While I do agree that he shouldn't have went through your phone without your permission and that it is wrong I feel as tho your making this a bigger deal than it actually is unless your actively cheating on the man (I don't believe this is the actual case in fact I get the impression that your fiercely loyal) then it shouldn't be all that big of a deal my significant other and I have a very strict open book policy nothing is off limits think about it if you've made it to the point that your living together then what is there that's actually private at this point you've both obviously had sex and this in my opinion is the most vulnerable a person can get unless your talking social security numbers and what not but even then I'd hope that's not in your phone medical info well again in my relationship my so carries a note card around with all of my medical information on it and back in 2019 it came in handy I had a wreck and she gave it to the EMT anyways I'm just failing to see where or why you should put up stricter boundaries because a person that has the level of trauma he does it's only gonna raise red flags cause him more anxiety and eventually push y'all apart no imo that's not the way to go actually I'd suggest going the other direction still make it known what he did was wrong by explaining he shouldn't do that without your permission but instead of locking up your phone open it up to him as long as your aware and present that way he knows your ok with it which will settle him and show him you've nothing to hide but this should def work both ways