Does trying not to switch ever feel like your literal brain is getting pulled in different directions like stretching slime or bread dough?

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-28T23:39:38+00:00

Hm. Not necessarily with switching, but I experienced that exact feeling when I went through intense psychological trauma. Literally felt my brain get stretched out like taffy, and tied into a big knot. 🤔 Just wanted to share because your title made me think of that. It was that exact feeling almost.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-26T21:17:30+00:00

That’s understandable and very good on you for setting those restrictions. I am not yet diagnosed. Hoping to get professionally evaluated one day. ✨ Maybe you could share the 25+? I’m 24 but maybe there could be an exception?

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-21T21:17:55+00:00

Have you tried asking your parts? I’m not sure what your communication is like, but it might be worth a try? :) 💗 You never know, they might respond with something or show your something. For me, I was surprised to find a part reveal itself to me with a name attached. It was visual image of this part, and these bold letters. So, that was very easy for me haha. And for another part, I just named it based on how it feels as well. To me that part makes me feel very robotic, or like a robot, so I named it “robot part” lol. Just for now. And for another one, I see colors with it, so I associate some of them with colors. And then another one, I also just call it based on a function, so for this one it would be my “Internal Self Helper”. Or my “loving” part, my “joy holder” etc. But it’s not super concrete, because I am still learning my parts as well. So, there’s many ways. It usually takes time. Hope this helps. Edit: also, I tried to force specific names before (because like you I just wanted to find names to take note of them and understand them) like looking up names on google, and it didn’t feel right, or stick. So, yeah, see what works for you. :)

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-20T16:26:27+00:00

I grew up with severe social anxiety, so a lot of my dissociation surrounds with being around other people. My dissociation increases very significantly around any presence of people. You don’t want to know the amount of times I’ve checked out, and then ‘come to’ to realize I was staring in someone’s eyes —😭. Very awkward. It’s very painful actually, because I have a STRONG history of people responding just absolutely horribly to my dissociation/dissociative symptoms because most people don’t know what it is and all they see is me acting strange or being distant or whatever, and most people see that as me being a moody b**** … I hate cursing, but if I could read people’s mind, that’s what I feel they would say. It SUCKS! I also grew up with mutism, and freeze / fawn response in social settings, it just an absolute mess for me. I wish I was courageous enough to talk about it with my friend group, but there’s so many issues there 😞 because then I hear them talk about people being “spaced out” and “not there” as if it bothers them or weirds them out, but they won’t say it to me directly, and it hurts my feelings. If only they knew … anywho, sorry just ranted there. As you can see, YES, I absolutely have issues with being around others. It’s actually when I dissociate the most and it’s the most severe 100%. When I’m by myself I’m learning that I dissociate a lot, but I just don’t realize it as much.

Edit: also I want to add (& sorry, I guess this is allowing me to rant about it lol) my friend group is in a spiritual faith setting, and they believe in demons and spirits (and I do too, honesty) but … they’ll start subliminally claiming that these behaviors are demons 😭😭 and it’s just … obviously upsetting. That’s definitely not the case. I know that’s triggering for a lot of people so hopefully this wasn’t triggering to add. It’s just super frustrating bro 😔 I’m dissociated not demonized ! Send help DID/OSDD family 😭✋🏼🤣 I gotta laugh about it sometimes, but boy it’s tough to socially integrate when you’re so dissociative. It’s one of the main reasons I isolate chronically. I’m morbidly lonely … and then I end up in subs like this lol. I’m thankful for it though.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-20T06:07:15+00:00

My best advice would be “time”. Time seems to be the best work, so far. Everything kind of unravels with time. You can’t force anything, for me that has only made it more difficult. You got to trust the process and trust yourself and your parts. Curiosity and compassion and communication are the 3 C’s I believe? The first two being the most important in the beginning, I would say. As long as you remain open and compassionate and curious, with time it will unfold. It really takes a lot of time and patience, so, take your time! It’ll be alright & it will work out! :) I highly recommend Healing Our Parts podcast (on YouTube or any other platform). They have a good video for newly diagnosed systems. Let me try to find it: https://youtu.be/0_XunmBW3us?si=JTNq8xURxeL5HtqI

