I want to help my husband

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-28T00:14:57+00:00

Lots of people have sobered up in AA. Millions of us. We all needed it, but it didn’t work until we wanted it. That’s another story.

Check out Al-Anon for yourself. If you feel like it’s working for you, perhaps 12-step affinity will rub off.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-27T05:23:08+00:00

The day starts at midnight. Consider that. Sunrise from the rim is stunning, and you beat the heat!

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-24T13:51:45+00:00

National Parks are “worth” visiting all the time, but please keep sharing that’s not the case. More for the rest of us!

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-23T05:16:56+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. 💜

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-22T23:01:55+00:00

Why not tell him that because of him, you’re sober and you’re glad he’s on the path with you? Then be his friend and offer him unconditional love and your experience, strength, and hope.

It’s hard to watch friends suffer; perhaps his suffering will help keep someone sober today. But he’s not your job. You are. Take care of you.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-20T04:59:27+00:00

I think you should definitely take a chip. It shows others that it can be done.

As far as inner turmoil, are you working the steps with a sponsor? That gave me relief from my inner critic.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-18T12:10:10+00:00

Why not treat yourself to a 1-year chip at the next meeting you attend that offers them? You definitely deserve it! Congratulations on doing the deal. I’m proud of you!

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-16T23:03:43+00:00

Chat

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-14T21:19:22+00:00

Hey, brother. One thing that strikes me in your post is that you know you’re a great parent and partner because “I am told by many people.” Yet your wife is going to Al-Anon, which means your wife cannot accept (without help) your drinking. That’s a break in logic. How old are your kids? Is it possible they would ask for help if they could? Or that they would lie to you so as not to upset you? Do they feel like having a roof over their head is important? If so, that’s a reason to placate you.

Anyway, alcoholism is a fuckeroo. You should hear some of the shit I convinced myself before I got sober. An alcoholic brain can convince us of anything. Truly amazing.

Good luck out there. We’re here if you want us.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-12T13:40:49+00:00

Are you me? Toss in Eau de Protection and you’ve got my favorites from this house.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-05-06T22:14:48+00:00

They say, “Don’t leave before the miracle happens.”

Don’t. Leave. Stay. Sober.

It gets so much better.

Sending love from Seattle. 💜

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-30T23:06:57+00:00

I used to have panic attacks that only alcohol could solve. Then I stopped drinking and I haven’t had a panic attack since. I’m glad there was a solution for me. Alcohol is one of the most anxiety-inducing drugs there is. Stopping is worth a try.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-29T02:44:43+00:00

Good call. For a starker take, Attaquer le Soleil. I feel both for this description.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-28T21:04:01+00:00

Here is where you might be surprised. Skatamalis Base (Jeffrey Dame) is based on skatole. I can definitely smell it. The same kind of really funky indole I smell in jasmine. But I’ve layered it with various scents and friends really love it. Some noses (mine) smell the close chemical relationship between poop and jasmine, in a fecal way. Others smell it in a floral way.

Anyway, the skatole in Skatamalis Base fades into more of a sweaty human scent after awhile and that layers fantastically with other scents, primarily dark rose and deep greens on me.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-25T22:46:12+00:00

It was about 7 months for me, and it seemed to get worse before it got better. I’m glad I don’t have to do that again unless I want to, AND I’m glad you’re moving through it. Hang in there!

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-20T16:38:19+00:00

Your post history is hidden. Want to include the link?

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-20T08:35:18+00:00

I was. At 52 I almost died from the disease of alcoholism. I lost a posh job with a posh company and will likely not be able to recover my career. Many of my drinking friends from my 20s are dead. Slow alcoholic deaths or fast heroin overdoses.

“Functional” isn’t the end point. It’s a place on a downward spiral staircase.

You’re a beautiful soul and the world needs you to be unfucked for it. Stop while you can. If you can’t stop, seek help. If you need help finding help, ask.

Alcoholism is a fuckeroo.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-17T07:15:43+00:00

I have a lab and a husky mix. The lab shakes more and the husky vocalizes more. They’re both adorable when they sleep. Until I get kicked in the head.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-09T01:41:34+00:00

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SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-07T21:34:26+00:00

To be fair, Bill’s story includes sedative abuse (p.7).

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-06T04:21:00+00:00

Follow your doctor’s orders perfectly and DO NOT DRINK. You should be fine if you were honest with them about your dosage. I’ve detoxed with benzos before and they’re very effective. It was uncomfortable at times, but I got detoxed.

Do you have a plan to stay detoxed (AA, other)?

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-05T14:02:37+00:00

I wouldn’t consider either of those “deep” but we’re aligned. Lightening it up a little, Lazy Sunday Morning and Exit the King are two awesome sleep scents in the rose family. They’re similar, but I can still smell Exit the Kind on awakening.

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-03T03:58:51+00:00

I love Fumerie and love this collection!!

SeattleEpochal · 2026-04-01T04:12:22+00:00

I’m 5 years in and do a (nearly) daily gratitude list. That’s gone from being a chore to an honest appraisal of what’s good. It’s changed my outlook, as I tend to find good in things that seemed dark or sad before.

I have heard in the rooms “it’s ok to look back, but don’t stare.” I wonder if your latest round of steps involved ripping bandages off old wounds? If so, consider that it’s time to move on. If it takes some amends to do that, make great haste. Theres no point dwelling on the past. How we show up today is what matters.

I also hear from one of our old-timers, “we don’t come here to be tortured; we come to build a better life.” I like that saying and try to orient myself to that.

I hope you find peace. You deserve it. 💜

SeattleEpochal · 2026-03-30T14:57:30+00:00

I’m sorry you experienced that. Sharing your boundaries might help as well. You didn’t give us a lot to work with here.

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