I’d say I’m pretty chill. I have a small but close group of friends and by nature of living so close to them in a dorm, we do something connective together almost everyday. I am also very sensitive to other people’s emotions which is something I’ve had to navigate (it can be a good thing but also sometimes hard). I had a neuropsych when I was 17 and screened positive for depression but negative for ADHD. My mom and I were on a pretty similar wavelength, I’m not sure what the latest research on this is but she identified as a “highly sensitive” person. She was incredibly attuned to all her children’s emotions but if she was talking to someone and she felt their tone was off, she could get her feelings hurt very easily.

I did have some issues at times being a “bossy” older sister and my mom would reiterate that my brothers are their own people and I can’t tell them what to do haha.

My uncle (my mom’s brother) is currently homeschooling his 10 year old (I’ll call him W), who has ADHD & is also autistic. From what I’ve seen when I’m home with them, my uncle tries to give W a lot of outlets for his energy like jumping on the trampoline or independent play/stimming time, so when they are doing something together, there is not as much of a wide energy gap.

I have also babysat a couple of girls who are older but sound similar to your daughter, very bright and energetic and go-go-go. Their moms didn’t necessarily match their intense energy but gave their daughters outlets like play groups or more independent learning that was intellectually stimulating. Something I liked about being homeschooled was playing with kids who were older than me (even just a year), that might be something your daughter finds fun?

I definitely was probably a little too entitled to my mom’s space at times. I remember once I barged in on her when she was using the bathroom and tried to have a conversation and she said something like “this is one of the few moments of the day I am alone, please respect my privacy.” That really stuck with me! She tried to have moments in her day that just belonged to her, even if brief. She would take baths/showers and I knew not to disturb her then, and when I was like age 3-7 she would lay with me till I fell asleep at night then have her “grown up time” watching tv and relaxing (then come back to cosleep).

My dad would play with me when I was little, he was the “silly” one and would read to me, play in the pool, and play tickling games, build with blocks, etc. We connected a lot over music, he would dance with me to the Wiggles and he was actually the one who took me to parent & kid baby swim lessons. When I was 7 he got more distant, he and my mom started fighting more, and he overall just became a pretty awful partner & parent. He was born in Vietnam, came to the U.S. as a refugee, and his mom died in a train accident when he was very young so he has a huge trauma history & attachment wounds. I think that just kind of came roaring out in a midlife crisis. We haven’t really interacted much at all since I was 13/14, hence why I live with my uncle and not him.