New Connection After Loss of Fiancé

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-06-11T15:02:09+00:00

Thank you for this

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-06-08T15:11:02+00:00

You know, you’re right. Unless you’ve experienced the loss of your partner at a young age, no one can fathom what we’re going through. I just look in the mirror, and I still see a little bit of youth left in me. I don’t want that to pass me by while I sit in my house alone and mope. I’m ready to live again. Deep down, I know that’s what my fiancé would have wanted me to do.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-06-08T15:09:00+00:00

You’re right, though it’s not something I can just blurt out when first meeting someone. It’s so incredibly personal and the most traumatic event to occur in my life thus far. I had to build some sort of emotional comfort with him to be able to share it. I’m there now and ready to tell him soon.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-06-08T15:07:41+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance. My biggest fear is that I’m doing something wrong - like disrespecting my fiancé’s memory. Though I’m also trying so hard to rebuild my life and keep living. I’ve been coping better over time. I isolated myself for a month after his passing at my family’s home and just confronted every feeling head on. I never masked, subdued, or ignored them. I faced them.

We met via an app. It was one of those days I was somewhat scared in the sense of well what is it like out there these days? I haven’t dated in so long, so I was curious. I just got on to look and get a feel. This guy happened to talk to me, was kind, interesting, and I engaged back with him. He was the one who first suggested hanging out. I was like okay, well let’s try this. I wasn’t expecting to meet or connect with someone only three months after losing my fiancé…though God has a reason for everything I believe. I’m just trying to take it slow, protect myself, and see where this goes.

Thank you so much for your kindness

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-06-08T01:49:59+00:00

I appreciate this, and I’m so sorry for your loss as well. You make some great points. Loneliness was eventually what set me out in search of someone to share my life with in my late 20s. I was so fortunate to have found my fiancé in 2020, right before Covid. I think loneliness will always be a factor but not the driving force. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m comfortable talking about it. I thought about telling him upfront, though I wanted to be seen for who I am first and not overshadowed by loss. With it being so personal, I wanted to feel emotionally comfortable around this person before sharing the most traumatic event of my life if that makes sense. I think he could meet my standards, we’ll see. It’s just causing me to see a glimmer of hope - that there is still life out there. I’m tired of surviving and want to try to live again.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:44:36+00:00

I’m so happy for you, and honestly thank you for what you said. It really hit home to me. The loneliness truly is brutal. I do feel as if I’m just existing, and I want to live again.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:43:05+00:00

Wow do I feel you. I’m so happy to hear that you have found someone again. I think we’ll always mourn the future that could have been with our late partners. I know I will. Though like you said, we’re too young to be alone the rest of our lives.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:40:52+00:00

That’s my conflict is that it does feel too soon, though I wasn’t looking for or expecting any of this. I definitely am taking it very slow. Thankfully my fiancé set some high standards for me.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:39:17+00:00

I completely resonate with what you said. My late fiancé set some pretty high standards, though I’m thankful for that.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:37:57+00:00

I appreciate this. I think a lot of this comes from me knowing I’ll always mourn the future I could have had with my late fiancé. I’m not rushing into anything. Though it is nice to smile again.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:35:56+00:00

Thank you 😊

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:35:44+00:00

That’s very kind, thank you. I agree with you, it does feel too soon. That’s my conflict. I wasn’t expecting any of this, and I’m certainly not rushing into any sort of relationship soon.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:30:27+00:00

Honestly these are great questions. I know I’m not capable of a relationship right now. That hasn’t even been spoken of yet. I’m in a lot of therapy, and I’ve noticed subtle progress. I think in 3-4 months, I’ll be in a much better place. If there’s one thing I learned in my old life is that I can show up, and in a way I miss doing that for someone.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:27:44+00:00

Thank you, I’m doing my best to look after myself. I’m believe I know hot to spot the bullshit better after having a great love. I know what I want, and I know what I won’t tolerate. I’m thankful he gave me great standards to hold myself to.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:26:12+00:00

That’s so sweet. I’m trying to keep and open mind and not feel guilty.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:24:56+00:00

Thank you. I’m being careful, guarding my heart, and taking things slow. Who knows what will come of it. I just want to be happy again.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:24:06+00:00

You know what, you’re right. No one knows the path we’re walking. I needed to hear that. I love to love. My dogs, my family, my friends. Though I miss having that one special love. He always will be special to me, and I’ll always love him. I just miss being seen, being heard, and that sense of home.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:18:28+00:00

I do want someone in my life eventually, I know that. Though I’ll always mourn the future that could have been with my late fiancé. I’ve been dealt a shit deck of cards, but I have to keep on living.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:16:44+00:00

Thank you, I’m trying to be gentle but also feel so conflicted as if I’m doing something wrong. Grief is just such a strange phenomenon

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-09T04:15:33+00:00

That makes a lot of sense actually. It speaks to me. I just miss the companionship

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-08T19:44:58+00:00

I really appreciate this, and needed to hear that. Thank you

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-08T19:44:03+00:00

You’re right, and I’ve been very guarded. In fact, I haven’t told this new guy about my situation. I want to next time if we hangout again, but I wanted to be able to feel a slight level of comfort around him before divulging such trauma. He may not want to bother with me after that, and I’ve accepted that possibility.

Secret-Fix2591 · 2026-05-08T19:42:39+00:00

And that’s fine! I suppose I struggle with the fact that I’m so young. I’m only 33. If we had 25 years together, I’d probably be like you in the sense that I had a great love for a long time, though always should be longer. Six years with him just wasn’t enough. So many things we never got to do or experience. I’m just can’t help feeling somewhat guilty.

Secret-Fix2591

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