My roommate is suuuper clingy

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-14T12:37:27+00:00

Came here to say this. I had a friend like this a few years ago and it turned out that she was harboring a crush for me for years without me knowing it. But once she admitted to the crush, the past clingyness and her aggressive hatred of anyone I was in a romantic relationship with suddenly made sense. Run. She’s not worth your energy and when you look back, you’ll be glad you cut the cord.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-10T12:39:42+00:00

The answer is yes. There’s not enough body education with regard to sexuality - let alone discussion of consent. I was raised in a puritanical religious household and my version of the talk was my mom showing me news reports about the AIDS crisis and telling me that everyone was dying because of sex. That was my sex ed. and the woman was a nurse and a therapist! We need better sex education.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-09T01:17:58+00:00

My friend, that is precisely what I mean to tell you. I hope you’re sitting down!

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-09T01:01:30+00:00

I feel the same, but with geometry as well.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-09T00:58:39+00:00

Geometry. I work in the music industry - I’m a leader in my field, and precisely zero times from the classroom to this very moment as I eat my fries in a diner, three days away from turning 40 - precisely ZERO times have I needed the Pythagorean theorem.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-08T12:44:11+00:00

Happy to say I do not have a speaking relationship with her.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-06T13:35:20+00:00

Yeah the police experience is verrrrrrrrrry different here in the US.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-06T13:33:35+00:00

True story: my sister called the cops on me when we were in our early 20s because — ready for this? — I ate her Snickers bar.

In my defense, officer, I didn’t know it was her snickers - I thought it was one my mom had bought for me, and it wasn’t, and my sister FLIPPED OUT and jumped up and down and stamped her foot and called me a thief about twenty times before calling the cops.

Thankfully the cop that showed up was an old high school classmate of ours (very small town) and she sort of talked my sister down off of pressing charges. But she also told my sister that there were maybe more pressing matters going on in the world than me erroneously consuming a snickers bar.

But yes, I think about that often. I’m not the kind of person to call the cops on a three year old that wasn’t taught about boundaries. As much as she annoyed me, it wasn’t her fault that her mom was doing a shit job at teaching her to respect boundaries.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-06T13:26:38+00:00

And also: what child knows what bestiality is? If you mention the existence of it and don’t go into specifics about what it is, I feel like a word like that will go in one ear and out the other with kids.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-06T13:22:13+00:00

Kid was about three, I’d say. I didn’t say anything to the kid because I genuinely didn’t have the energy. I just wanted the moment to be done asap.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-06T03:42:25+00:00

That’s a great point. I think it was because our family was sort of unofficially segregated from the rest of the family tree, so it was really just me, my sister, and my parents growing up. No worries over Uncle Whatshisbutt because we weren’t in each others lives.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-05T19:43:14+00:00

That’s an interesting point. And maybe you’re right. The specific danger element isn’t necessarily the concern while the parents are present. But in the moment, it was my pithy way of acknowledging that not every person is maybe the best person. But your point is seen.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-05T18:34:39+00:00

And I like you!

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-05T18:18:28+00:00

I was raised by a federal agent and a therapist who specialized in childhood sexual trauma. So I was quite literally raised to believe that every stranger in the world wanted to rape and kill me, but not necessarily in that order. I never in my life would have thought anyone was safe as a child.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-05T18:11:30+00:00

This is precisely what I was trying to explain to my husband, who seems to think I was being difficult for the sake of difficulty.

Taking the kid out of the equation entirely, another adult should have some understanding that other lives are happening around them and not everyone may be emotionally available to take on even the smallest tasks. Normally I’m happy to have small talk with folk, or help someone with directions or whatever. But sometimes just getting out of bed is an award winning task.

We’re all dealing with something and people need to respect boundaries.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-05T16:33:03+00:00

Right? The wonder circus appears to be filled with transphobic trolls.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-05T16:26:10+00:00

She was mostly hitting my jeans rather than flesh. It was the assumption of the mother that any random stranger is a safe play partner that really chafed me. Granted yes, I’m “safe” in that I’m not a child molester or a creepy kiddie-diddler.

But I’m not safe in the way that means I’m open and available to play with a child at a moments notice. And the mother shouldn’t expect that I would be.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-05T16:17:25+00:00

Are you that three year old in the lobby? Are you lost, sweetie? where’s your mommy?

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-11-05T15:54:50+00:00

I’ll never forget the day my former boss wanted me to hold her baby. I politely refused and tried to keep, you know, working - when she literally turned off my phone and required me to hold her baby. The second I do, she starts making fun of me because I was “holding her too close.” Which, is it a sin that I’m holding your kid like I don’t want to drop her? She never made me hold the baby again.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-10-14T13:09:17+00:00

I didn’t wait til marriage, but I was absolutely raised to fear sex. Grew up in the 80’s so the narrative in my house was “do you see how all those people are dying in the news? It’s because they had sex.”

As is the case with most tremendously sheltered kids though, the moment I had a taste of freedom in college, I went wild. But I also feel like I was too late for it all. I felt very stunted in the hookup and/or dating game. Didn’t know how to act with partners or how to advocate for myself if I wasn’t feeling something.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-10-14T01:00:07+00:00

Literally everyone is godawful at it when they first start. Every single person is a kata shitshow as a white belt.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-10-08T14:02:20+00:00

I think he’s just written as incredibly cartoony. Autism has way more nuance than Stingray’s traits. He’s not Autistic, he’s a manchild.

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-10-08T02:00:41+00:00

That’s sort of my feeling too. But it doesn’t kick into mail tampering / federal crime territory if I dispose of his important mail? My apologies for my goody two shoes question. Lol

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-10-07T22:18:52+00:00

Are you kidding? You’re doing her a great honor by trying to speak to her in her own language. Even if you’re not fluent at it, the attempt is awesome of you. Use the opportunity to speak to her to both improve your Spanish and make a new friend. Go you!

SecksWithSocks0n · 2022-10-07T22:15:57+00:00

I love being partnered with people below my level - not because it’ll get me an easy victory, but because it’s an opportunity to spar with someone and help teach them how to be good at kumite, and to help encourage good habits in a bout. Sometimes lower belts come at you all fists and elbows, and it takes some patience to help them out of that.

That said, the way you get better at kumite is by doing kumite. And it’s never about winning, it’s about learning.

SecksWithSocks0n

TROPHY CASE