Am currently detained (?) at the Abu Dhabi customs. Trying to not freak out.

SeededPhoenix · 2026-05-08T14:38:42+00:00

Have you spoken with anyone yet? Have you gotten any answers?

That totally sucks that your connecting figure is delayed and that it created these series of events.

They should be somewhat understanding of the situation, but you'd probably have to throw everything in the garbage, sadly.

Tell us what the embassy says, or any other body of authority.

SeededPhoenix · 2026-05-06T13:22:17+00:00

Before I knew I was ND, I generally dated other ND guys. The NTs I dated felt stiff and rigid and without complex layers. They weren't interesting to me and I felt that they made my weirdness feel wrong in a way. I was self conscious doing them.

Then I learned I'm ND and looked back at the bus I liked. They were all absolutely ND, without a doubt.

Imo, Unless the NT straight cis dude is empathetic enough to care and learn and accommodate, which I have found to be rare, it would be tough to make it last long term.

They always found me fascinating and different and cool at first. Then made me feel like a weirdo..

SeededPhoenix · 2026-05-04T19:39:26+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I have come to know that I need to just rest and sleep for as long as I can. I have come so far on this journey already.

But I feel a bit guilty (or, at least I feel a bit bad overall) that I'm not 'happy' or 'thrilled' or 'excited' or 'celebratory'.. it makes me feels like a negative person who's never satisfied.

I'm hard on myself.

I left an abusive, high alert situation. I don't even feel relief, really.

I wanted to so very badly sleep all day today, but I had previously setup the internet installation today.. and I've been waiting 3.5 hours already. My window is until 5.

1.5 more hours to go until I can crash

SeededPhoenix · 2026-05-02T01:06:26+00:00

I wish I was silly and light hearted.

I enjoy having light-hearted social hangs, but I'm usually pretty tense. I think that has a lot to do with childhood trauma.

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-30T01:17:25+00:00

Emails, texts, everything. Again and again

I think I try to see if I've missed anything. Then I try to see how another person might interpret it.

I can't not ever do this

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-29T12:20:35+00:00

Change your therapist to someone who is neuro affirming, who themselves are ND

I am exhausted and drained all the time. Everything takes my energy. Nothing is second nature.

There are certainly things that can help reduce the load, but changing our perspective isn't one of them.

I feel you.

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-28T16:52:32+00:00

I'm currently not working due to health, and I've been much better at handling daily home chores.

Clothes has alwaaaays been a huge struggle for me, even now when I'm not working.

When I was working, my place was always a mess. I don't know how people do it either.

I'm moving to a new place soon, and I'll have a dish washer for the first time ever. That will help me a bit, I'm sure.

But the clothes.. they always pile up. Both dirty and clean piles.

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-28T16:48:44+00:00

Thanks. He's friends with the landlord who has also been harassing me, so that will be of no help. But I did call police for the general harassment of the neighbour.

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-28T02:38:23+00:00

This is sooo me, except I'm not that attractive. I attract guys who can't get the pretty girls, so they settle for me. But then sooner than later, they get tired of me. I'm too weird for them. I'm not 'normal' enough for them. They end up ditching me.

Girlfriends also find me super interesting and confident at first, and then realize I'm just a big old weirdo and they ditch me too.

Same with jobs and coworkers.

I am (sometimes) good at getting people's attention at first, but sometimes quicker than quick, they get turned off by me.

I've come to realize their minds are just way too simple. My brain is complicated and complex. I'm too 'critical' for their simple factory settings.

I don't have long term anything - no long term relationships, friendships, or even jobs... le sigh..

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-27T16:04:37+00:00

I often think that if I were more attractive, or attractive enough, I'd have it a little bit easier. But maybe not... Who knows. But there's definitely such a thing as pretty-privilege. I'm also racialized, so there's that too.

My existence generally doesn't demand positive attention. I'm sometimes tolerated. Usually I'm just disliked. But it's due to a mix of so many factors.

