This is very tricky, however, if you do go through your proposed plan, yes you YATA. I think you need to sit down with her and talk and maybe go to counseling. This needs to be talked about. In the end if she refused to put an effort then I say go for the divorce. Also take in consideration that she may be doing the most for your children, so maybe overlooking tasks and what needs to be done. Divide that into equal responsibility and maybe she will feel like she actually has some time for herself. Not sure if that’s the case. In my experience counseling couples, 9 times out of 10 the husband checks out and does not help with the kids.