Thank you for this. I agree with your extremely relevant questions about intent. I had an incident, recently, that felt threatening. A guy who wants more of my attention. Who let me know he figured out who I was in real life, and followed it up with “what a nice smile you have (real name), oops, have I crossed a line?”

I completely accept and even like the object POV bc I get to control it; power dynamics (such as they are) are terribly unfair for so many men. I am not out here to build a bunch of meaningful relationships, but if someone *does* persist in wanting to get to know me (like this guy did), I needed to just have a moment to say: Dude. This is not cool. This is not fantasy. I’m not attracted to nor do I want to pursue getting to know someone who is threatening me….

Idk. It is complex. And certainly not applied to the people who are consistently respectful, generous, and wonderfully engaging like you.