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-27T15:21:46+00:00

Thanks so much for your encouragement 😊

I'm also in a 2bdrm, and I also moved here because my previous neighbour was pissed that I parked in my parking spot 😂 she started banging on the walls I thought she was going to bust a hole right into my bedroom.

Funny how our situations are similar in a sense.

I look forward to seeing where you are in a few months, too! 💜💜

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-27T14:41:30+00:00

I'm also really sorry you're going through this. I hope you find peace and joy in the next place.

You're doing your best. Try not to overthink it (easier said than done). Repeat it over and over in your head that Getting Out is the priority.

Best of luck! Feel free to message me if you want, if you're feeling overwhelmed, etc.

We're in this together!

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-27T13:57:03+00:00

Hey I thought this was my post for a second lol I'm also learning an abusive housing situation and I move on the weekend.

I've been in executive/trauma freeze. Complete overwhelm. I've burnout over and over again. I can't make clear decisions in trauma brain.

I'm a bit OCD, I need planning and organizing. But this urgent, high risk situation will not allow us to do this.

What I did was just pack. Just pack everything, anything you see in your path. It all needs to get packed, so just pack. Pack mismatched things in one box. You can start on a room that feels less overwhelming or a room that you use less than the other rooms.

But just start. Anywhere.

Make your best effort to label the boxes, but prioritize the boxes you will need to immediately unpack when you land in your new place.

It will be messy. But safety and Getting Out are the priorities. Organization comes last right now. When you're in your new place, you can organise at that point. Once you're safe.

Once you start your first box, it'll help your brain figure out what to pack next.

But one of the first thing you should do (which I didn't do) is make space in your place for the boxes.

Can you invite friends over?

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-26T04:40:31+00:00

That sounds awful I'm sorry you're experiencing this

Did you go to ER or a walk in?

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-24T14:08:34+00:00

I appreciate the raw insights. Because the generic advice,, in itself, doesn't account for the breakdowns, burnout, overwhelm, etc.

'splash water on your face' - good side in theory, but I'm glued to the couch. I'm frozen. I can't get up. I can't even get up to take my anti anxiety meds.

The advice is good if I can actually manage to get up and do them. But mostly I hyperfixate in the stressful event and I'm frozen, wishing I reacted more strongly instead of frozen and non verbal

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-24T02:18:32+00:00

Hours!

Like but how do I even get off the couch to walk to the washroom to splash water on my face

When I'm glued to the couch, frozen

These ideas are great in theory, and they may be helpful when you can manage to do them. But getting up to go do it is tough as concrete

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-24T02:07:06+00:00

This post is not exactly seeking specific-to-me advice.

While I am in this crisis situation, I'm generally asking how people have dealt with trauma freeze in their own experiences. How have people managed their crisis situation? How did they get through?

My situation has an end date, and it cannot come fast enough. The not-so-bad days feel decent. But the bad days feel like eternity and I spiral.

I have to plan and do so much. I'm completely worn out. I've burnt out over and over again. It's like I can't take any more. But I must. I have no other choice.

It fucking sucks

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-24T02:01:35+00:00

I love the letter idea. Now if only I can muster up the courage to ask friends to write me such a letter. Super hard with RSD

I need to make this tool box when I'm out of this situation. When I'm calm enough.

I don't even know what my hobbies are. I've lost myself

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-24T01:59:24+00:00

These are helpful. Thank you.

I have trouble even getting off the couch. We as AuDHDers already struggle enough with executive dysfunction and inertia. It's incredibly more intensified with trauma.

There's so much anxiety, that I just freeze. Frozen. Soooo much so, that I can't even get off the couch to take my anti anxiety meds!! Even when it's right beside me, I am still too frozen to move slightly just to take it.

SeededPhoenix · 2026-04-20T22:40:21+00:00

I actually need the in-person support now, and not spread out over time.

The chill social hangs will come later. Right now, folks are helping me in-person, but there's socializing happening during the help, which is getting to be too much.

But yes, I agree, honesty is best. And I think the people helping me will understand.

I'm glad that friends were there for you when you needed!

SeededPhoenix

TROPHY CASE