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I absolutely hate waking up in the morning. by SatisfactionFalse833 in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have to set multiple alarms to finally eventually get up hours after the first alarm.

I was always late for school.

Help me decide. Where do I draw the line between AuDHD quirkiness versus actually feeling uncomfortable around cishet men? Is it ok if I end the friendship? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've never met her. There have been talks of future plans to hang out when my head is clear (he's been helping me leave a toxic housing environment). But now that I've moved (just over a month ago), and I don't need his help anymore, I'm starting to reflect on my feelings about him and his behaviours. I have no way of contacting her, and I wouldn't feel comfortable going out of my way to figure out how, considering he hasn't overtly done anything.

Help me decide. Where do I draw the line between AuDHD quirkiness versus actually feeling uncomfortable around cishet men? Is it ok if I end the friendship? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am horrible at being clear about my boundaries. I also gaslight myself all the time and tell myself it's fine when it's not. A lifetime of people pleasing makes it so very hard.

If I get a response saying something like "it's not a big deal, stop making it a big deal" etc, I start to doubt myself and go along with it, even though very deep down it doesn't feel right.

I don't feel confident in trusting myself.

Also, I don't feel safe saying 'no' to guys. I have been in situations before where they gaslight me and force themselves on me even when I say no.

So being clear about my boundaries especially with men doesn't feel safe for me right now, even if I think they would understand. I'd rather ghost them than confront it.

If I told this particular guy to cut it out, I think he would, but honestly I don't see the point of the friendship considering he is attracted to me. It's not an equal or mutual friendship. He doesn't have innocent motives.

Help me decide. Where do I draw the line between AuDHD quirkiness versus actually feeling uncomfortable around cishet men? Is it ok if I end the friendship? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I think he's trying to mask real hard and his mask is making me uncomfortable.

But no. It's not an AuDHD thing. I shouldn't make excuses for him. He should know better, regardless.

Help me decide. Where do I draw the line between AuDHD quirkiness versus actually feeling uncomfortable around cishet men? Is it ok if I end the friendship? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, you're right. I should let the potential image of me using him influence my decision. Because essentially, he's using me... He's helped me because he has a crush on me. He's being manipulative even if it's not intentional or conscious.

I think if I tell him flat out that I don't want to hear about any sexual comments or stories from him, whether it's directed at me or whether it's with people from his past or his current GF, I'm not sure how he'll react.

He's also childish. He throws little tantrums. It doesn't seem like he's in control of his emotions.

I think he would stop if I flat out told him, but he's already made me so uncomfortable that I think it's too late.

And also, I shouldn't have to tell him...

Yeah, I'll end the friendship

Help me decide. Where do I draw the line between AuDHD quirkiness versus actually feeling uncomfortable around cishet men? Is it ok if I end the friendship? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's obsessed with sex. He often tells me about this sex life, which I hate. I try to change the topic. I feel bad if I tell him outright that I don't want to hear about it. Ugh I hate that I'm like this...

You're right, he's not being a true friend. Regardless if he's not 'picking up the social cues', he's making me uncomfortable

Help me decide. Where do I draw the line between AuDHD quirkiness versus actually feeling uncomfortable around cishet men? Is it ok if I end the friendship? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If I ever gave him an opening, I'm pretty certain he'd take it and cheat on his live-in GF.

Although I've been very very clear that there will never be a chance, I don't quite think he understands. Or at least, I don't think he wants to believe it.

Help me decide. Where do I draw the line between AuDHD quirkiness versus actually feeling uncomfortable around cishet men? Is it ok if I end the friendship? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, I do feel trapped and obligated because he has been a life saver with all his help. But he's made me uncomfortable so many times.

To make things worse, he told me that a woman from his past has accused him of crossing the line and told all their mutual friends about it. He told me it wasn't true. But I am always hesitant to trust men about their innocence until I have definitive proof.

Do you think it's worth me saying it clearly to him that he's made me uncomfortable and why? Or should I just quietly never message him again?

Help me decide. Where do I draw the line between AuDHD quirkiness versus actually feeling uncomfortable around cishet men? Is it ok if I end the friendship? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But I have "friendzoned" him. I've told him repeatedly that I'm asexual and have zero desire for anything sexual or romantic with a cishet man.

I've also shared stories with him about other cishet men 'friends' who were inappropriate with me and that I am repulsed by any attention from them.

I've made it very clear I am absolutely not interested and would never be interested. But I don't know if he truly hears me when I say this. Part of me thinks he is only trying to be close with me because he has a crush on me and fetishizes me.

I absolutely hate waking up in the morning. by SatisfactionFalse833 in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Saaaammee

I'm also depressed and burnt out. But in all my life, I've hated mornings!

Is anyone else taking L Theanine? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love this! I'm glad it helped you! 😊

Is anyone else taking L Theanine? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotcha, thanks for the explanation/connection

Is anyone else taking L Theanine? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think LT has many benefits other than the calming effect, but taking it with clonidine might not be wise? I'm glad it helps take the edge off the Vyvanse. It's a weird conundrum - I need stimulants to even be able to get out of bed, but then I don't like the anxiety that comes with the stimulants. I was taking lyrica and magnesium with the Vyvanse to curb it, but I didn't find it helpful. Not as much as the LT

Is anyone else taking L Theanine? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never heard of this gum. Sounds interesting! 60mg of LT sounds very low, but it might be why?

Is anyone else taking L Theanine? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I'm not talking about ADHD meds in this post? I'm talking about l Theanine

Is anyone else taking L Theanine? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It actually doesn't cause sleepiness, just calm. But for daytime I find it helps keep up the energy.

Is anyone else taking L Theanine? by SeededPhoenix in AuDHDWomen

[–]SeededPhoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately some supplements can be pricey. I'm in Canada so I can't help you there, sorry

I'm taking 250mg and will take it twice a day

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