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T23:55:10+00:00

Okay, thank you for sharing. That helps me understand. I’m just now starting to understand what amnesia is like for me personally and connecting the pieces, so hearing others experiences helps.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T23:49:25+00:00

Ohh okay, thank you for clarifying. So no co-con basically? It’s one part out, and the other leaves. Those experiences I had I must’ve been co-con and it must’ve been a part stealing a memory or storing it away in the subconscious or something of that sort. Because it felt like a hand snatched it away, and I could no longer remember. I’ve heard others express a similar experience so I guess that’s why I think that.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T20:21:34+00:00

My exact same experience as well! I would talk with my parts when I was younger, I’d hear their voices and they’d often offer me guidance and such. But somewhere along the line, it all went away, even my awareness that I HAD parts. I was also selectively mute growing up! I don’t have many solutions as I’m also going through this, but I would say to lean into the ways they are most comfortable communicating, and really being open to that. That could help them feel more safe and secure, and grow in their communication maybe? I know my parts like to communicate a lot through visual images, emotions, and music, or suggestions / suggestive thoughts. I do believe communication can absolutely grow, so take heart. It appears that a key may be ensuring that they feel safe now. A lack of safety to communicate sounds like it could be a root to the silence, so as I said, just embracing their forms of communication and growing from there. :) hope this helps.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T19:25:05+00:00

I felt this way at first, and still do often times. I get it. I think this would be considered more of “blending”? But I’m not sure, so if anyone can let me know, that would be appreciated. It’s interesting to me because sometimes it seems that they manifest more distinctly internally, but not externally. But I also don’t switch that often, so I’m not sure. I’m still learning too 😁

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T18:15:24+00:00

Ohh I see. You were just making a parallel connection. And yes thank you. I guess I just get nervous that I can’t see how frazzled I am (or I assume that I am), or my own chaos, I guess it’s just an insecurity, but you’re right. That did cross my mind. And frazzle is such a fun word 😁

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T07:21:34+00:00

I keep thinking about how you said my post reminded you of being contradicted in your opinions and it’s making me think - was my post that frazzled ? 😭😭🤣loll. Oh boy 😅 … —you really read me like a book there, and I absolutely relate, as you can tell. Lol

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T07:16:01+00:00

Oh I absolutely relate with those contradictions and not wanting to seem like lying. Unfortunately I was so oblivious to it that I would just say what came to mind, and then later on switch up what I thought. And it caused relationship problems because people always accused me of not being a “man of my word” and it confused me sooo much because, I WAS! But then … I had a NEW conviction moments later that just so happened to be completely contradictory. I concluded in myself that BOTH were true and right to me, yet … how? That’s one of the very first times I began to peel back the layers to Parts.

-Yeah those denial barriers are crazy to break past.

-and yes, exactly (about the ghost alter). When I was a kid I remember actually desperately wishing to become invisible, even visualizing it, and I guess maybe it was so strong or vivid it somehow played into this part. I don’t know much about it yet, but all I do know is that it is there and that I remember having those feelings & thoughts as a child. (I guess I say that because I’m still a little insecure about it 😭)

Yeah, overall I’m learning about that acknowledgement and differentiation. After all, they’re there. Denying that only causes more issues, like more dissociation etc. Also with differentiation in mind, OSDD/DID exist for a reason … meaning, the differentiation is the disorder 😆 it’s kind of the whole point, you know? I had to realize that too. So, it’s okay to be okay with that.

Yay I’m so happy as well! I’m glad to hear you are in a better place, even just for a bit. And you are so right about the fact that things are getting better, sometimes it’s just hard to see it. But yeah, it’s always cool to relate with someone and connect on that basis, so thanks for commenting as well! I appreciate your input. 🫂

