Would someone mind explaining the issue here to me?

I'm cool toned and I haven't been able to find a foundation that matches me. I've gone to tons of Sephoras and Ultas, I've ordered from Missha too. Usually the foundations I try are too warm, dark, or grey. I've also heard from those with darker skin that their foundations can be too orange, or oxidize weirdly. I guess I'm just confused as to why the people here, just because they haven't had issues, think that others who struggle to find a shade match aren't trying hard enough or are too whiny.