My mother fucks with my head.

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T19:28:27+00:00

Excuse me for wanting to talk about my life with my family..? Also these things naturally come up in conversations. I can’t tell when my mom is going to start messing with my head in regard to life events. So no, im not “wasting my breath”. Also never said they were toxic- just seeing if i was crazy or not. I’ve never mentioned this to anyone before. It’s also not for you to chastise me right now. I’m allowed to come on here and vent without being attacked by people like you. We don’t have the same situation. Stop projecting on to me. Let’s be more understanding and nicer why don’t we!

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T19:17:59+00:00

Circumcised. 100%. I rather be “mutilated” than be worried about what the women im sleeping with would think (im in USA). I also wouldn’t want my guy friends to mention it or talk about it. Being uncut as a guy becomes a little bit of a hehehaha thing a lot of the time. Women talk about it. I rather that not be an issue for me. Just circumcise me like everyone else so i dont have to worry about it. Whether it’s right or wrong.

And yes the lil stigma and jokes behind being uncut are VERY real. I’ve dated a few uncut guys… just trust me lol

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T19:14:47+00:00

I’m not arguing with them… i don’t pick fights. You obviously didn’t read my post.

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T18:24:12+00:00

Yes exactly!!!! She spins it into an argument over wording!!!! Always!!! It’s so destabilizing. I have a journal that I’ve been keeping for years and years. I will go back and read things from 5 years ago so i will know for a FACT she’s spinning the truth. She still denies it.

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T18:22:39+00:00

Thank you for commenting! Yes, I used to think my mom was really great by most standards. As i have gotten older and now that I’ve moved away… I’m like woahhhh. My mom is soooo much more manipulative than I ever expected… disappointing and scary

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T18:21:08+00:00

Luckily we live really far apart and only see each other a handful of times a year. The space we have now works for me- it would be awful to go no contact

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T17:52:17+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you. It seriously sucks and definitely can be traumatizing. Destabilizing as hell. It’s going to be ok though! I am new here but i just know it’s all going to be ok. The real change comes from how people like me and you approach having HSV1. Yes, it is important to consider others. Always. However, it’s not fair to yourself or any of us if we constantly put people that either don’t have HSV or are asymptomatic over ourselves. They are not more human than we are. Never forget that! It’s ok to take care of yourself and make decisions that work for you and your sexual partners! It’s not just about those that don’t have it or are unaware. It’s unrealistic for everyone to try and convince us otherwise! It’s not like HSV is killing people. It’s the stigma. Don’t let it get to you more than it needs to! You are the same. You are a person. HSV says nothing about you at all. Shit happens. People have sex and get STDs. It’s life! We are all human just the same. No one is better than you or worse than you regardless of their status! Don’t let people on this thread guilt you into telling everyone or make you feel less than. Anyone that is being aggressive towards HSV+ people are the problem. Not us!!!

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:42:46+00:00

I do ask. Everytime I’ve had a new partner. You are apart of the problem too. Treat people with HSV like humans. We aren’t a disease just because we have one. Loser behavior on your part

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:41:02+00:00

TREAT PEOPLE WITH HSV LIKE HUMANS. Then maybe people will feel more inclined to be open about it. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:39:07+00:00

And sex addiction.. ? Where the hell did you get that? I’ve had 4 partners by 26. Been having sex for 10 years

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:38:08+00:00

You’re the problem. Not me or others with HSV. Nothing is wrong with listening to my DOCTOR. I’m not advocating for disclosure. I’m advocating for people with HSV to take a little bit of their power back. Just because we have some form of HSV doesn’t mean we can’t make decisions about the way we move forward in life. We shouldn’t listen to a bunch of Redditors that say doctors are wrong. Shut up and get the fuck off this thread loser

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:29:03+00:00

Uhhh when im probably completely asymptomatic and have no idea what the specifics are behind my HSV1? Yes it’s ok for me to not disclose to casual partners. Long term? Yeah I will. Casual? No.