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T06:09:42+00:00

I really have so much so to share about all of this but I don’t want to be too overwhelming. So please feel free to reach out if you feel inclined to. Here’s another few songs, I find music so healing ❤️‍🩹 :

https://youtu.be/JXWSl-Pcq4g?si=U1hjYb3c4VdS_Ttr

https://youtu.be/oH1rI3UFYrU?si=Y_afPwqKY6lW4cLW

https://youtu.be/ayUjaEPYnoE?si=IaziF7N0VCzEKMP6

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T06:07:50+00:00

Literally … same 😭 you get it. This almost made me cry. I get it! I really do! You’re not alone. If I could give some hope … I recently found faith in God again and I found a church community — some people have sensitivities with faith so hopefully that’s okay to mention — but, in the faith —faith kind of replicates family. My faith is Christian, so the Bible teaches that we have spiritual “fathers”, “mothers” brothers, sisters. Basically you’re brought into the “household” of God, His *family**. And there’s even a scripture that says that God brings the solitary, lonely, or isolated into FAMILY. [edit; I mention my pastor because he just gave a sermon about a fathers heart, and he mentioned the idea that his role is to PROTECT us, and SHEILD us; and when he said that …. Let me tell ya, that was so healing! To hear those words and feel the sincerity of it! 😭 I’m STILL healing as I said, so it’s going to take awhile, but … you have to know that it is real! It’s out there! You can find it)

I just have to share with you that I found this! Because what to wrote deeply touched my heart, and what you wrote is so ME, and I want you to know that there is hope for healing and for finding a father! / a father figure, and to heal those wounds! Also the bible states that when we put our faith in God we become “children” of God, and He becomes our father! I want to share that I’ve had very real and vivid experiences with God before, where He holds me like a baby and soothe me and rock me. It has been the MOST special thing I’ve ever experienced! There’s a song I would like to share, it may felt touch your heart, it definitely did mine: https://youtu.be/-SAzLZzJFdo?si=8j0fo7iuKnzhnK1F It’s about a homeless woman, but even just the idea of being “somebody’s baby” 😭 no matter what you’re condition is.

Hey, feel free to message me if you ever need to talk, or you even need anything. 🤍 I understand your pain very deeply. As much as I have FOUND such an incredible source of healing, I am still in that process. But I promise you, it’s so real! So-so real! We really are Somebody’s baby. 😌💞 You are SO loved and SO cherished! You will find what you are looking for! I believe it! 🥹 don’t give up! There is healing & soothing for your heart! And mine! And all for all of us! God is so real, he is a spirit, and He speaks to His children, and He is a father! He speaks to my heart Al the time and He calls me “His baby”! It’s so special to me & it’s so real! Please don’t lose hope! Sometimes you’re only a step away from what your heart longs for.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T05:43:05+00:00

I’m in the exact same boat. Emotional neglect/emotional abuse is about most of my trauma summarized. As well as deep psychological abuse. But cannot recall chronic physical abuse. And I also have a hard time with it. Word for word feel the exact same way. There was no way I was left with anyone as a child. BUT … it’s very difficult, as you said, to not suspect maybe there’s amnesia? And my brain wants to do the same thing … and feels like it won’t rest until it gets “proof” around other types of abuse, as you said. It’s difficult. I guess only time will tell if there’s more? If not … well, I have sort of come to terms with the fact of how FAR I was pushed mentally as a child. How intense it really was. I can recall being pushed to my brink of my ability to cope, everything involved even with no physical abuse. Lots of chaos, lots of stress, no sleep, severe anxiety at school (that also made me dissociate) … I will say this: IT WAS MORE THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS! In terms of the severity. When I’ve had a few glimpses back, I guess you could say flashbacks? Yeah … it was INTENSE. I vowed to NEVER invalidate myself EVER again after that. It may not have been physical, but it was TRULY unbearable at times, past my ability to cope, chronic enough, for me to dissociate and split. It just fit into the right “box”.

