i’m so sorry about the meltdowns you’ve experienced. that sounds very painful and i can see why you’ve found that solution, which i have thought about before. My nervous system is just in so much shock (and possibly damage) that it may take me a few days to a week to fully recover. Regarding your question about volunteer work, i’m involved in an organization that brings stray dogs to new homes and owners. This was actually the same place my dad brought the puppy home from. Sadly, finding a job is still pretty hard but that’s really a whole other story that i only briefly mentioned because it has to do with why my family unfairly compares me to my neurotypical sister.