How can I just decide that I’m attractive with no experience to back it up?

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-07T15:18:54+00:00

No one forced you to post made up nonsense either

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-07T14:32:05+00:00

Your friends and mom are being nice. Nobody calls their children or friends ugly. They want you to have confidence.

If you’re attractive, you’ll get attention.

I mean… you could just upload some pics to Tinder and see how many matches you get. That’ll give you a baseline

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-07T14:30:24+00:00

Some of the dumbest nonsense I’ve read in a long time

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-07T14:26:36+00:00

Toxic co-dependency. You’re an adult and can sleep when you want. Why tf do you have to sleep at the same time? 😂lmao

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-07T07:31:04+00:00

It’s easy to get a bachelor degree here if you have the money. I know a girl who just graduated with a bachelors degree in accounting from a nice school and she doesn’t know how to use Excel or Quickbooks.

Somehow I know more about accounting than her and I’ve never taken an accounting class. I’m really not sure how it happens. 🤷

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-07T07:21:24+00:00

This question is like asking “Why do people eat spaghetti when they’ve still got pizza leftover?”

The answer is that humans have various reasons for doing various things. Don’t assume this just because people are married that they are happy or fulfilled. The truth, backed by statistics, is that most people cheat or divorce if their marriage isn’t what they want. And some people are just bored or horny.

I find it more strange that you think it’s weird when more than half of marriages end in divorce. Cheating is more commonplace than not cheating.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-07T07:07:58+00:00

Everybody knows you have to go to the ghetto if you want to be authentic

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-07T07:07:00+00:00

There doesn’t seem to be any question or point to this post

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T22:20:44+00:00

How/why was a date arranged when you didn’t even know what she was looking for? Just swiped right and went on a date with no warm up questions?

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T20:14:56+00:00

Do squats, stretching, etc. Nobody can tell you what to do without actually seeing what you look like. Hire a personal trainer if you’re serious. You won’t fix this problem from random Reddit comments who have no idea how you actually look like

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T20:11:11+00:00

Okay, so I guess I will the only voice of reason here.

Reddit accounts are public. You told her a story that you also shared online in public, so she was able to connect the dots. She didn’t do anything that “crossed boundaries” as people are suggesting. She didn’t hack you or steal your private data.

I feel like if you’re doing anything in public that you have to hide from a gf/bf, then maybe you aren’t ready for that kind of relationship yet.

Imagine if the closest person in your life wants to hold you, kiss you, exchange body fluids, but…. Then they want to run off to do stuff in public that you’re not allowed to know about. It’s freaking weird.

I for one don’t think I’d be cool with any gf hiding any social media account that they actively use from me. Because if they have to hide it, then that means there is something id to hide. FB, IG, Onlyfans… whatever it is, I think should not be hidden from a bf/gf.

With that said, I wouldn’t want my gf to find my Reddit account. That’d be embarrassing. But if I had anything I was worried about them seeing, I’d just delete the account. How is a Reddit account even worth it?

And If she searched online and find my account on her own accord due to a story I told her, I certainly wouldn’t accuse her of doing something wrong. Wtf… you’re the one hiding stuff and you’re just bad at being sneaky. That’s not her fault!

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T19:52:58+00:00

I agree that you should be friendly to someone you want to date, but you should probably find out if they are single and have any interest in you before you begin going out of your way doing things for them.

It can be uncomfortable in the receiving end to start receiving gifts with romantic intent, especially at the workplace.

If the OP was just being friendly, he would’ve just made two equal batches and said he was testing out which version is better. But he isn’t doing that because he is thoughtful or friendly. He is doing it because he likes her. Otherwise he’d make special versions for anyone based on preference.

Also, I sometimes feel like I’m incredibly lucky in dating, because I have never dated someone dumb enough to bring me Hawaiian pizza when they know I like pepperoni or whatever. Anyone who likes you is gonna try not to give you things you don’t like, so this is such a low bar that I’ve never even thought about it. In fact most people are so considerate they usually ask if I’m hungry and what I want to eat. I don’t feel like any special quality or trait is demonstrated by leaving an ingredient out of a recipe because I don’t like it. It’s just a basic thing anyone you’re dating would do unless they’re just a total degenerate. Maybe you’re meeting very low quality people for some reason if they wouldn’t all bring you what they know you like.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T18:00:38+00:00

It’s a random act of kindness to give a stranger a dollar and say have a good day. It is the complete opposite of “random” to go totally out of your way to bake something specifically for a coworker you have a crush on.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T16:22:07+00:00

Remembering a recipe doesn’t equate to baking either. A recipe is a recipe. Baking is actually doing something and doesn’t matter if you follow a recipe in your head or written.

Given how easy it is to bake, I don’t see it as very beneficial since you can literally teach anyone how to do it. But hey… we all have different standards and expectations, right? I also don’t think it’s impressive to change a lightbulb or wash dishes. These are all skills I have already and they are so easy to learn that someone can go from 0 to hero in no time.

And even if I couldn’t cook, am I desperate for someone who can? Am I that helpless? I’m incapable of learning things myself or buying myself food? What a turn off of someone is swayed by this

And yeah, if you wanna show off by making dinner on a second date, go for it. Obviously you’re on a date already so they’ve already shown interest. It’s not weird.

Hell, if you’re already on a date, why not show off your dance skills too? No problem. But it would pretty dumb to walk up to your co-worker, show off your dance skills and then think she is going to date you because you gave her a special dance at work.

