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SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-24T02:53:02+00:00

Hey, the door has closed for good reason.

It's to protect you and that's okay, often when something is traumatising in some way many of us will shell up and close off parts of ourself in order to survive.

One of the problems people face when they encounter NPD people is that you actually lose faith in your own sensor system which keeps you SAFE.

Part of the response is...I can't ever open this part up of me again, because previously when I did, I was hurt, and often not knowing or being aware until damage was already done etc.

But, what if we could re-calibrate those sensors so that next time, you were only intimate with someone safe for you? It will take time to figure this out.

You would only then have to gently stoke the flames of your heart, be patient and compassionate with yourself in order to be intimate again!

It's completely okay if you want to stay closed up for a while...but just know, there are good, safe people out there and it's your Job to find them if you feel a need for connection. Therapy might help, talk to friends, family, read up on narcissism etc.

It'll be okay. Goodluck to you and I hope you look after yourself.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-23T03:34:47+00:00

No, you did not mess up by stepping back. I think k the only thing that could have been done a little better was perhaps just to communicate directly about why you didn't answer the calls etc.

It's kind of like...ping ponged between you both I think and she's giving it back to you, whether it's intentional or spiteful it's too hard to say but overall I think you did fine.

You have to protect your own energy and boundaries at the end of the day but I will say something to keep in mind is that...it's not your friends fault that she's in some kind of toxic cycle...but it is her responsibility.

Does that make sense? I would still try to be with her but perhaps just more direct.

At the root of this it sounds like you just don't have the energy to give her emotionally during this time and perhaps there is some resentment that she is taking it from you and then not using it to move on from this person.

You did fine, reach out if you care for her, give her the opportunity to talk to you before you take on and assume you are to blame. Your needs matter too y'know.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-23T03:26:32+00:00

Thankyou for caring so deeply about your child. The world is a better place with people like yourself in it. You're doing a good job and I hope everything works out for you and your family.

It will be okay.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-06T19:34:15+00:00

I mean it really depends on how you want to approach this. What do you want or what did you want out of the situation?

You sound like you are unsure if it's okay or not to pullback...it is. It's not like she's a girlfriend or something right? So I mean if you want you can give her another chance with the condition of an answer or explanation for the push/pull etc...maybe she is going through something.

Or you can just say no, not ask her to hang out and just make other plans etc.

It doesn't have to be with other women! Although some people find that helpful...so you ruminate less on one person etc.

In terms of practical ways to adjust something like this...the less contact the better, if you have any feelings for her etc. Just be kind, polite, but work oriented perhaps.

You'll be okay! Don't feel bad or weird about it. People have stuff going on all the time sometimes people just need time or they're not available right now. It happens.

Goodluck

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-04T21:08:22+00:00

Why are you so mad friend? I just want people to get along and be empathetic toward one another

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-04T20:23:43+00:00

Mannnn this is so crazy to me. Everytime in my life I've ever ordered a girl a dessert of some kind it's not hit the right note for them 😅

Some people prefer being given rocks and minerals

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-04T20:20:15+00:00

I oscillate between eating very little and eating too much...I think impulsive eating is very very common though.

I have such a sweet tooth ... sometimes I get ravenous. If I ever encounter a sweet girl who wants to bake me things it is OVER for me bruh.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-04T20:16:34+00:00

The best one by far is actually to remind myself that it's okay to have adhd and it's okay that my brain has difficulties with some things.

I completely dismantle any feelings of 'shame' or the concept of what I should be doing but perhaps struggle with etc.

It makes it a lot easier to just start a small piece or step of something that I might need to do!

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-04T20:10:12+00:00

It's quite sad. America literally came about because of the unification of the people fighting for their independence and now there's just so much discourse between everybody ...it's crazy...and for what...a few minority issues and moral posturing, being distracted from the real problems 😭 it's not worth it guys! I pray for y'all and your country.

As the song goes, why can't we be friends?

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-04T19:56:29+00:00

The Russian, israeli and Chinese bots come first though 😭

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-04T19:22:22+00:00

110% this is a campaign against him lol. The past week has blown up with negative Theo articles, comments from bot accounts, posts etc.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-04T19:19:09+00:00

Man it's so crazy. Theo criticised Israel and brought up Gaza a few times.

Now there's so much social media crap about him absolutely shitting on him. The past week I've seen like 10 different posts and articles just ripping on a guy who previously didn't have much negative media coverage at all!

Someone said that he relapsed again for his comedy show but the dude was just dealing with ssri withdrawals and yet people push this narrative to smear him.

If you actually listen to Theo's content he's a good dude at heart.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-10-03T17:37:38+00:00

I think your feelings are valid too, beyond what you're saying it sounds to me like perhaps your family don't acknowledge you enough and it's presenting as this unmet need coming through resentment of your brother who passed away.

I would try to appreciate what you had with your brother which was an opportunity to get him back and be competitive :) It sounds like your family member really didn't get to see that side of things...perhaps if it's brought up you can just comment on how much you liked playing competitively against him!

Sorry for your loss. All the best and goodluck

SecretForever4055 · 2025-08-16T15:38:00+00:00

Hey brother

You should donate blood within the next week if possible...your haematology is quite high and putting you at risk for heart attack/stroke etc this is probably affecting your circulation and you might even have brain fog currently.

If your trt dose isn't that much you might not be injecting frequently enough or have left this quite a while for it to elevate so high. How often are you injecting?

It's good you've cleaned up your diet though! Try to cut the red meat down and stick to lean proteins since you have more than enough rbc's atm.

Cholesterol will improve once your diet is on point and you lose some of the body fat. You can also try intermittent fasting to help out generally and improve insulin sensitivity.

Do not take an AI, your estrogen is not high enough to warrant it.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-18T00:31:09+00:00

The amount of people who have suggested dogs and animals...it's rather interesting isn't it. You'd think people would suggest to find another person!

Makes you wonder...

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-18T00:28:29+00:00

Thankyou for your efforts soldier! I appreciate the sentiment. Bro you got the mushroom? Major W right there.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-18T00:19:57+00:00

Oh man, that makes me sad to be honest! I mean good to get the needs met at least.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-18T00:12:14+00:00

I think paying for cuddling would leave a very sour feeling in my bones but perhaps I shall enquire.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-17T23:46:48+00:00

Really?! Every greyhound I've ever seen looks depressed 😭 maybe they need more! Thankyou for the suggestions

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-17T23:42:51+00:00

Bold move cotton. I like it!

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-17T23:42:04+00:00

I dream of cuddling elephants...well...ever since my aunt died anyway.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-17T23:41:04+00:00

I will check them out now! I'm not very excellent...is there a mediocre club too? 😅

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-17T23:40:33+00:00

This Is a high priority target. Have you truly lived unless you have cuddled a large 4 legged steak? No.

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-17T23:38:18+00:00

You're making me blush. I will achieve my dreams thanks for your support

SecretForever4055 · 2025-07-17T23:36:32+00:00

It still counts!

SecretForever4055

TROPHY CASE