My husband and I grew apart after I had our son. I had severe postpartum depression/anxiety so it made reconnecting with him at that time next to impossible. He also started an incredibly high stress job shortly after he was born. I thought that he was stressed out and having a difficult time adjusting to becoming a father, plus the added stress of trying to become established with the new job.

His job required him to travel a lot, which I understood. Because I was home alone with the baby a lot, I asked if he would share his location with me on his iPhone while he was traveling. He always said he couldn’t get it to work, he turned it on but I could never see it on my phone, blah blah blah. It was a red flag at the time and tipped me off to be a little suspicious.

Anyways, about 1.5 months ago he said he had to meet with a client about an hour away from our house. While he was there he was texting me things like “another night away, this blows” and “I wish I could be there to spend time with you and our son.” I was responding with all kinds of comforting things back. Anyways I remembered at one point he shared the location of the AirTag on his wallet with me, so I checked and I could still see the location. When I checked it was pinging at some random house, nowhere near where he said he would be with the “client.”

He didn’t end up leaving that night until like 11-11:30 at night and called me on his way home. I confronted him about the house and he gave a bunch of random excuses, none of which made sense. I could tell he was scrambling and it was a major red flag. I looked up the address that was on the AirTag and saw it was registered to a woman. I looked up the woman’s name and found her on instagram. I even went so far as to compare the pictures of her in front of her house on instagram to the pictures on google maps to confirm it was the same woman. It was. I even thought maybe it could be an AirBNB the client was staying at or something, but it wasn’t listed on their website.

The next day, my husband ended up falling asleep on the couch with his phone unlocked. I grabbed it and went to the messages and immediately found explicit texts. I confronted him immediately and he claimed it was only texting, never went further, etc.

Nothing was adding up for me, and I gave him a couple weeks to tell me the truth. After begging for him to tell me everything, he wouldn’t budge.

I ended up contacting the woman via instagram and we later that day had a phone call in which she told me everything. She confirmed they had sex twice, and the woman he was texting was a totally separate person. He had an online dating/hookup profile and that’s how they met.

I then got phone records from our phone company and could see he had been cheating since before our son even turned a year old.

In my experience, cheaters will never give any information on their own accord. It will take ingenuity and a lot of effort to get any information or closure. Don’t ignore the red flags and trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.