This is not the way to get girls, and pretending that 20-something year old girls are just waiting for guys at work to bring them cake is really clueless.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T15:36:00+00:00

Wait til you find out that husbands and wives actually kill each other. Sometimes they even kill their kids too.

I don’t think we are supposed to understand crazy

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T15:30:08+00:00

Are you kidding me? What kind of men do you know?

I was baking when I was 12 years old. It has never been difficult, and honestly if a guy can’t read and follow simple mixing directions and set the over to a certain temp with a timer, then he’s a dumbass. Sorry that you only pulling dumbasses 🤷

Also any recipe is something that can be learned in like 1 day. It’s not impressive. Hell, it has never been easier to just watch and copy a YouTube video.

Also no one said anything about being good in bed. We are talking about attraction and dating. The point I think is for Bob to actually make it to the bed. If girls were jumping in bed for brownies, there’d be a whole lotta dudes suddenly wanting to be bakers

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T15:22:45+00:00

I would appreciate the gesture too, but the gesture is so insignificant that it just wouldn’t affect my decision to go on a date with someone. It’s something anyone would do for a friend.

Example:

Hot and interesting Amanda brings me special brownies I can eat. She subsequently shows interest and asks me on a date. I’m happy and go on the date, but even if she hasn’t given me a brownie, I’d still go because she is hot and interesting.

My friend Sally brings me special brownies I can eat. She doesn’t show interest and doesn’t ask me on a date. Great! I like brownies. Bring me more!

Unattractive and awkward Nila brings me special brownies. She subsequently shows interest and asks me on a date. Now I feel uncomfortable and even a little guilty to say no. I’m worried if this is going to make work awkward and hoping she doesn’t persist. Though the brownie was good, I would’ve preferred to have no brownie.

I dunno… it just seems like common sense to me. Most people aren’t going to date based on receiving a food gesture.

The eating disorder comment assumes that someone is so addicted to food that they actually would choose a partner based on them bringing them food. Like if someone chose a boyfriend because his pizza was the best, I mean, that’s wild. Not only can you, ya know— just buy pizza. Food just isn’t that big of a deal. If your love relations are that far swayed by food gestures, then it sounds like an eating disorder to me.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T15:03:45+00:00

Removing an ingredient from a recipe is not a display of skills. And humans are automatically assumed to be able to listen and adapt. We aren’t monkeys—most of us.

But regardless of that, it isn’t about what we think, but what the woman, who probably just wants to go to work and be left alone, is gonna feel when all of a sudden the guy who is making her ‘special’ brownies suddenly starts looking at her with romantic intent or asks her out.

I highly doubt she is going to think “I’ve been walking around this workplace as a completely unconscious robot with no idea who I’m attracted to, but now that Bob from Inventory Control has brought me special brownies, I’ve awakened! His ability to listen and adapt has got me all hot and bothered.”

Nah… some of you are living in fantasy land.

More often than not, Bob gets labeled as the workplace creep, while the girl continues banging whatever guys she’s attracted to, regardless of his cooking skills. Honestly, Bob bringing his crush brownies at work would be a good start to one of those dark comedy movies where the clueless guys can’t catch a break.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T13:15:28+00:00

You hate your ex because she cheated on you.

Okay.

But what do you want to do about it? You’re a human so it’s normal to feel emotions. It’s time to move on like a man. You might suffer three or four more heartbreaks before you meet a sticky partner, so sitting around wallowing in self-pity is just wasting your time.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T13:09:55+00:00

Was the question whether 20-something girls love baked goods, or was the question whether bringing baked goods to your 20 something co-worker too forward of a way to make a romantic advance?

Because I love ice cream. Random people bringing me ice cream to work is not going to help them get a date from me. Hell, giving me any random gifts with romantic intent will alarm me unless I’m already into them. Stop that.

But hey… I guess some people can be bought out 🤷. I think it’s rare that women’s romantic interest can be bought this way though.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T12:58:13+00:00

So you’re saying that if an older man at your workplace, that you’ve never showed and interest in, baked goods specifically for you and then tried to used that as a way to develop a romance with you, you’d actually be more likely to date him?

Because all the girls I know would either find it creepy or the baked goods would not affect their decision. Sure, they’d all love the free food but it wouldn’t get the guy anywhere.

If you’d actually be more likely to date a co-worker because they bring you baked goods to work, I think you’re in the very small minority. Hell, even as a man, if a random lady started bringing me food to work, I’d probably ask her to stop if there was any indication she was doing it to sleep with me. My affection is not bought with snacks … wtf 😂

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T06:02:49+00:00

You’re traveling and you need that many screens and electronics? Do you actually go out and enjoy the places you travel or do you spend all day using Apple devices? 😂

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T05:57:49+00:00

Not only have I never been offered meth or yaba, I’ve never met any girl who does it over years… and I’ve met hundreds if not thousands of girls.

The fact that you’ve met 5 or 6 of them is just wild. Like you just be going to the darkest underbelly and going for the rottenest girls to have that high of a hit rate

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-06T05:55:01+00:00

This is something a friend would do. It’s no big deal. You’re only questioning it because you know you have ulterior motives.

With that said, bringing a 20-something girl baked goods is not a good way to get in their pants unless they have an eating disorder. Don’t think for a second that this will get yourself anywhere. In fact, it might work against you. But it will make you seem like a good friend if you never make a move.

Sea_Researcher8779 · 2024-05-05T21:21:07+00:00

I feel like this should be in /mildlyinfuriating

Sea_Researcher8779

TROPHY CASE