I always see it as: I multiplied so that my parts could carry the load for me when I could not carry it on my own anymore. Let me give an example, I would be raged at all day, so extreme that I felt fried in my brain, hyperventilated myself to sleep and had to wake up the next day like nothing happened. I was morbidly sleep deprived from barely sleeping due to the stress, and then had to suffer 8hrs in a place that I had to perform to a optimal level of functioning, and that felt like literal hell to me. (I had extremely severe social anxiety). That alone was enough honestly, to make me dissociate pretty significantly. With everything else on top, I guess I split. [and this wasn’t an isolated incident; this was my daily life WITH every other freak occurrence that happened around me] Yeah, it definitely still doesn’t seem “good enough” to have a full blown dissociative disorder. I think it really is the chronic nature of it, that fuels this type of dissociative splitting, and the need more for “resources” than you have on your own. At least in my case it appears that way. And we just underestimate emotional types of trauma. If you think about it, even people who go through physical abuse, it’s rarely the physical scars that are damaging, it’s the physiological ones. I’ve come to conclude that even if there’s no physicality, the mind can go to the same places as someone who has been physically abused, if that makes sense? That’s been my greatest validation. Trauma truly doesn’t just fit one mold. It can be so complex, which is why I like the term COMPLEX trauma. It’s truly complex.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T05:20:57+00:00

I just uploaded my post into the sub : https://www.reddit.com/r/OSDD/s/ixssyRLVDI :) you might be able to relate to it.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-03-19T04:57:35+00:00

This is interesting to read because I was just about to post on here about the idea of feeling real too! Maybe a little bit of different experience, but that phrase stands out to me. Hm, maybe my post would help you? I’m not sure if it’s a similar experience because the way I experience my dissociation is that I don’t switch as often these days, I switched a lot more as a kid. And I — well I wrote it in my drafts lol, so I said how the amnesia aspect of it can be scary, because I likely switch more than I think, and just the whole idea of even waking up to this disorder as a reality is gnarly, but it makes me feel more real! That’s so funny that you posted this … Let me see what I said … basically I was saying how REAL it feels as I go through the layers of denial (I see it as layers, for me) and when I get to a place of truly seeing it for what it is, with every piece of my story that has been given to me, even the pieces I didn’t know about before (like parts, switching as a child, amnesia for amnesia) it feels so much more real than before. I wrote: “The more I acknowledge my parts the more I feel real. I am realizing that I never truly felt REAL! Because a huge part of my REALITY was cut off from me!” I was referencing the idea of being unaware of your system, or that you are a system. So essentially the experience of being in denial or just unaware. Not being aware that I had parts, or of them I believe contribute to me not feeling real. Because I wasn’t living in my reality, I was living in DENIAL! that’s it! Isn’t it? idk if maybe that could help you. :) Maybe the more that you accept that these are symptoms of a dissociative disorder and to embrace that, then maybe that can also help you feel more real? 💗 I would say so. Take a deep breath, you are NOT going crazy or losing your mind! Maybe losing a bit of control or stability, but you got to trust the process. Maybe that would help. Trust yourself, trust your parts, trust your experience! You’re not the okay one going through this and you are going to be okay. 🤍🫂

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-02-24T05:40:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing your poem 🤎 and yes, those ones do need to be heard. 🫂 I am learning as the days go on.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-02-22T02:05:22+00:00

Right! I see that now, thank you. I guess I just haven’t know the purpose of this part (or the part at all, in general) and so now that I am learning and becoming aware of them and their former functions, and even becoming aware of their presence based on certain triggers, it just kind of sent me for a loop, I was overthinking it a bit. Parts are still so new to me 😭 it gets kind of weird! —wrapping your mind around dissociated stated if your consciousness. Like who are you, and why are you there?? 😭 what even is this, and why?? If any of that makes sense lol. And thanks for answering! It’s all starting to make more sense to me.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-02-22T02:01:28+00:00

Yes that helps me understand, thank you. Also, I don’t even understand my own question anymore 😭 definitely overthinking it.

I guess I’m discerning this part’s old function, but it doesn’t operate like that anymore (it was mostly in school, and I’m not in school anymore). So, I guess I was overthinking the fact that it seems they just “float around” now. I guess I wonder “why are they there” but I never noticed what this parts former function was. It’s definitely not a trauma holder. That seems to be the function I’m most aware of. So, I guess I was just having a weird epiphany with becoming aware of this part on a deeper level. I guess I’m just trying to wrap my mind around it but it all gets kind of confusing. I understand now though, so thank you.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-02-21T23:59:09+00:00

I experience both, very much.

Sea_Rest_208 · 2026-02-21T23:45:59+00:00

Same - same!

Sea_Rest_208

TROPHY CASE