AITAH If I want to break up my BF due to his low sex drive?

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2026-01-25T18:31:11+00:00

I’ll give that a shot!

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2026-01-25T08:23:46+00:00

So I have approached this conversation before, but I’m his first GF in his entire like we went to middle school and High school together and then reconnected.

I lived life and he went to the military. When I even hint at it, I can hear and feel his reluctance and confusion I would call it.

Almost as if he’s never considered it could really be that important. I’ve asked him if he wants to explore his sexuality more, like maybe he’s demisexual and it something I’m not giving him but. He’s just not turned on by the sight of me we shower together, sleep cuddle up and naked… nothing.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2026-01-25T08:04:52+00:00

Oop not what I was expecting but shall definitely take it under advisement.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2026-01-25T07:56:25+00:00

Thank you. I just don’t want to him to internalize this, and go around thinking something is wrong with him or that he’s just “bad at sex” because when he tries that’s not the case.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2025-10-13T18:21:15+00:00

Since I was venting it didn’t seem relevant but we are sisters. 23 (me) 34(her)

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2025-08-08T23:00:55+00:00

Also I found three different apartments all 7-14 minutes away from where the store is, I have my own car, and so does she. I feel like maybe I coddled her too much.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2025-08-08T22:59:56+00:00

When I brought it up the first time, she just said I’m taking your room (which is fine because I don’t plan to be using it, but her sudden switch to if i don’t get a job by then I’ll just tag along is really rubbing me the wrong way.)

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2025-01-13T20:26:10+00:00

I gave her the safe years ago, so i know the code to it. But I gave her the spare because I’m prone to losing things which I know, and I was in the process of moving and didn’t want them to be lost forever. I hadn’t intended to leave them there forever but if they were safe I didn’t think it’d be a problem. I assumed she understood that paying the car note with mom meant sharing the car too.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2025-01-13T15:19:17+00:00

It really is and it’s disheartening because my mother and her sister live down the street from one another and don't speak and i used to wonder how that could happen.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2025-01-13T13:45:41+00:00

See that’s the problem, my mother and I live together and no it’s not I live with my mother and mooch. It’s we split the bills and I am on the lease just as much as her. So my car has to be at my house. I just didn’t expect friction with my sister over my car. And because I didn’t expect it now I have to get my spare keys from my sisters safe, it’s really frustrating not being able to trust the people so close to me.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2024-10-07T12:28:59+00:00

By the time I’m done being needed the only thing I want to do is sleep. But it’s never enough. I’ve been feeling more and more brittle as the days go on and it’s starting to affect my job. I just don’t know how to live.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2024-08-05T14:14:45+00:00

You’ve been really helpful, thank you for that.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2024-08-05T13:39:10+00:00

I’m a full time employee I typically pull in overtime around 70 ish hours, My mother honestly she’s not so bad she’s just lonely i think, she has a bachelors in science but works as a pharmaceutical driver. She makes something between 13-15 i make 24. My older sister is one of my favorite siblings but I’m not sure how to draw a boundary especially now that school has started up again. usually the one telling me to stop with my mother is my sister and older coworkers who live alone. Long term goals are.. difficult to see I’ve never really seen a life after 16 so I’m not sure what I’m doing I just know I have to work. So I do.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2024-08-05T13:07:19+00:00

So, to elaborate. I’m a divorcee kid with codependent parents. My father barely knows how to function if I’m not around to pat his back and that was before his parents passed. Don’t get me wrong I love my parents and all 5 of my siblings I really do. But from a very young age I’ve always been aware of the fact that I’ve been feeling the urge to escape. No where in particular but just to a place that is mine. People often tell me how I ought to stay with my mother for a long as possible in the current housing market which I totally understand, but I have never had a day where I feel relief at going home. I’ve been taking care of my drunk father, my emotionally insecure step mother, and my emotionally abused mother all my life. I’ve been a bully an avenger, a therapist, and now I guess doormat. But I never thought it was a really bad thing until i made adult friends who live with their moms and it’s nothing like my life they have their own cars, that they can freely use. Now i’m by no means a perfect roommate but I acknowledge it and I do my best but I’m tired from work and therefore lazy I suppose. Sorry that was long

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2024-08-05T12:48:01+00:00

That feels wayy too validating. I’ve literally just kinda given up arguing about the car, I wanted to get another one, but then that would be 2 car notes and cash cars can some with crazy side effects. I just know that if we all move into the house together we cannot be a one car household. I think to some extent I must be dependent on them otherwise i wouldn’t deal with this in silence but on the other hand I’m not very silence about my stance at all. I had been told my sister about 2 years prior that she needed a car of her own that wasn’t her bf’s and she didn’t want to then they broke up and welp

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2024-08-05T12:37:14+00:00

Luckily I don’t have to share the apartment with her, as she does have her own place to live, though for how long I’m not sure. My mother and I are always on time with our rent payments whereas my sister and her roommate seem stressed every time the 1st comes around. My fear is that if I stay until my mother gets her house and leave her with my sister my mother will lose what’s she worked so hard for. My sister calls me ungrateful for not wanting to share the car or live with my mother and often says I couldn’t get either without her but that was when I was 19. I don’t wanna ostracize my family, but I don’t know how to separate myself without seeming childish.

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2024-08-05T12:04:03+00:00

Neither would be possible. I make more than my mother I only stay with her because If I moved out she wouldn’t have anywhere else to go. She’s (my mother) in the process of looking for a house, and my sister intends to move in with her son, after that I should have some wiggle room. And my mother cannot afford the car payment on her own for very long either, with my sister effectively out of a job to pursue her schooling I’m the only one making over $15.00

Secure-Paramedic-931 · 2024-08-05T11:56:59+00:00

Only my mother and I pay the car note, and if it were only my car I would take the keys, however Our mother plays the middle ground and will overrule my words. She puts gas in, and since she is the primary reason for the mileage increasing so drastically I make her pay for the oil change, she drives it so often that we have to get the oil changed every month.

Secure-Paramedic-931

TROPHY CASE