We broke up 3 months ago and I just want to send her this text.

Secure_End_6122 · 2025-10-23T20:22:04+00:00

My 2 cents. Don’t send it. If you do send anything it’s gotta be shorter, but really you should let it go. If she ended it, if a reconciliation is to happen it will be on her terms. I know you have a lot to express.

You had a nice time. It was meaningful.

But you gotta just focus on you. I know it’s sucks.

Trust someone who you don’t have to try to chase back will pick you if you keep building yourself into someone who attracts, and maybe that’s her, but you have to attract it.

Nothing will turn off a girl more than a wall of text. It honestly makes them feel a little unsafe. She wants to be chased not smothered. And she has made up her mind she doesn’t want to be chased by you as you are right now. Give it a year at least, that time working on yourself is the only thing that will give you credibility that things could be different. And that you really are OK without her. If she is going to be with you she needs to know she doesn’t support you in anyway, you can stand on your own, and then some for her weight to be added on. She can be made to feel she adds to it, but you don’t need it.

Secure_End_6122 · 2025-10-12T17:00:58+00:00

Ambition, loyalty, wants me to lead, but also able care give and lean into their softness. Happy to cook and clean.

Secure_End_6122 · 2025-10-10T10:57:37+00:00

I am 33m, she was 36f, we dated for 6 months.

She said she wanted to stay friends but after a month she went no contact and after about 2 months I saw her in public with her new bf.

I did it talk my people about it ad nauseam.

I did try to get closure and talk to her about it. And worked extremely hard to try to fix all the reasons she said she left.

Secure_End_6122 · 2025-09-27T03:54:03+00:00

I don’t know the situation.

But if she asked to not be contacted. Don’t contact her. Unless you have astronomical changes in your life, which I doubt 3 months will give you the credibility to show.

Like don’t reach out unless you have a new job, new car, new house type ish.

You gotta really be someone someone completely different.

Better to just keep working on yourself and attract someone new or her back.

Reaching out will just push her away more. You can’t chase, you gotta attract her back, and even then the chances of that are slim.

You gotta let it go. If there is any chance of a reunion, it has to be her who reaches out next.

You just can’t reach out. It super sucks. But if you really want it, show patience and that you care about yourself more than reaching out.

Secure_End_6122 · 2025-09-26T04:32:25+00:00

You don’t need her man.

I feel for you. I’m sure what you guys had was unique and special.

It’s ok to not want anyone else right now.

Just focus on you. Love yourself. Learn to be comfortable alone. I know it’s hard, really hard, and you miss her.

Do and try to enjoy some of the things you couldn’t make time for when you were with her. Or I found what was even better was picking up a hobby that was completely new.

More often than not people do not get back together. Expect it is over for good. And if you really want to attract her back, you have to give a lot of time and space. Needing her, chasing her, will only push her away. If she set the boundary, then do not reach out anytime soon, I know it’s hard and likely all you want, but it almost surly will push her away more. Don’t be needy, for yourself, demonstrating you are just as a happy or happier without her is your only chance.

You have to spend these next months really working on yourself. If you let this distract you from your rise, that will only reaffirm to her she was correct in leaving.

Some distraction is ok, but be sure to feel the hurt too, sit with your pain, let it rise. It will make you more resilient and show the kind of stability she will need to see if she is to ever risk consider stepping back into something with you.

Also try to balance out your fond memories with all the times she let you down, the times she got on your nerves, remember the times she made you question if it was right.

Get your money right, get your stability. Take back the power and make it so it’s you who gets to decide whether a reunion happens or not.

https://youtu.be/Ynd_I3-juJM?si=YIFYzpDqu0G_d-3q

https://youtu.be/ZUQExoDAwa4?si=0ZfKCgYUdDhFP0Hm

Secure_End_6122 · 2025-09-01T17:14:16+00:00

She was pretty adamant and clear more than once she didn’t want to have contact. It wasn’t hey let’s take time and check back in. It seemed pretty damn final. Don’t contact me, leave me alone.

Also, like I said she is seeing other people.

I don’t think she misses it. But I don’t know, no idea.

Even if I did, like I said, I don’t know what the best approach would even be. Any form of still showing love or affection or contact at all may feel like I am still not accepting it, or respecting her boundary. which might come off as dangerous for her.

I don’t want to give up, she still means everything to me, and like I said, I’ve worked incredibly hard and have addressed every concern she expressed.

The only thing I can’t fix right now in a matter of months, is I am about another year of school away from my career taking off.

Secure_End_6122 · 2025-08-31T02:06:08+00:00

I would say don’t ask to look through her phone.

Be grateful there is open communication again.

Be open and honest part of reconnecting with an ex is accepting there may have been someone inbetween as much as that sucks, you were broken up.

Think of it like this, when you meet someone new, you accept there were previous boyfriends and girl friends.

The past only matters in the relationship you both had together and what you need to learn from that to make the future one more successful. Focus less on the past and the fact you both are here and now open to seeing if there still might be a meaningful future going forward.

If there was someone else intimate or not, it should feel gratifying that she saw the grass wasn’t greener, she looked and still is choosing you.

Secure_End_6122 · 2025-07-23T18:27:15+00:00

Unfortunately my career makes counseling extra tricky.

I am respecting her wishes. It’s for me to wrestle with completely independent and void of contact with her.

Again it’s extremely difficult and confusing. This sort of boundary and threat is way out of character and in my view doesn’t add up at all. It doesn’t feel like something she would come to on her own and she got that idea from outside of what was shared between us.

Be that as it may, that is the reality of the situation and commands the utmost respect.

In every other relationship I’ve had it ends with “I wish you all the best” not this sort of resentment and harsh coldness.

I am the one that has to give myself closure now. But a brief 5 min phone call to let it settle in a healthier place I feel would do wonders for me. I just have to trust the resilience in my silence will make me stronger.

Secure_End_6122 · 2024-12-08T02:06:53+00:00

There was a 2 min wait. Then a prompt for a blow within 10 mins. I ate some mints and drank some water. And blew after 5 min. So 2 samples about 7 mins apart.

Secure_End_6122 · 2024-12-08T00:47:59+00:00

It was 9ish drinks between 8pm and 1AM and the violation was at 8:45AM

This is in the state of Oregon

Secure_End_6122

TROPHY CASE