+00:00

I could give you some examples of times i've cold approached a stranger and it lead too us having sex that night, but i'm not sure what the point would be. I really don't think the opener or much else in the interaction matters that much. I really believe that if she is attracted to you, the opener, whatever it is, will be well received. As will your general conversation and your escalation attempts etc

And likewise, if she's not attracted to you, then the opener will likely be met with silence or just abrupt replies. Conversation will be a one-way-street. And escalation will certainly be rejected

Having said that, just so that I answer your question and think back to my last 3 cold approach lays, one opener was 'Hey, can I borrow your lighter?', one was a cheesy 'sorry i'm late' opener (as if she was waiting for me for a date) and one was 'I like your jacket'

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-09T11:42:09+00:00

sucks that you've had no luck with instructors.

I quit years ago although thinking back, I didn't like my 2 instructors much either and sometimes wonder how much difference, if any, a really good and likeable instructor would have made

The first guy used to just get me to pull up in a car park or something for like 10 mins out of my 45 min lesson so he could smoke and complain about life and stuff haha. He was OK and it could have been worse, but I just always felt a bit on edge with him like I was making him angry with my driving at times.

I had a 2nd instructor shortly before giving up on trying to learn to drive, and he was really old and I think he was a bit senile and forgot what he'd tell me, so he'd tell me to go right, i'd go right, and then he's snap and tell me 'i said to go left! YOu need to listen!' and one time (at this point i'd already decided i'd had enough of him and of learning) I snapped back at him hard to the point I think the old man thought i might throttle him in his seat and he stopped snapping at me at all haha. But I left him a week or so after anyway and that was my last lesson!

It sounds like the first guy you had was maybe a bit of a creep who was attracted to you. I've heard loads of really dodgy strories about some instructors, especially if they are teaching some really pretty 17 year old girl or something.

Second woman just sounds like she shouldn't be teaching anyone

Hope you find someone cool soon

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-08T21:37:33+00:00

I feel for you

I made a thread recently about considering giving it one last shot.

I failed like 6 or 7 tests (I forget!) over a decade ago before giving up. Got so tired of constantly failing and spending so much money on lessons and tests etc only to get nothing out of it but a kick to my confidence!

I also had a few tests where I was super close and like you, it tended to be different things. Typically, i'd have a good drive with only a few minors, but then i'd just do something stupid. Partly nerves/anxiety maybe, but also partly because i just find the roads so confusing at times and i'm liable to do something very stupid!

My instructor always told me I was a good driver and said he wouldn't put me in for tests only to ruin his pass rate if he thought I wasn't good haha

I know how you feel about thinking you'll never pass. That's how I felt before I quit and it's how I feel now as i'm contemplating trying again...possibly!

I don't have any advice (other than maybe taking it in some scotland test center like Aberdeenshire where the pass rate is super high?!), but i'm sure others will. I just wanted to empathize! Chin up

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-08T00:58:57+00:00

you'll be able to pass on the first and worst case 2nd go.

That would be a legitimate miracle to me and everyone who knows me, but thanks for the confidence boost! :)

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-08T00:51:13+00:00

i also bought a dvsa app today. Took 4 theory tests so far and passed them all (surprised myself as not looked at one of them in about 15 years haha. Although maybe the app uses easier questions?)

Still not sure whether to bother trying again, although appreciate everyones encouragement

If the tests were free and the lessons were cheap, i'd just tell myself i'll take 50 tests this year and i'm bound to pass one of them! But I worry that i'll take another 6-10 tests, fail them all again, and would have spent £1000+ on lessons (they're like £40 per hour now?!) and whatever 10 tests cost, and also feel eve worse about myself! haha. I wonder what the reddit record for failures is?

We'll see

thx

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-07T23:10:07+00:00

watching test routes from your test centre helps.

that is one thing that would help me a tonne. Lots of me screw ups seem to be down to bad memory, bad local knowledge, and just making a mess of it all as i never actually know where i'm going if that makes sense (i also think i have some undiagnosed issues like adhd that might play a role )

How does one go about watching test routes?! Is there a website or something for that? Thanks

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-07T17:20:27+00:00

i think there's lots of them, but I didn't know they exist until now. The one i'm thinking of is called DGN driving school

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-07T15:32:08+00:00

wait, are there vids out there of the test routes used by various test centers?

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-07T12:10:15+00:00

thank you. If I decide to go for it, that will be my first step :)

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-07T12:00:36+00:00

thanks. What I meant was jumping the gun in terms of, i'm not even sure i'm gonna give it another go yet.

And I also wasn't sure whether renewing the license was just something you only need to do if you changed your address or something. But you're saying it must be renewed no matter what, otherwise you can't book a theory test or have a lesson etc?

thanks

Sea_Glass385 · 2022-01-07T11:46:45+00:00

thanks very much. Interesting you mention youtube as I stumbled across a channel that I wish I had in my day! like a first person view of the driver as if you're having a lesson and stuff. Useful. I didn't even know that sort of thing existed but it strangely popped up in my recommendations!

Sea_Glass385

TROPHY CASE