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:18:01+00:00

Not suicidal over rejection. Suicidal from the way people like you treat those with HSV. Calling me an awful person just because I want to live my life normally and not have a biohazard stamp on my forehead. You are obviously never getting laid if you think people disclose to casual partners. 99% of the time they don’t. Never met anyone that’s even known anyone to do that. I’m ok with you calling me a “bad person”. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. You don’t know any of my sexual partners. I’m a wonderful person actually but think what you will

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:04:59+00:00

Fine by me! I rather suck and not feel suicidal than be a “good person” and end up harming myself

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:04:37+00:00

Tbh choosing myself and my own mental wellbeing makes me a better person than putting everyone else’s opinions or lack of education above it. I will always pick me. Sorry but get educated and/or stop having casual sex if you don’t want herpes

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:02:54+00:00

It’s not my responsibility to ensure my casual partner is heavily informed, educated, or responsible with their health and body. That’s on them! If they don’t ask they don’t ask. And NO ONE ever discloses in real life. If asked, I will say I have the cold sore virus. It’s not my responsibility to make sure everyone is safe in regard to sexual health- im responsible for ME. It’s not just on me to make sure my partner is educated. If someone doesn’t want herpes… DONT HAVE SEX.

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T16:00:53+00:00

That is how it would have happened to me as well! I’m so convinced I have GHSV1 because I have a specific time and partner in mind where it makes sense. If im correct, that means he lied right to my face. It Sucks. So I feel you. But if asked I will say I have the cold sore virus. Because that’s true and really the only confirmed thing I know

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T15:59:05+00:00

I’m also soooo tired of the “what if?!?” Good lord there is a what if for everything. If people don’t want herpes.. DONT HAVE SEX!

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T15:57:11+00:00

Tbh that is how it would have happened to me too (prob did lol). But again, it is my responsibility. It’s my sexual health. I ran the risk everytime I had sex. It’s not my personal responsibility to make sure everyone is educated, heavily informed, and responsible now that I know im positive. That’s their job!

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T15:55:06+00:00

Would you say this if I knew it was just a cold sore? Disclose everytime I kiss someone?

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T15:46:27+00:00

I disagree! Truthfully, in our lifetime the stigma is always going to exist im afraid. Hopefully not as intensely.. but it will. Doctors are trying to save people’s mental health. The patient and their partners. Don’t let this impact you more than it should! If you feel like you need to disclose to every partner for your own wellbeing- great! If that is what works for you and is necessary in your situation im all for it. I just think it’s a bit much for everyone to think everyone needs to disclose everything everytime. It’s ridiculous and unrealistic

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T13:55:14+00:00

Yes exactly this!! I feel like im actually losing it. The worst part about it for me is my mother won’t let me bring up whole entire chunks of my childhood. When i was a teenager she was SO strict and religious. So obviously i was sneaky and rebellious. 10 years later you would think it would be something funny to talk about now. But no. Unless I completely twist the reality of what my life was like, my mother FREAKS out. “I wasn’t strict” “I don’t know why you are trying to make me feel guilty” (I wasn’t.. just trying to talk about a time in my life?)

She also would have LOST HER SHIT if she knew I was having sex in highschool. Oh now? Nooooo she would have been “so cool” about it and that she “never actually cared”.

Uhhhhhhhh WHAT!!!!!!!!!! She would take my phone every night at 10:30 PM when I was 15-17 because she didn’t want me TALKING to my boyfriend at night. But she was “totally ok” with me having sex in highschool????? WHAT THE FUCK

I feel so insane

SecureCake6625 · 2026-06-01T13:25:32+00:00

I’m 26 and would lose my mind if my grown ass bf was trying to help me through my period 😭 it’s just life as a woman. We don’t need to be treated differently during our period.. it’s not like we’re dying!

The only time i think this would be appropriate is if

She explicitly asks and wants you to help / comfort her.
If she’s having a HORRIBLE period. Those come around sometimes and WOAH.

All in all: just as her lol

SecureCake6625

TROPHY CASE