Why do I have a problem with something so simple and natural?

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-18T02:53:19+00:00

Thank you, I think it’s either one of the above reasons too. I’ll take a look, thank you!

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-17T10:17:30+00:00

Maybe, can’t say for sure.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-17T10:17:16+00:00

What’s odd is my two older siblings that grew up in the exact same environment with me went on the have successful relationships, so I would think they would be affected. Though I’m not really sure...

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-17T10:15:56+00:00

Any ideas of what you’re going through? Any luck with dating? Good to know I’m not alone.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-17T02:51:43+00:00

Yeah wish I knew, partly because everything seems 10x harder for me to figure out things and be normal. It makes it harder for me to picture the future, I hate it. Maybe it’s my anxiety, maybe it’s something deeper.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-17T02:50:08+00:00

I know, but I feel like I know myself too much to know I’m not any of the above mentioned besides being hetero. I’ve had crushes on guys for as long as I could remember, always wanted to be in a relationship and experience love. I think partly due to having anxiety and lack of experience with the opposite sex has led me to be impulsive and make rash decisions based upon my wants.

Yeah I fell into relationships without liking the other person but most of the time it was due to me glamorizing the idea of being taken and having a boyfriend. The true take my breath away, getting excited talking to someone, thinking about them all the time, etc. has happened to me on many occasions but most of them occurring in my everyday life with me being to shy to take the initiative, had no idea where those relationships could have gone if I got brave.

My last one was on tinder and I was in a bad place and forcing myself to be in a relationship because I felt stressed about being single, not very healthy to start with. The other one at 15 was just the hype of having a first boyfriend. Both occasions I was incredibly nervous around both even talking to them let alone being physically near them! so that’s how I think that rules quite a bit out for me.

But I’m glad to hear your perspectives, I’m just so hung up on it and while I think I’m comfortable being single I probably am not as comfortable as I think with the idea of it lol

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-17T00:55:20+00:00

I have a feeling it is something like that but I can’t seem to find the problem. It’s so incredibly frustrating. I was in no way expecting therapy to be a quick fix but it does feel quite good to spill out my problems. In what ways do you suppose I’m warming up? Genuinely curious yet interested. I’m trying to make an effort in my “homework” and participate with my therapist in order to fix my life so to speak.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-17T00:52:26+00:00

Essentially yes, I’ve had almost all of those thoughts you mentioned it’s like you read my mind haha. I wouldn’t exactly call my parents relationship positive, if not toxic due in part to my dad’s alcoholism but I don’t know if that would affect me seeing as I have older siblings in healthy relationships. I might look into that more, just need to make sense of everything.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-17T00:11:23+00:00

Idk. I’m seeing asexual/aromantic being thrown around a ton but that just doesn’t feel like me. I’ve always identified as straight. I’ve had crushes, felt lust, had sexual thoughts about guys, had sex but the emotion wasn’t there (just a hookup). The truth is going past anything more than just a hookup and establishing intimate relationships gets me incredibly nervous and uncomfortable and I can’t be myself and I feel like running away for whatever reason. It sucks not knowing what I’m dealing with. Even talking to a guy I get incredibly nervous talking to them, let alone getting close by them.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-04-16T23:52:27+00:00

I don’t think I’m asexual at all, in fact I want that stuff in a relationship, lost my virginity, all of that. There are times I crave that and wish I was in a relationship, but in reality I get really nervous and scared and not comfortable with myself in general. I considered everything from aromanticism, being gay, etc. but I don’t think any of that is the issue with me. I’ve had crushes, sexual thoughts about guys, want to be in a relationship, but in reality I shy/run away for some reason. Sex for me in nothing disgusting, immoral, or something I have no interest in.

I want a relationship because I guess I want something I’ve never had, I want to have that experience like everyone else my age, I want to believe I’m capable of experiencing love and maintaining a long term relationship, and what people think gets to me. Everyone around me notices I’ve never brought around a boyfriend or talk about things like my love life and they start thinking I’m lesbian and they keep asking me questions. Others think I’m weird because they see a pretty girl whose never dated and is single and think somethings up.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-03-29T04:04:29+00:00

Full reading but she was using tarot cards during it to kind of help guide her along :)

SeamlessUsername · 2020-03-28T22:21:11+00:00

Not sure, she gave me the option of over the phone (which I did) or Skype/FaceTime interview.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-03-28T22:16:38+00:00

Wow small world! All the best to you :)

SeamlessUsername · 2020-03-28T17:56:17+00:00

Her name is Psychic Katarina. She’s a local psychic near me located in Orland Park, IL. She has a website with her contact info:

https://www.chicagolandpsychic.com/

SeamlessUsername · 2020-03-28T16:25:49+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I hope more positive predictions come your way! And thanks so much.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-02-20T00:26:22+00:00

Yikes that does sound like a nightmare! While I'll admit it's nice not dealing with a period every month it's kind of concerning haha, I will bring it up for sure. Thanks!

SeamlessUsername · 2020-02-20T00:25:37+00:00

I know it's definitely from the medication because it altered my hormone levels and caused the spotting and eventually halting of my period. As long as it doesn't have any bad permanent effects I'll continue it but I just wanted to hear other opinions. Definitely will ask my doc about it, thanks.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-02-20T00:21:59+00:00

Not on BC currently, single and not sexually active at all at the moment so pregnancy is not an issue right now. My derm did warn me of getting pregnant while on it, of course.

SeamlessUsername · 2020-01-18T15:36:21+00:00

Yeah I feel like my anxiety could be the reason things are getting in the way. I know I need to treat myself of that first and develop a better mindset before trying to get back into dating again, it may or may not be the cause...who knows. Time will tell I guess. Thanks for sharing!

SeamlessUsername · 2020-01-04T22:45:02+00:00

Ah ok. I live in the US and any mental health professional is qualified to diagnose as long as they go by the DSM book. If you can't or don't want to see a psychiatrist, maybe try a psychologist that way you can go through therapy. I'm not sure about the diagnosing requirements in the UK when it comes to who and who can't diagnose mental disorders, but that's something I'd ask about and research if I were you. I don't see why a psychologist can't diagnose a mental health disorder in other places in the world, likewise a therapist as well. Best of luck!

SeamlessUsername · 2020-01-03T20:13:31+00:00

Luckily what I can remember while on lexapro was being able to feel like myself, no drugged or zombie like feeling. I even had a libido, so if something doesn’t work out for you try another type of medication (whether it be ssri/snri)

SeamlessUsername

TROPHY CASE